Revelation Within On the Go!

Journey Beyond the Scale with Kellie's Story of Faithful Resilience

Heidi Bylsma-Epperson and Christina Motley Season 1 Episode 93

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In this very special episode, Kellie Bradshaw shares her journey of overcoming lifelong struggles with food, body image, and health through Revelation Within. Her story of resilience and transformation highlights the power of faith in navigating challenges with weight, fitness, and menopause.

Through daily dialogues with God and practices like breath prayers and truth lists, Kellie reveals how mind renewal revolutionized her approach to life's hurdles. 

Kellie's narrative offers hope for those on their own journeys, emphasizing growth through perseverance and self-acceptance. Her triumph over binge eating underscores the transformative power of embracing our unique selves and aligning with Godly truths.

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Speaker 1:

Hi, welcome to our podcast Revelation Within On the Go.

Speaker 2:

I'm Heidi Wiles-Mepperson, one of your hosts and the owner and lead coach of Revelation Within, and I'm Christina Motley, your other host, also a Revelation Within coach, and Heidi's partner in all things Revelation Within. We are so happy to invite you to join us for this very, very special episode of Revelation Within on the go.

Speaker 1:

Oh, I love it. I love it. So why is this one very, very, very special, Very?

Speaker 2:

very special because my dear friend, our dear friend Kelly, is here and we're going to talk with her today about her journey and I just I'm so excited that she's here and just a minute ago, when we were saying on the go, she had her hands up in the air, she is ready to go and raring to go. Yes, Well thank you, Kelly, for being here today. You're welcome. I'm happy to be here.

Speaker 1:

Kelly, would you share with us and our listeners what is your background with food, eating and body image issues?

Speaker 3:

Well, I feel like I have, from a very early age, always thought that food was the answer to my problems. Even when I was young I was always very thin, though I was underweight most of my life. And when I was younger I had some abuse. In my childhood I was also very, very shy and I didn't have many friends. So I thought that if I could just gain some weight then my life would be perfect. I would be popular, I would have a better life at home. So it just kind of started that way and in order to gain the weight, I would stuff myself with food. I would just eat as much as I could at all my meals, and I just remember going out for ice cream with my dad and just getting like the biggest ice cream I could and just eating as much as I could. That was my young life.

Speaker 3:

I'm trying to think I didn't diet yet, but I was stuffing myself. So I guess that's like the opposite, right? So as I got older I kind of got to a normal-ish kind of weight, but I was always very much into exercising. I wanted to change the way my body looked. I still didn't like the way my body looked and that continued until I had my two girls and then, after I had my oldest daughter, I did start dieting to get that weight off and I was always exercising. I joined in the 80s when I turned 18, I joined Spa Lady. I don't know if you guys had that, I had Elaine Powers. Does that count? Yeah, it was like ladies only gym.

Speaker 1:

So as soon as I could join, I joined it I wanted to have muscles, which I never got.

Speaker 3:

But so yeah, so I did that. So I was always into working out. I was pretty fit, pretty good weight and lost my baby weight easily because I was always exercising and dieting. So I was kind of good at dieting and exercising and among my friends I was like the fit one who always gave the fitness advice and had the accountability groups with my friends. So I was very much into all that stuff, yeah. And then menopause came along, oh darn, and kind of killed everything, ripped it all what's that I know what's that.

Speaker 3:

I know. So then I did start gaining weight after that and have been unhappy with my weight since then. And just oh, and also I forgot to say this part I started binge eating With the abuse in my childhood. I kind of started dealing with it in my early 30s and I started binge eating when I was dealing with that.

Speaker 3:

So, that came along. So I definitely had an issue with binge eating. And then I developed a health problem where my body had an allergic reaction to all but about 10 foods Wow. So I had to cut my yeah, so I could eat these 10 foods and, of course, and I got down to this weight that I really liked, which is kind of I don't know, kind of disturbing that I couldn't eat anything, but I was really happy with my weight. So that's not good either. So I lost all this weight, I was happy with my weight, and then my body healed itself over a couple of years and I I was happy with my weight. And then my body healed itself over a couple of years and I was able to eat food again. And then the binge eating really came on, because I had had such a restricted diet for so long that once, once the doors were open, I was like chocolate all the time, everything all the time, and and that's kind of where I was when I started seeing Christina.

Speaker 1:

Well, I love hearing that backstory, because I didn't know that part.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I was trying to think when did we start Kelly? When did we start coaching? It was right after Fresh One.

Speaker 1:

Fresh Desire, wasn't it?

Speaker 3:

I think so. Yeah, I did the group and then I wanted to go deeper.

Speaker 2:

Thank you for that backstory. That really, really helps. We can all kind of resonate with some of the things that you said in different ways and people listening, I'm sure as well. How and when did you find? Thin Within now Revelation Within Mind. Thin within now, revelation within.

Speaker 3:

It's been a long time. I was involved in another Christian intuitive eating thing and I started feeling uncomfortable with that, so I wanted to see if there were other Christian intuitive eating things. And I found you guys just through Googling. I think I just Googled. Who knows if there was even Google back then, because the other one that I did I started in probably like 96, like after I had my oldest daughter.

Speaker 1:

And.

Speaker 3:

I really liked the concept a lot and so probably I don't know when did you? You guys have been around since the seventies, right 75. I don't know when did you? You guys have been around since the seventies, right 75. Okay, I would say it's been maybe 10 years, maybe longer. And so I bought the book, the Thin Within Book, and I you know how you can write in the book. Yeah, there's like, I guess, a thing at the end of each chapter where you write down. There's like little charts and everything. So I would start, I would write in the book, I would stop, I would give up, I buy another book and write in the book. So over the years I probably have bought five different thin within books.

Speaker 1:

Okay, You're not the only one who has experienced that. I have some myself. All right, so what were you looking for in your experience with Thin Within? Now Revelation Within.

Speaker 3:

I was looking for weight loss, let's be real, and I definitely wasn't thinking about a relationship with God, about a relationship with God but I did like the idea of having a more godly way to lose weight. So I did like adding that element into that. But I was looking for weight loss. That was number one priority, yeah. You're not alone there either.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, you're not alone there either. That's why I came too alone there either. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:

You're not alone there either. That's why I came too.

Speaker 2:

And Heidi too. Okay, so when did you invite God into your food, eating and body issues? How did?

Speaker 3:

that come about? How did that change for you? I really think I feel like I had it.

Speaker 2:

I had the two things separate for a very long time but, I feel like I finally invited God in when I started working with you, Christina. What did that feel like? What did that look like for you? Was it kind of a process?

Speaker 3:

Was it a moment? What happened with that? Describe it to us moment. What happened with that? Describe it to us. Definitely a process. I feel like it kind of happened naturally through mind renewal. Ah, okay, because I feel like I had decided many times that I would invite God into the situation and I would start out, and but I really didn't know how to do that. So I feel like I had the intention of doing that for a while, but it didn't really actually happen until I had been renewing my mind for a while and just kind of naturally was a product of that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's cool. All right, great, and we'll hear more about that and a few more questions. That's my favorite part. Yeah, I'm really excited.

Speaker 1:

So what has changed for you since you started coaching with the beloved, the amazing Christina Motley?

Speaker 3:

Oh, that's a big question. I definitely talk to God more throughout the day.

Speaker 1:

I definitely run to God more first than I used to, but that's still a big struggle for me.

Speaker 3:

I definitely have a different attitude about food. I'm still working on body image. That's a big one. That's a hard one for me. Mm-hmm, still working on body image that's a big one. That's a hard one for me. But I do know that there's one truth that I've gotten from one of the many mind renewal lists that I've gotten from you is that I know that God wants me to be comfortable in my own skin, no matter how my mind is thinking. So that's a big change for me, just knowing that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's awesome.

Speaker 2:

One of my very favorite things, kelly, about your journey Well, it probably is my favorite thing. I mean you, of course, but what I mean beyond that is the mind renewal piece has been amazing with you. You have been incredibly consistent and just you have gone after mind renewal. You've been so tenacious and it's been awesome just to walk alongside you and see this and to see it really changing you over time. You have worked really hard. Now, certainly, god is the one doing the work in you, but you have stepped forward in faith and, no matter what's going on, you're out there, you're renewing your mind and that's just been so exciting. So tell us a little bit about that. What is mind renewal to you? What does it look like to you? What does it mean? What does it look like in your daily life? How has it changed, kind of everything? How has it changed kind of everything?

Speaker 3:

Mind renewal is what changed everything for me. I remember in the first part of our journey together, Christina, where I was just stuck and you kept having different ideas. You know, let's try this.

Speaker 3:

And nothing was really working. And then you had this brilliant idea let's do a mind renewal intensive and let's remember and let's set a goal. I set a goal to my mind, I think, six times a day, and, and once I started doing that, that's when things started changing. So mind renewal to me is it's the most important part Yay. And it took me a really long time to understand what mind renewal was and I know you guys talk about this all the time.

Speaker 3:

I thought that mind renewal was my time with God in the morning. That's common. So before I understood what mind renewal was, mind renewal was my time with God in the morning. So before I understood what mind renewal was, mind renewal was my time with God in the morning. I'd have a really good morning and then the rest of the day started going downhill, you know, after downhill, until the nighttime, which was, you know, a mess. So the way that I was able to turn my health around, with my body reacting to all the food, was that I joined a Christian mind renewal program. Cool, like with all the other things, I was trying to get my health back. That was the only thing that worked, wow. So I came in to my time with Christina, knowing that mind renewal works. So that helped me to be able to have the faith to jump in.

Speaker 3:

So you asked me what's my day like? So I have my time with God, my coffee with God, in the morning. Yes, when you work with Christina, she sends you some great mind renewals every morning. So I always look at that first, so I renew my mind right away with my coffee and I read my Bible and I also have a breath prayer for the day. I know you guys have talked about breath prayers. Yes, I love breath prayers so much so I have a really good, solid morning with God and on my way to work I have a worship time in my car where I can sing really loud and nobody can hear me. I love it.

Speaker 3:

Then I have alarms set on my Fitbit, which I call my spiritual fitness bit. Love it, love it, love it. 11, 1, and 3. So every time my alarm goes off, I try, if I can, because I'm at work, to do my renewal. Goes off. I try, if I can, because I'm at work, to do a mind renewal, and it could just be a really quick one or it could be one of my. I have a whole bunch of truth lists on my phone and I counted them up. I have 88 different truth lists.

Speaker 1:

Wow yeah that doesn't surprise me at all.

Speaker 2:

Every so often, I'll say share it with me. Which one was that, I can't remember and she'll send it to me. They are awesome.

Speaker 3:

And a lot of them are from you guys, like, if I see a truth list that I really like from Christina, I'll do a screenshot, I'll name it something and I'll put it in my document, and some of them are lists of verses. And then I have a list of personalized verses and I have a truth list about chocolate that I use several times a week. Yes and so, yeah. So I have those times set established throughout my day. But also a lot of times in the afternoon I'll get snacky, I'll want some chocolate when I'm not hungry, and I'll go walk around my building and say my breath prayer.

Speaker 3:

On the way home, I check in and pray in my car and then, once I get home, I usually don't renew my mind, even though I have it set on my Fitbit to do. I usually don't, but it's funny because that's the time I need to do it the most is after work and on the weekends too, and the weekends have been a struggle. Christine and I have been working on that, and so now I have a mind renewal list about mind renewal and when I wake up I have an alarm set for Saturday and Sunday morning to look at that list before I get out of bed so that I can start my day off right. So I have a lot of mind renewal sprinkled throughout my day and until I started doing that, things weren't changing. Like things changed started changing when I did it throughout my day regular basis.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, they really really did so. For someone, kelly, who's never heard of mind renewal, I mean, you mentioned scripture, but what are you doing? What is that that you're doing several times a day? What's going on there? What is it?

Speaker 3:

Well, it's telling myself the truth, whether it's truth from the Bible. A lot of the mind renewal lists I have have come and I know this is another question from you guys have come from my failures. So if I have a mess up, I'll do what you guys call look and learn where I will sit with what happened. I'll ask God about it and a lot of times I'm a big journaler so a lot of times I'll just write whatever in my I'll just let it all come out. I won't try to write anything like sentences or anything, it all just comes out and then from there.

Speaker 3:

This is how I started out getting my truth list. Okay, so I'll have a mess up, I'll sit with God about it, I'll just write everything I can think of in my journal and then I'll go back to my journal and I'll circle the lies. Then, after all the lies, I'll write a truth. That's where my truth lists come from. I was doing that all the time. I don't really have to do that anymore because I got so many truth lists. I have so many truth lists that I basically go through them alphabetically, just back and forth, because I don't want to miss anything.

Speaker 2:

Definitely You're telling yourself the truth and I love that process. That is a beautiful process because you're taking your mess ups and looking at them with the Lord and creating truthless. Wow. I mean, that is one of the best ways, so that truth is really targeted for you and your struggles, your specific situations. That is beautiful. I love it. One more quick thing before we go to the next question Will you tell us about the surrender journal Kelly?

Speaker 3:

Sure. So I have a journal that part of my time with God is writing in my surrender journal from the day before and basically I write out in my little journal each line is an hour of the day.

Speaker 3:

I write out in my little journal each line is an hour of the day. So starting at 7am, I'll just do a line 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, all throughout the day until nine o'clock at night and if I feel like I've had a surrendered time or hour or whatever, I'll have a. I like to do colored pens and hearts and stuff. So, like my seven o'clock coffee with God is a nice open heart and I'll write coffee with God and then every time I renew my mind I write that in the journal with an open heart.

Speaker 3:

And every time I eat within my boundaries, zero to five, I put an open heart and if I do something outside of my boundaries I'll do a little closed heart and I'll write that and usually in a page of my journal I will write about that. It might be something really short, might be a sentence or two, but it might. If it's something that's big and I have a lot of feelings about it, I'll write pages about it, about that closed heart, and that's your look and learn then. That's my look and learn.

Speaker 2:

Yes, yes, yeah, and then I mean so this surrender journal was something that I mean. It started with an idea that I had, but Kelly really, really took off with it and was very consistent with it, and so I started one too, off and on, and then we've shared them off and on as well. It's a beautiful visual of kind of where's my heart today, and it's very encouraging to see all those open hearts too. And then the look and learn, of course, is encouraging as well, because truth comes out of that and learning and growth. So it's all so, so good.

Speaker 1:

I'm just sitting here in amazement and I feel like totally dumbfounded. I don't remember what class you were in with us Kelly, if it was the Build-A-Thin-Within Life class or if it was the Fresh One, Fresh Desire. But I just remember when Christina told me you were going to her for one-on-one coaching, I thought, well, tough cracker there.

Speaker 3:

I really did were going to her for one-on-one coaching, I thought, well, tough cracker there, I really did. I thought I was too.

Speaker 1:

I was. I'm like she is so diet mentality oriented. That's what I thought about you, and I apologize.

Speaker 3:

I love you that way no no, it's true, and I still am. That's my biggest struggle. So I'm still there and I was more there than I was now.

Speaker 2:

No, you're right, and I hate to say it, but I don't remember what class it was either. Well, this is what I remember, kelly, when we started, I mean for like a few months. Every time you said you know, each time I'm getting ready for the call, I think time you said you know, each time I'm getting ready for the call, I think why am I doing this? I should just quit. And then you would say but every time there's something that God wants me to hear, so I'm back again, yep.

Speaker 3:

And that was I mean. That was until recently, because that was so ingrained in me. Though I quit so many things, I quit more than so. I could start something new and shiny. I can't believe I've stuck this long with this. I've never stuck with anything this long.

Speaker 2:

I know, I know it's amazing, it's fabulous, and I would go to the Lord and say I don't know, is she going to quit? I just felt like he was saying wait and see and I'm so glad because it's been an amazing journey.

Speaker 1:

The next question on our list. Eve kind of addresses that, because what most people do in response to mess ups and failures is quit. You've spoken already a little bit to this, kelly, but what do you do with your failures and mess ups and what does the look and learn actually look like and feel like in your journey? So like, let's say, you went sideways and instead of quitting, you're going to do the look and learn. What do you actually do to do the look and learn?

Speaker 3:

So my look and learn is I will think about my mess up and I will write it in my journal like what my mess up was, and then I'll just let whatever comes out come out. I'll just write whatever I used to. When I was first getting all my truth lists, I would find the lies in what I had written in my journal and circle them and write a truth about it and make a truth list out of that and that would be my look and learn.

Speaker 3:

Now it is more like oh, write down what happened. I will write down my thoughts around what happened. Like I was feeling super stressed at work, I was really, really tired and I really thought that eating some peanut butter cups would make me feel better. So I would just write down stuff like that and then I would write down what is the truth about?

Speaker 1:

that.

Speaker 3:

The truth about that is that, yes, I'm really tired and I'm really stressed, and eating peanut butter cups numbs me for however long it takes to eat the peanut butter cups, and then the problem is still there. So, and then, after I write some truth about it, then I write what could I have done? What should I have done? What can I do next time? Next time I feel stressed at work and I want to have some peanut butter cups because they're in my drawer, I will take a walk around the building. Well, usually I read my chocolate truth list first. Take a walk around the building. Usually I read my chocolate truth list first. Take a walk around the building and usually by the time I get back, it's gone or better. So I write that in my look and learn. So what did I do? Why did I do it? What's the truth? What can I do next time? Awesome.

Speaker 2:

Wow, Kelly, that's great. What can I do next time? Awesome, Wow, Kelly, that's great. Well, I was just going to jump in and ask you how is that different from how you dealt with failure before?

Speaker 3:

I used to have that throw in the towel mentality. So the way I would have dealt with failure before was I would eat the peanut butter cups. Maybe I would eat all of them. Then I would go home and I would. Maybe I would eat all of them. Then I would go home and I would say I've already messed up, let's just keep on having this great fun time and eat more things. And then I would be disgusted with myself and then I would hurry up and get on my phone and find the next new diet program. That would be how I would deal with it in the past. Wow.

Speaker 2:

So how does it feel? How would you describe it? How does it feel different to look at failure this way?

Speaker 3:

It changes my perspective on failure and I remember when I first started working with you, you kept telling me that it is it's not a bad thing, it's a way to learn from your mistakes, and it took me a long time because I didn't. It took me a long time to understand that. So now it's just, of course, if you're looking at it through the with the diet mentality which I still do sometimes, like if I eat too much I'll think, oh no, you know I'm going to gain weight or whatever. But when you're not looking at it with the diet mentality, it's just a really good way to learn and to get better, to improve.

Speaker 2:

How has your relationship with God changed because of this process of look and learn, because he's the one that's been teaching you.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, my relationship with God has changed. I go to him, I speak to him so much more throughout the day, and I'm reading truths from him all day long. Even if they're the practical truths that aren't necessarily from the Bible, they're still godly truths. So I'm just, you know, putting that in my mind all day long.

Speaker 1:

Have you found peace with food eating in your body on this journey and if so, how? How has that happened?

Speaker 3:

I have found a lot of peace with food. I had a lot of fear of food Before I had my weird health condition. I was afraid of food making me gain weight. And then I became afraid of food because my body would react in such a miserable way if I ate the wrong food. So I was terrified of food. But now just knowing, I think the just eating the small, a small portion of something like that helped me not be afraid of food. So if it was a food that I was worried about making me react, christina would be like well, why don't you just try a little bit? So a tiny little piece of something? So that helped me very slowly not be so afraid of food.

Speaker 3:

I still have an issue with that because I think that's a really deep thing and I have some other health issues and I still struggle with wanting to eat in a certain way. But I also know that the discernment phase of Revelation Within, where you realize what foods make your body feel good, I know that that is a way that you can eat more things that make your body feel good. So I'm kind of like going into that and I hope that what I said just made sense. So the fear of food has changed. That's huge. Oh, and also just the running to food for comfort. That has decreased a lot. And Heidi, I forgot to say, well, yeah, I guess this is part of this question I don't binge eat anymore. That's awesome, and I didn't think that would ever happen. Wow, I mean it's. I can't even remember the last time I did, but it was. I mean, it was pretty much every on every weekend thing for me. Wow, and some. So that's a big change that I'm really happy about.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's a huge change to you.

Speaker 3:

As far as my body goes, I'm still struggling with that because I still really have a certain size that I feel I need to be, but I know that that's not the truth, so that's something that I'm still working on. You have a truth list for that.

Speaker 1:

Of course.

Speaker 2:

Yes, I sure do.

Speaker 3:

Yes, of course I've got a couple of body truth lists, I think.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, Do you want to share a little bit of one of those truth lists?

Speaker 3:

Let me pull up my let's see I have got okay. Is it B for body it?

Speaker 1:

is.

Speaker 3:

I'm in the Bs, so my body truth list. I like using color, a different colored pen for each one, and some of these I got from Christina and some of them are from my that I got for myself. I am a work in progress. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. God knows every hair on my head. God chose ahead of time to give me this exact body. My body is God's workmanship. God doesn't care if I have flabby thighs God's workmanship. God doesn't care if I have flabby thighs. Right, that's a truth. And God doesn't care if I have a visible bicep either. He doesn't care. Right, my body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. My body is not my own. It was bought with a price. I am God's masterpiece.

Speaker 3:

Jesus called me to take good care of the body he so lovingly made for me by eating a good variety of whole body pleasers within the boundaries of hunger and satisfaction. His boundaries for me are custom made, pleasant and bountiful. I will be content with them. Beautiful, I have one more. Jesus calls me not to hate my body that he has so carefully made. He has called me to treat it with respect and good care because it is the temple he lives in. He calls me to be grateful and longs for me to be content and comfortable in my own skin. He deserves gratitude for this body and life.

Speaker 2:

Oh, that's beautiful, Absolutely beautiful.

Speaker 1:

I love that list, kelly, and I believe that in time, as you continue to renew your mind with his truth about your, you're going to buy into the whole kit and caboodle.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, I can't wait. But then at the same time I'm afraid to accept my body, because I'm afraid that if I accept it I'll just go downhill, you know, I'll just let it all go. So there's that that I've got to let go of too.

Speaker 1:

Something that, when we were teaching a body image class together, christina and I, that God really brought home to me about the motivation behind improving my physical condition or whatever. Behind improving my physical condition or whatever it's this idea of going from for me a vanity to more of a.

Speaker 1:

I want to be ready and prepared for what God calls me to, and that just has shifted my motivation so much so that I could accept my body where it is. Yet I want to be ready for whatever he calls me to. So it's not like I'm not tolerating misbehavior on my part, Anyway. So I don't know if that resonates at all for you, but if so, it's a freebie, I agree.

Speaker 2:

Thanks for the freebie People don't get. I think a lot of times that doesn't matter what the numbers are. We all struggle so much with the same thoughts and the same lies about our bodies Yep.

Speaker 3:

Even when I was so, when I was young, I hated my body because I was too skinny, and then when I was a decent weight, I wasn't fit enough, or so I was just never happy. But I also, like I'm used to being a very thin size. I've been that way up until until like seven, eight years ago. I was just a real thin size. So I just I'm just unhappy that I'm not that thin size anymore, but it's maybe not realistic for me anymore. I'm still a healthy weight, but it's maybe not realistic for me anymore. I'm still a healthy weight. So it's like it's all. It's completely all vanity and also just the being unhappy with my body ever since I can remember.

Speaker 2:

It's just so it doesn't really again, it doesn't really matter what the numbers are. What is the doctor saying to you, for example, about your size?

Speaker 3:

That I'm within the healthy weight range.

Speaker 2:

Which is wonderful, but at the same time, if you don't have peace and you're struggling, I mean that's a tough place to be. It doesn't really matter what the numbers are. So many of us deal with the same lies, the same thoughts about our bodies. So, and you mentioned, you are in progress, certainly, but you have found quite a lot of peace with food and eating and even your body at times. Am I right about that?

Speaker 3:

At times, yes, that's definitely my biggest struggle. That's my biggest one.

Speaker 2:

So what have you released? That's non-weight related.

Speaker 3:

I guess one of the big things that I've released is just anxiety about I mean, it can be things that aren't related to food and eating at all. Right, yeah, absolutely. As Christina knows, and probably Heidi knows too, my youngest daughter has had Lyme disease for about as long as Christina has. It's just been such a bad situation. I've had so much anxiety about it and just to the point where it really was ruining my health, and I feel like, through the mind renewal, with Revelation Within, I have released so much of that.

Speaker 3:

And I feel like just some things that Christina and I have gone through together just has helped me release things. Just release that anxiety and feeling like I had to pray a certain amount of times or a certain amount a day in order to get Sophie healed, and like I just had this really weird OCD thing with prayer and being worried about her and so that's a really big one.

Speaker 2:

Wow, that is yeah definitely.

Speaker 3:

Other than that, I guess, control yeah.

Speaker 1:

That sounds like it.

Speaker 3:

Control over weight loss. What do you mean by that? Being able to let go more. Before I felt like I had control over how my body looked, how much it weighed by what I ate and by how I exercised. I feel like I have been letting go of that. Wow, it's a process. My hands are still well. They're like, instead of gripping into tight fists, they're like opening up just a little bit. I'm gripping with my fingers now they are they really? Are.

Speaker 2:

Kelly, they really are. I was going to ask you about shame or guilt. It seems like that's something you really dealt with a lot before. How has that shifted? Like you know, that's something you really dealt with a lot before. How has that?

Speaker 3:

shifted. I still definitely have a shame component that I'm working on just with the whole how I view my body situation. But guilt definitely Like just guilt around overeating. I don't really have guilt anymore if I mess up, because I've got to look and learn.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that feels good, doesn't it?

Speaker 1:

Yes, how has your view of yourself and what you believe about how God sees you shifted?

Speaker 3:

Something that's really shifted with me is that my goal with Revelation Within until very recently was weight loss, and I realized through a truth list somewhere I don't even know where it is that Jesus is my reward, he's my goal. Yes, yes. So, and I say that to myself pretty much every morning when I'm driving to work morning, when I'm driving to work that my reward is Jesus, not the weight loss. I think that's the biggest thing. That's beautiful.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that is the biggest thing.

Speaker 3:

I keep telling it to myself so that I believe it. You know, because I still that's mind renewal.

Speaker 1:

It's hard not to fall into that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, oh, I love it. How has your relationship with the Lord changed just in the past few months especially? I feel like there's been some pretty big changes in your relationship with the Lord. Tell us about that.

Speaker 3:

The main thing is that I just naturally go to him first. I just naturally go to him first, instead of food or television or my phone, and just how he has been able to help me more quickly with my anxiety, because a lot of times I would worry about something and I would just kind of ruminate on that and it would get worse and worse and worse until I was panicking. And now I pretty much I can go to him really quickly. That just happened to me last week. I had a whole bunch of stuff piling up. I was really anxious about it and I went to him and it was in the morning before work. I was so worried I couldn't even read my Bible and I went to him with it and asked him to help me and I realized by the time I got to work it wasn't bothering me anymore and that's huge for me because I can carry worries for days and years. That's amazing. That's awesome it is. It doesn't happen all the time, but it happened last week and I'm going to remember that.

Speaker 1:

That's good, yes, yes. Before we go to the last question, I want to ask you a question that isn't here and it's not one that's planned, so bear with me. If somebody was wondering about coaching with Christina and if they should do it or not, what would you say to them?

Speaker 3:

I would say just give it a try, because when I decided to do it I had no idea how much it was going to help me, but I decided to just give it a try and see what it was like. Give it a try, see what it's like. If you stick with it, you will realize that it's going to change your life and it could be the thing that you've been waiting for.

Speaker 1:

Yay, yay, thank you.

Speaker 3:

I was dying for Sophie to talk to her.

Speaker 2:

So my daughter, yeah, I'm coaching with Sophie and it is such a joy, and it's been about a year with Sophie, so that's been an incredible joy. Okay, last question, kelly, you've done so great, so if you could leave our listeners with one thing, one thought, what would it be? You know that they can kind of leave this podcast with which I know they've got lots of thoughts in their mind right now. I mean, I do, I've been so blessed by listening, kelly, but is there one thing that you would want to leave us with?

Speaker 3:

I would say mind renewal is the key. You need to find out what mind renewal really is. Listen to all the podcasts. Take a mind renewal class. Find out what it is. Renew your mind as many times a day as you can. Keep a file of truth lists on your phone. Keep it where you can access it. Do breath prayer I know we didn't talk about that but just renew your mind as many. If you renew your mind as many times as you can, it will change your life. That is to me. That is the key, kelly.

Speaker 1:

I just have to say that since I haven't seen you in so long and it has just been a delight to have you you have totally inspired me to recommit to my own mind renewal practices and do my own intensive. And I love your smile too. I have the benefit of seeing her and we're on video together, but the listeners don't get to see that I love your smile. I love how you're radiating just a beauty and God's love. I mean, you are just incredibly beautiful and inspiring.

Speaker 1:

And thank you so much for being here. Thank you.

Speaker 2:

Loved it. Yes, thank you so much, kelly. So we hope that all of you who've been listening have enjoyed this as much as Heidi and I have. I think my cheeks are like sore from smiling. I've just enjoyed this so much and, kelly, I'm just so proud of you, as I said. Anyway, join us next time for our next episode of Revelation Within On the go. See you next time, Bye-bye. Thanks for being here.

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