Understanding Bungees

Speaker 1 0:02

Hi and welcome to our podcast , revelation Within On the Go . I'm Heidi Biles-Epperson , one of your hosts and the owner and lead coach of the RevelationWithinorg ministry .

Speaker 2 0:14

And I'm Christina Motley , your other host , also a Revelation Within coach and Heidi's partner in all things Revelation Within , and we are so happy to invite you to join us for this episode of Revelation Within on the show . Yay .

Speaker 1 0:38

Well , today we thought we would conquer a topic that I don't know . It's been something that's been very helpful for me to be aware of , and so we wanted to share it with you all . We've made mention of it previously , and probably more frequently than I realized .

Speaker 2 0:54

So we thought let's do it , let's do it .

Speaker 1 0:56

Joy Lynn , who so graciously edits all our podcasts , always has great ideas for new episodes and she said you know you guys mentioned bungees , but how about a podcast specifically on it ? So bungees , what are bungees in the context that we are going to be referring to them in ? Here's a way of thinking about it . Have you ever been in a situation pretty innocuous , nothing volatile in particular , mellow , whatever , it's just kind of a moment in time and somebody says something , or there's a tone of voice or there's a look on their face , and it just sends you instantly into a reaction disproportionate to what it calls for . Have you ever experienced that ? Never .

Speaker 2 1:45

Yeah , I could have read Little Miss Tweety Pie . Yes , okay , yes , definitely .

Speaker 1 1:53

Well , I will give you an example of one of those for me , and , bless his heart , michael had no idea we were relatively newly married and Steve had mentioned our counselor , who was a marriage coach . Basically , he was coaching us from before we ever got married and he did such an amazing job .

Speaker 2 2:12

He did .

Speaker 1 2:12

He's in heaven now with Jesus . So he taught us about bungees , and I'll give you an example of when one happened , and then we'll talk more about what they are and how to manage them .

Speaker 2 2:22

Because , they can wreak havoc in lives if we are not aware of them , that's for sure .

Speaker 1 2:28

Yeah . So being aware of bungees and Michael was too helped me a lot in this situation . Michael and I lived on Catalina Island in this little cabin that was amidst Catalina Island foxes and their habitat basically , and Catalina Island foxes are very different , but I won't go into all those details right now because it's kind of not important to the story . Anyway , they frequented our porch on this cute little cabin that we lived in and they often left , you know , gifts . You know they'd go to the bathroom , let me put it that way . They'd just go to the bathroom and me put it that way . They'd just go to the bathroom and sometimes they'd be all over the porch .

Speaker 1 3:08

And so there was one morning in particular where I had had a wonderful time with the Lord and I thought you know what , before we go do anything else , I'm going to clean off this porch because it's got some fox doo-doo on it , a lot of fox doo-doo on it . So I took the hose and I turned it on , because I'm lazy , and I sprayed off the front porch and it was beautiful . And then Michael asked me if I wanted to go on a hike . So we thought , sure , let's go on a hike . And by the time we came back from the hike there on the front porch , front and center was a brand new , shiny new fox poop .

Speaker 1 3:50

There was a fox that came and pooped on our top step , right in front of the front door , while we were gone on this hike about maybe even an hour hike and they were watching me wash down the front porch . It's clear .

Speaker 2 4:07

Let's go , guys . Yeah , oh , it's nice and clean for us . They probably thought you were getting it ready for them , exactly .

Speaker 1 4:15

Now it didn't smell right and they needed to take care of that . So when we got back and saw this lovely deposit , michael said oh look , somebody left a gift for you . And I went instantly red alert , red alert , nuclear Now .

Speaker 1 4:33

I didn't express it outwardly , but it came surging up . Okay , very disproportionate . Michael and I had this amazing hike and all was well . And I come back and he just said this one little phrase someone left you a gift , or something like that , and okay . So we went inside and he noticed I guess probably because of my body language something was up , and he asked me about it and I said I just bungeed . And because we had both sat under Steve's teaching , of course we both knew what that meant and I didn't even want to talk about it .

Speaker 1 5:10

I was so upset , I was so angry , and so I spent a little bit of time with the Lord talking to him about it , and he reminded me of a situation that I probably bungeed back to . Of a situation that I probably bungeed back to . And I mean , picture it you're in the present moment and suddenly something snaps and it's like a bungee cord holding you to a moment in the past where somebody said or did something that you didn't care for at all . You're right back there instead of in the present moment .

Speaker 2 5:42

All right .

Speaker 1 5:42

So what was that ? I had worked at a nature center as basically cleaning cages . That's what I did , and there was an opossum that lived in a nice big cage there and I had the job of cleaning it up every day , putting down fresh sawdust , and the guys I worked with were really unpleasant characters .

Speaker 1 6:04

They they treated me with not any respect really , and one time , after I had just cleaned the cage , one of them , the boss of the two , said Heidi , she left you a gift , the opossum and an offering , and it just the same words even yes , it was .

Speaker 2 6:27

And .

Speaker 1 6:28

I was so irritated with him for referring . I mean it felt demeaning . I don't know if it would have to others . I think there's another bungee that goes back earlier in time . Yeah , could be , but it's like , wow , how demeaning to say that to an employee who has just cleaned the cage . Anyway , I realized as God was sharing Heidi remember this that I had bungeed back to that moment and Michael was not that boss who I had . No , there was no loss of love between us when I left . Let me just say that I think it was . Don't let the door hit you on the way out . When I quit that job years before I mean years before , like years before , it was a long time . I was 18 or something when I had that job anyway , and so what are bungees ?

Speaker 1 7:14

it's basically when we go back to a wounded place , as though we were attached by a bungee to the now , and all of a sudden bungee snaps and we are back to that point in time where we were wounded or hurt . I can think of a bunch of other bungees that I have in my life and I'm aware of them Now . I kind of jokingly said there might be an earlier bungee , but really the way that Steve taught us about bungees , there are usually only about four real bungees . They all have sources to , you know , deeply wounding . You know where we're diminished in some way , devalued or we're not enough , and so this was probably one of those , and it just had happened with jim , my former boss and then modern , I mean Michael didn't mean any of that by it .

Speaker 2 8:07

He was just being silly .

Speaker 1 8:10

And so he was going to get the wrath of that poured out on his head if I didn't recognize it was a bungee . So that's one reason why we wanted to share on bungees with you all , because you may have some and it may cause you to go from a calm place to escalating your adrenaline and emotion and you may lash out at somebody and wonder where did that come from ? Sometimes it comes from these wounded places in our past . So I can think of when we first had an opportunity to experience that . Michael was the first one who had a bungee and recognized it and basically the bungee took him back . I won't tell you what precipitated it , but it took him back to a moment in time where his dad had asked him to choose the belt that he was going to spank him with .

Speaker 1 9:04

I don't even like I mean that is huge . If you have especially those of us , I think , that have abuse in our past , it's really easy to land there and have it affect me now and all the mind renewal in the world . If I'm not aware of the bungee , I may not have a mind that's renewed about it . It's a way of recognizing how our pasts can impact us in the now and keep us from experiencing in the now that transformation that comes when we have renewed minds . It's not like it undoes the work that God has done . Of course not Right right .

Speaker 1 9:44

But it does . Certainly it makes it a challenge , christina . What ?

Speaker 2 9:49

do you think ? Well , I was just as you were talking and , yeah , it's so valuable what you just said , so valuable . I remember when you first introduced this concept to me when you were learning it , you and Michael from Steve , I thought the first thing I thought was I don't have anything like that . That was my first thought , was no , I don't , I don't think that's true for me and I just like , right away and it wasn't more than , I think , 24 hours that all of a sudden I had one . Because , you don't realize it , if you're not kind of looking for it , you probably aren't seeing any of them , right ?

Speaker 1 10:31

right .

Speaker 2 10:32

So , and then the other thing I was thinking of , you know , my husband , he's real outdoorsy and he has a big truck , and so he uses bungee cords a lot and tie downs more , even more , and on each end is a metal hook , and those hooks are so strong you can , you know , hook them into the truck , hook them , you know , pull the bungee cord over all the wood or whatever you have back there , and it is strong and if the one end , if you accidentally let go of it , I mean that snap is going to , it's going to hurt .

Speaker 2 11:21

So I was thinking about that and I got this image kind of in my mind of that hook grabbing a hold of my collar , you know , and pulling me back into the past .

Unpacking Emotional Reactions for Healing

Speaker 2 11:33

So it is a very real thing and I think that it is so , so helpful , especially in relationships , you know , to be able to kind of practice over time noticing like , wait a minute , my reaction is so big right now . What's going on with me ? There's something behind that . It's not just like , oh well , I guess I'm in a bad mood , I mean , it's more than that .

Speaker 1 12:01

Or we self-deprecate when really there's something here that we can bring to God and experience his healing from . I remember one other gosh . It went way back to my childhood . There's another bungee that comes up for me . It still does . I'm thankful God has made me aware that it is a bungee and basically it's if I feel misrepresented or misunderstood because people especially close to me who should know me , act as though I'm not the person that I am . I've worked hard to fix some things in my life Well , to welcome God into , I mean .

Speaker 1 12:37

I really have Work on maybe ? Yeah , so work on with the Lord . And so if somebody says I'm this or I'm that , that's fighting words and it's an instant reaction when I think about the earliest bungee . See , this is what really helps is when you think okay , lord , I just had this reaction .

Speaker 2 12:56

Where am ?

Speaker 1 12:56

I feeling it in my body , because our bodies don't forget a thing . I mean , I know that sounds kind of weird , but when you think about it I remember things that my body . I remember smelling certain things , I remember stepping on a nail . I remember I mean really well , and it's because I have a visceral response to thinking about it .

Speaker 1 13:16

Anyway , years and years ago , my parents had a home with a swimming pool in the backyard and oftentimes the neighborhood kids would come and we'd swim together in that pool at my house and I had asked them can I go swimming ? And they had said no , and so I thought it was understood okay , I'm not going to go swimming here at our house . And so I went down the street and I went swimming at somebody else's house and I didn't think about it being something that they would have forbidden , I think , because it didn't make sense to me . I don't know . It just didn't dawn on me when I came back through the front door , though I had left around the gate . When I came back through the front door , they thought I had been swimming in our backyard and I got in a heap of trouble .

Speaker 1 14:03

I had not done anything wrong from that perspective and I for some reason I might remembering the story wrong , but maybe I stayed out of the pool , even down at my friends , and just hung out with the people there . But I hadn't done anything wrong and I got in deep trouble and they were spankers . So yeah , or whatever you want to call that , I sound so bad anyway . Yeah , and they punished me physically and also grounded me , and so I have a reaction to that . If somebody responds to me as though I'm not doing what I say I'm going to do , I have a reaction , and it's not a good one at all . If a person in my life is interacting with me and they seem to think that I'm not believable , that I'm lying about something , oh , my goodness it just now that I know that's a bungee for me .

Speaker 1 14:55

I can recognize in the moment what's going on and boy . Does that ever help ? Yeah ?

Speaker 2 15:01

So what do you think ? Yeah , another way that I've heard it described is like pushing your buttons , you know maybe you've heard someone say that where it's like wow , that really it bothers you in a way . That's just really really big and it's like hard to shake and you know , and your body responds to it as well .

Speaker 1 15:22

Yeah , so what if you are in a situation and you recognize you've just been bungeed ? Let's talk about what to do about that , okay , okay . And we heard from one of our participants this morning in our mind mastery blueprint class that this had actually helped her this week , and so that was awesome to hear about an example that you know . Basically , when you recognize that you're bungeed , you want to not follow that bungee back to the past , you want to let go of it here . Let's let go of it . And then inviting god in . You know , lord , what's let go of it , and then inviting God in . You know , lord , what just happened to me . It's clear I'm not in this present moment because I had a huge emotional reaction and , lord , I don't want to be a victim to this emotional reaction that isn't rooted in the present moment , it's clearly rooted in my past . And then I like doing this all on the fly , you know , on the go , as we might say . I also can journal about it . When you have a minute , you can do that .

Speaker 1 16:20

And ask him questions like these , waiting on him for his response and it may not come as you're sitting there or as you're driving down the road , but it will come . I really believe that . Ask him when have I felt this way before ? When did I emotionally have this sense ? Maybe it's a sense of rejection or a sense of something made me really angry or something made me super sad . And then where did I just bungee to ? Is there a moment in time , an age that I was ? Is there a place ? Are there other people I can picture in that ? What was the situation ? Where was other people I can picture in that ? What was the situation ? Where was I when I first felt this way ? What exchange you know dialogue , was it ? What person in my timeline was I reacting to and just inviting him to show you because he says call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things ? You do that .

Speaker 1 17:17

So that's Jeremiah 33 .

Speaker 1 17:22

And I want his wisdom and he wants to give it . Yes , here's an additional thing . We mentioned our bodies a minute ago , asking the Holy Spirit to show me where in my body I feel this sensation . If it's sadness , where do I feel it ? If it's anger , some of us have very specific places where we feel anger , like in the middle of our chest , or maybe it's in the small of our backs , whatever . So ask him , ask the Lord , when have I felt this physical response before ?

Speaker 1 17:49

And what ends up happening is he shows us something that indicates a wounded place that he wants to heal , and not everybody has a lot of these , you know , some of us are blessed to have more wounded place , oh dear . And then , um , it's helpful to go a little further with it . Asking him okay , I recognize where I was bungeed to , where I went back to in time and what happened . But ask him then to show me is there a lie that I believe because of that experience back there and like for me , it might be that I have no value ? Or I mean , when my boss , jim , said that opossum left you a gift , I thought that was so demeaning and it spoke to me of my value , and you know . Coming back to the present moment with Michael . He wasn't saying anything about my value at all , he was just making an observation . Right , it's funny , I think , and so is there a lie , I believe because of that experience , some of us are wounded places , have this power over us , to define us , and we want to shake that ?

Speaker 1 19:02

we want to , yes , we want to refute it with God's big T truth . So , god , what is really true is I do have value . You've attributed all kinds of value to me , and you know . Ask him to remind you of scriptures that can help you to latch onto that fact that you have value . Another thing to ask him about this wounded place where you've , you know , gone back to in time , is ask him if there's a vow that you made at that time that isn't serving others , or yourself or him . And this , for me , what this looks like , is something like this Nobody will ever treat me that way again .

Speaker 1 19:40

And now what that does if I carry that vow with me into my life . Now I have an edge to my interactions with people . I'm defensive and that puts a wall between me and others . So I want to kind of disavow the vow , reject the vow and ask him for his help with it .

Speaker 1 20:00

I want to call it out and break my agreement with it . The one that's most common for me is no one will ever do that to me again . And then I like to go one step further , because typically , when somebody has treated us in a way that is the source of a wounded place in our lives , there's need for forgiveness . Ask him to show me who I need to forgive and for what , and really forgiveness can go quite deep , but we'll have an episode on that another time but ask his help to forgive Because the mind of Christ that we read about in 1 Corinthians 2.16 , the one that he says that Paul tells us we have the mind of Christ it's generous , it's forgiving .

Speaker 1 20:39

We want to think with that mind about where we are now in time , and like thinking that Michael was intending to devalue me or demean me in any way or disrespect me because of what he said about the fox poop would be wrong . It's just a lie and the enemy loves it . When I camp on a lie today , that was rooted in my past and so I want to reject that and think with the mind of Christ . Instead , be willing to forgive Even Jim back when I was 19 years old , who said what he said . I want to forgive , as God has forgiven me . Yeah , and you know what I can turn to counterfeit comforts in those moments when I'm bungee .

Speaker 1 21:21

Absolutely . You know like overeating and I don't want to do that .

Speaker 2 21:25

So I'll share a specific example , something that happened this summer and it wasn't coming . The bungee didn't come so much from a wounded place In this example , it came from a place of fear and worry . It took me back to that place . So my middle daughter , when she was a young girl , like throughout her childhood , she struggled with food and eating , in terms of just not really wanting to eat and being very , very , very particular about what kind of food , what brand of food that it was , and those kinds of things , and so she was very thin , she was actually underweight and we were worried about her , we were concerned , we were fearful , and so every day , you know , I tried to put together meals that you know she would enjoy and that she would participate in , but a lot of times she wouldn't . Okay , so that's kind of the backdrop , but I wasn't thinking about any of that . This last summer , my daughter now she is a healthy size and she's vibrant and she's healthy and everything is fine and she tries all kinds of different foods and it's , you know , things are going very well for her . She's very balanced in that area of her life . But here I was finding myself so often maybe a pattern that I was seeing over a couple of weeks where I was sitting with her on the couch watching a show and eating food . And for me , watching a show and eating food , and for me I wasn't hungry at all , my body didn't need food and sometimes she would eat some and sometimes not . But I realized that I was in a pattern of behavior that I didn't want to be in and I thought why am I doing this ? Why am I sitting down with her every day in the afternoon and watching a show and eating food when I'm not hungry ? So when I brought that to the Lord I mean , his wisdom is so much bigger than ours , right ? If it had just been up to me , I probably would have said well , I shouldn't have that kind of food in the house , I'm just going to get it out , or I must be addicted to this kind of food , right ? Or why can't I just stop it ? And then there's something wrong with me . I'm such a this or that and give myself names or whatever .

Speaker 2 23:45

And instead I went to the Lord at a different time , when my daughter wasn't around and it was private , and I said Lord , why am I doing this ? I don't like it , I don't feel comfortable with it . And he showed me that I had been bungeed back to when she was a little girl and I was sitting with her and basically feeding her because I was so worried about her and anxious that she was underweight . And when I saw that it was like , oh my gosh , that makes perfect sense , but that's not now . And so the Lord and I did a little journaling on this , because this was kind of a big one for me , and I wrote a list of what it was like then and what it's like now . Oh , that's so good , yeah .

Speaker 2 24:31

And I realized that it's like night and day with her . You know , with food and eating it's like night and day . And I thought , okay , you know , and then I can renew my mind with what is true now , what is true right now . Everything is fine .

Speaker 2 24:47

You know , I was bungeed back and it was a strong pull and I mean it created a two week pattern or so . I didn't even notice , I didn't even notice , I didn't even think much of it . I felt a very strong urgency to do it , but I didn't really question it until I got uncomfortable and thought , well , something's not right with this . Anyway , after that I was able to adjust my thinking . I renewed my mind about what is true from that list , what is true now , and prayed through it and asked God to help me to be in the moment , in the present , not in the past , so that bungee cord was cut or whatever and I was able to sit with her and talk with her and watch a show or do whatever we're going to do , and not involve food . Or if we were hungry , we planned to eat together and that was fine too , but that emotional kind of that pull where it's like what am I doing ? That was gone .

Speaker 1 25:53

Oh , that's wonderful .

Discovering Bungee's Versatility

Speaker 1 25:55

I love how God took this application of bungees and used it in kind of a different way with you , because it shows the versatility of the concept and really it's also I mean it's powerful because I can imagine that felt like a huge , huge breakthrough to become aware of why you were struggling with eating when you weren't hungry . That's not your MO at all , you know . I mean it's interesting , really interesting .

Speaker 2 26:22

Yeah , so we hope that something that we've said here today has been helpful for you . We're so glad you've been here with us . We would love for you to join us for our next podcast episode of Revelation Within on the go thanks for being here .

Speaker 1 26:45

Yeah , see you next time . Bye .