Speaker 1: 0:01

Hi and welcome to our podcast Revelation Within on the go. I'm Heidi Biles-Maepperson, one of your hosts and the owner and lead coach of the RevelationWithinorg ministry.

Speaker 2: 0:12

And I'm Christina Motley, your other host, also a Revelation Within coach and Heidi's partner in all things Revelation Within. We're so happy to invite you to join us for this episode of Revelation Within On the go.

Speaker 1: 0:34

Come on in, we are so glad you're here, yes pull up a chair, get ready to laugh with us because we're in a giggly mood. Yes, which?

Speaker 2: 0:44

is not unusual for our podcast recording time.

Speaker 1: 0:48

Right, that's true. Well, if you have ever thought, why can't I just get over this, this food, this eating, this body image thing, you're not alone. We hear this from everybody. I mean so many women, beautiful, jesus loving women, who have spent decades stuck in this cycle of dieting, overeating, overexercising, restricting, condemning themselves, just plain thinking too much about food in their bodies. If you can identify with that, you are not alone, you're in the right place girlfriend.

Speaker 2: 1:25

Yes, yes, yes. And if that's driving you crazy, yeah, we want to be in the opposite place that list that you just described, heidi. I was thinking what would be the opposite of that. That's where we want to be, okay, so today we want to lovingly explore why this has been so hard for so long. Are we just crazy? What could possibly be so difficult about this? I mean, many of us, you know, we've met all kinds of goals in our lives. You know educational goals and all of this in the relationship and these different things at church and whatever, but this one, this one, is so hard. Okay, so there are real reasons behind this.

Speaker 1: 2:14

No, we're not, we're not crazy.

Speaker 2: 2:17

We're not crazy and we're not hopeless either. Okay, so there are real reasons for this. There are real reasons. So breathe a sigh of relief and just know, yes, there's a good reason here, and it's not because you're lazy or crazy and it's not because you lack willpower, but because this is a layered journey, and God is not surprised by any of it. It's layered, there's layer after layer, and that's where we want to go. We want to get into that. Let's unpack it together and also share the hope that we have, because, no matter how long this has been your story, it isn't too late for it to be rewritten.

Speaker 1: 3:03

Amen, I love that. I love that. I need my story to be rewritten. I have memories of food, my earliest memories of food, my youngest childhood memories. Food was not my friend ever, ever, no, not ever. There was this setup. Certain foods were elevated and desirable, but you know, for me I was like oh, yum, yum, yum. But I had to earn the right to eat those foods by eating foods that tasted nasty. How else to put it? How else to put it? The good foods, good foods, the ones that my parents put on the good food list tasted awful. Their texture was bad. They were soggy. Well, my mom didn't know how to cook either, but she had to eat those to get rewarded with the foods that tasted really good. Awesome, how about you? Can you relate to that, christina?

Speaker 2: 4:04

Yes, you know what, when I was a little girl, I feel like it was all fine and dandy. It just feels like a happy little blur as a little girl, especially eating at my grandma's. But then, as I got into my early teens, I realized that my mom was overeating all the time and I thought, yeah, you know what, this is what you do. And I realized that she was speaking negatively about her body all the time. And you know, you get to a certain age where you're kind of aware of those things for the first time. Yeah, also, I became very, very aware that there was a good foods list and a bad foods list in our house.

Speaker 2: 4:50

Yeah, like mine, huh Well, similar, but not quite, because my mom couldn't cook at all and I don't think we even really ate vegetables. I don't know. We ate vegetables at my grandma's, so I actually love those, so it's a little bit different. Yeah, the good foods quote unquote were what you would call nutritious, but they weren't necessarily vegetables. And then the bad foods list included all the foods that my mom binged on, and so I learned that the forbidden foods are the ones that I really wanted and I was drawn to them more and more because they were what I wasn't supposed to eat.

Speaker 2: 5:35

So all that to say and you know, I keep mentioning my mom she was an amazing person and I love her and I miss her. So my mom was a disordered eater, and it makes sense because of what she went through in her own childhood, and so I don't blame her at all. But yeah, there was a lot of stuff going on in my house that was extremely confusing around food and eating. By the time I was a teenager, I was full swing into the cycle of overeating, overexercising, over everything. I had a very distorted view.

Speaker 1: 6:13

Yeah, yeah, and then you know, for me too. So I had this issue going on with my perspective on food. I didn't even know it was a problem, I just knew it was life for me, where these foods were the desirable foods to me, that I had to earn the right to eat by eating all of the yucky foods that literally made me gag. I couldn't and I got punished and all of that for that.

Speaker 1: 6:34

But I also had some things going on with my sense of my body image and I remember in fifth grade there was a friend of mine who looked a certain way and she received so much teasing. You know, I look back at it now and I think she just developed a little earlier than the rest of the girls, but I would do anything not to be the object of the classmates teasing and seeing the way they treated her and how it affected her made me scared to death that they would do the same to me. Wow, and then later on in high school, my mom met. Well, she put me on a diet when I was 14, a liquid diet. Oh my gosh, I was super active, I couldn't do that.

Speaker 2: 7:27

Wow.

Speaker 1: 7:27

Wow, 14. Yeah, I mean. And then I remember after school, sometime during around that same time, I would have basketball practice after school, lots of running for that, and then I would get on my bike which I had ridden to school and I would bike seven miles to a gym to work out some more yeah. It was crazy. How about you, christina? What was your relationship like with your body?

Speaker 2: 7:54

Yeah, oh, my goodness. Well, I've mentioned before that I grew up in the Los Angeles area and so growing up there, there's just this tremendous pressure to look a certain way and at that time, also to be very tan and very fit. And there was no such thing really as like tanning beds. Nobody did that. We all just got out in the sun and tried to get tan. So which, you know, I mean everybody my age is now worried about skin cancer, of course, but I had a very, very distorted view of my body in comparison to what the world said I should look like. You know, I lived just half an hour away from Hollywood, and so all the billboards, all the commercials, all the messages, everybody was at the gym all the time. There was this pressure to look very thin and very fit and muscular and tan, and all of this and I just thought it was normal. I didn't realize that I lived in such a strange place until we moved, and when we moved to Colorado, I was absolutely floored by the difference.

Speaker 2: 9:13

I mean I was living in a body image pressure cooker in LA, yeah, and I have to say my friends that are still there are very much entrenched in that. Even still, the pressure it's real, it's real. But from the age of 14, um or 15, something like that, I was overeating, overexercising, like I said. So I was already getting bigger and bigger and then by the time I was 16, I was going to the gym with my mom. She invited me to come with her and I thought that was normal to be 16 and spending all this time at the gym and we had to weigh ourselves every time we walked in.

Speaker 2: 10:03

I was constantly aware of my weight and I did so many aerobics classes in purple spandex I can't even tell you, shiny spandex is what we had back then Deep blues and purples and pinks, oh my gosh. But the thing is, you know, the minute I wasn't able to do that, the minute I was too busy, or my college classes were demanding, or I had three jobs at the time. The minute I wasn't able to keep up, my overeating took over and I got bigger again. So I was in this. It felt like like a pressure cooker, like okay, I have to do this or this is going to happen. I have to do this. Oh no, oh no, ah. You know like I couldn't manage it. It was unsustainable, unmanageable, and it felt awful and I never, ever felt comfortable in my own skin, ever.

Speaker 1: 11:05

Right, you know it's interesting, I was just thinking that. So, both of us having common that this started for us, you know, decades ago of course yes. And chances are many of the listeners have felt that way too. But then I fast forward into more recent history.

Speaker 1: 11:22

Even as an adult, you know, I played competitive tennis and was very fit and I remember going to one doctor for a general, you know, checkup, whatever, and she was new to me, she didn't know me and her looking at the numbers. She didn't even look at me, she looked at the numbers and she was very disapproving of the number on the of the scale and I had been looking for a doctor anyway. This lady was just assigned to me in the meantime and I found a new doctor soon after that. I went to him, which was a big deal for me. To go to a a man doctor was a big deal.

Speaker 2: 12:02

Well, yeah.

Speaker 1: 12:03

And first look at me. He said whatever you've been told, you clearly are physically fit and healthy. Wow, I just read about this the other day because I had posted in the blog years ago about this and oh, wow, it's like I wish there could be more people who cared about the whole picture rather than just a stupid number. That's really arbitrary. Anyway, clearly for all of us, or many of us, certainly this isn't a recent struggle. It started when we were really young. It might've been 13. It might've been younger, or maybe you, listener, can't remember a time that you weren't thinking about food, about your weight, about good foods, bad foods, food about your weight, about good foods, bad foods, about how your body looked. As we know, it has saturated our culture and our lives, pretty much all our lives.

Speaker 2: 13:05

Yes, yes, that is so true. And we've heard stories about people who everything kind of started in their twenties or thirties or when they started having babies. Things like that, too, started in their 20s or 30s or when they started having babies. Things like that, too. Our stories are all really so similar in so many ways. So, and when you've repeated something over and over and over, for years and decades, those thoughts and behaviors, I mean, they become deeply wired.

Speaker 2: 13:27

Yeah, they do you know, our brains literally create neural pathways, well-worn trails really, that say control is safety, food is the enemy, or maybe food is comfort. It's the only way I know how to cope. Boy, that is exactly how I felt. I remember just feeling panicked when I didn't have certain foods in the house and I thought how am I going to cope? And you know what, changing that takes time. It does, but it can happen and it's worth the time it's worth it.

Speaker 1: 14:08

Yeah, it really is. And this is where you know Jesus speaks right to the heart of this, which is so awesome. You know it's true. The word of God has so many answers, all the answers we need, in Matthew 23, verse 26, jesus calls out to the religious people. He says blind Pharisee, first clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean. Think about this for a minute. How often have we tried to quote clean the outside of the cup?

Speaker 1: 14:45

We've tried to fix the cup we might knuckle our way into a behavior change of some sort, some new diet, a new workout plan, a new food rule, but what remains absolutely unchanged is the inside of the cup, is our heart.

Speaker 2: 15:03

Yeah, yes, yes. But if the inside, which you know, is our thoughts and our beliefs and our fears, if the inside hasn't changed, we end up right back where we started. And I know, heidi, you and I have experienced that a bazillion times oh my gosh, I'm right back here again. I can't believe it. After all of that, after all that work and challenge and struggle and that's why our ministry focuses so much on the renewing of the mind. Romans 12, too, tells us do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Be transformed by the renewing of your mind, and that's where the real change happens, not just at the table or on the scale, but in our minds.

Speaker 1: 15:59

That's where it begins? It begins in our thoughts. Well, let's continue to be practical here. Our brains are not just emotional, they are biological. Anyway, the part of your brain that's responsible for survival, the amygdala, learns quickly and reacts fast. So when you restrict food or step away from your usual pattern, your nervous system panics.

Speaker 2: 16:24

Yes, it panics and it says danger, even if you're making a healthy change, your body isn't sure yet, and that's why old patterns can feel safer, even if they're destructive, oh okay. Well, here's the good news Just like those old neural pathways were built, new ones can be built too, and this wasn't something that was known for a really long, long time. So we have all this new hope that's even rooted in science. Now, that's what mind renewal is literally creating a new way of thinking, a new way of living. Yay, that is so hopeful, isn't it? It is, it's like yes, and science is finally catching up to what God's been talking about in the Bible all along, all along.

Speaker 2: 18:19

Yeah, so for so many of us, we were taught, sometimes subtly, sometimes directly oh and this just grieves me to say it, but this is so true we're not lovable unless we look a certain way. Oh my gosh, it's horrible really when you think of it. Maybe your mom made comments, or another family member. Maybe the church made it sound like thinness was next to godliness. That happens with a lot of people. Maybe it was just the culture and it seeped in and you took a hold of it. You bought the lie.

Speaker 1: 18:57

It's interesting. Yesterday I got to spend some time with my son and we ran different errands and he was just talking he doesn't often just visit with me about something, but he was talking about he streams a game that he plays and he's got followers on YouTube and dah, dah, dah dah. I don't really get it all, but anyway, he said he's noticed that when he uses a profile picture that, um, he has touched up and you can't see the acne scars um from his upbringing that he gets more clicks and more responses.

Speaker 1: 19:35

And you know this. I told him. I said I can relate. I have been thin and fit and I have been morbidly obese I've been everything in between and I have been treated differently, depending upon my size, at least. I don't know what else to attribute it to, because everything else stays the same. So you know, it's true, we feel we're not lovable unless we look a certain way, but sometimes it's because of the way others have treated us and we. It's real, it's. The problem is real, the heartache is real, and the lies that go along with it. They go so deep. They do, they do.

Speaker 1: 20:13

And this is again where the scriptures have such beautiful ways of encouraging our hearts. Zephaniah 317, of course, says the Lord, your God, is with you. He's the mighty warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you, in his love. He will no longer rebuke you but will rejoice over you with singing Our God friend, he is not ashamed of you, he's not ashamed of me. He rejoices over you right now, just as you are. Yes, your body is not a barrier to God's love, and your peace with food does not determine your worth. Oh, thank God.

Speaker 2: 20:59

Why hasn't anyone told us this before? I know right.

Speaker 1: 21:05

I love it. Okay, so now we've explored some of the why, let's do a full shift to the hope part. Yes, it's been hard.

Speaker 2: 21:13

Yes.

Speaker 1: 21:14

It's taken years. Yes, and it feels like the locusts have done a lot of eating.

Speaker 2: 21:19

Yes, we want the years back. It's like whoa, it's been my whole life.

Speaker 1: 21:24

For many of us, yeah, but here's the really good news you are not stuck. The enemy wants us to think we're stuck. We're not stuck, you haven't wasted a bunch of time. That's a lie too, because God will waste nothing.

Speaker 1: 21:40

And so if you feel like, oh, I wish I could have done this years and years ago, okay, that's great to wish that, but don't let it hang you up, because God isn't bound in any way or form by the fact that we're just getting it now. You can build new thoughts now. You can renew your mind now. You can rewire your neural pathways now, and you can do it one moment at a time. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

Speaker 2: 22:12

Yes, and we have seen this again and again and again in the people that come to our community, in ourselves. We have seen this. This really is happening. This is God's design, and it's not just food and eating, it's really anything, anything. Yeah, god's design, and it's not just food and eating, it's really anything, anything that is challenging you. But we are focusing on food and eating at this time, certainly, and for so many of us, that's been our issue for so long. Okay, so it starts small, so don't get overwhelmed. You know it starts small and it starts with gratitude. First Thessalonians 5.18 says give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. Gratitude, gratitude is amazing. Gratitude is one of the fastest ways to calm the nervous system and shift your thinking, and it's something that God tells us to do all over his word Give thanks, give thanks, give thanks because he knows that it will feel so good for us and it turns our hearts around, away from ourselves and toward him.

Speaker 1: 23:32

Yeah, it's so interesting. Summer before last I did a lot of research on gratitude in preparation for our month long theme.

Speaker 2: 23:41

Yes, which I loved.

Speaker 1: 23:43

Yeah, we did it last August as well, and we'll probably do it this coming August.

Speaker 1: 23:47

So if you're interested in a month of focus? Yeah, join us for that. But anyway, it's so interesting. So much of the research and what it indicates about how our nervous systems respond to gratitude. It is so cool. We were wired by God to give him praise and thanks and give gratitude, and so it makes sense that our bodies would respond really well to it physiologically. I love that. You know, another way that we can rewire neural pathways is through community. I know that sounds kind of crazy, but being with others who believe truth, who speak life, who remind you of who you really are, that is one of the most vital things we could possibly do.

Speaker 2: 24:35

Yes, it is.

Speaker 1: 24:37

With people who you know get it, they get it and they know that we're not stuck and they know Jesus is the answer for us. And, to be honest with you, that's kind of what we've been creating in our new course.

Speaker 2: 24:50

Yes, I'm going to do a little bit of transforming grace, discovering peaceful eating.

Speaker 1: 24:55

It's not just going to be a class, though. I really believe it's going to be so much more than that. It starts June 2nd and it's a gathering of people who are learning to walk in truth and we believe together that freedom is possible.

Speaker 2: 25:11

I just got my book.

Speaker 1: 25:14

Yes, there's a workbook available on Amazon, so if you're interested in learning more, navigate your browser to teamlifeisgoodcom. Forward slash rest because, that's what we're doing when it comes to this whole topic of food eating, body image. Blah the Lord, yes. Second Corinthians 318 says and we all are being transformed into his image with ever increasing glory. I love this. This is clearly a process. We can be transformed, it's ongoing and he's the one doing the transforming.

Speaker 2: 25:52

Yeah, you know what I'm going to throw in a little story here. I've been thinking so much about the girls that have been living in our house for a year One of them is my daughter and two are her best friends, and they recently moved out, but just a few weeks ago they had kind of this try on clothes party and kind of like a dress up party. They have thrown their entire wardrobes together in one, which is so much fun, and it's not they're not all the same size or body shape, but a lot of the clothes work, and so I just had so much fun watching them, watching them put outfits together and try on things. But this is what I really, really loved.

Speaker 2: 26:41

I loved the way they were talking to each other and I loved the way they were encouraging each other. Oh, you look slay and they have this whole nother language, which is so, so fun. You know they're all 19, but the way they were talking to each other, basically in their own language, they were saying you are beautiful, you are amazing, you look so good. This is so fun, like they were enjoying, and to me that is so foreign. It is so foreign and so different from my own experience at 19.

Speaker 2: 27:21

And I'm fascinated by it and I love to see the peace and the joy that they feel when they're together. It's not like with other. You know, it's their besties for sure, and how fun it is for them to just enjoy their bodies Like this is just, it's just normal for them and I just I love that and I thought this, that is it. That is a body image that really shines God's love, god's peace. Do they have perfect bodies? No, not by Hollywood standards or whatever, and they're not all shaped the same, not at all. But they are beautiful, all of them, just beautiful, and it's inspiring to me really, I love to see the way they talk to each other and share experiences like that. So I just wanted to share that because I just thought, oh my gosh, I just love what's happening with these girls. So Jesus is walking with us in this long and often painful journey. We're not alone in this. He is with us every step. He sees every neural pathway, every fear, every lie. We've believed, oh, so many lies, and yet he calls us by name, he rejoices over us, he invites us to be transformed, not by pressure, not by pressure, but by his love. Oh, that's good news, isn't that good news? Jesus gives us grace for the process. He gives us eyes to see, hope and helps us to keep renewing our minds, one thought at a time. I love that. I love how hopeful that is.

Speaker 2: 29:12

We would love to encourage you now, here as we close. We'd love to encourage you to go to the Lord. Invite him into this, invite him into your food, eating, body, image, all of it. Invite him into the confusion, the pain, everything that you have struggled with for so long, and dream with him for a few minutes. What would it look like to be a peaceful eater? What would it look like to be at peace with your body, to be comfortable in your own skin? What would that look like? And I don't mean perfectly by any means, but dream with the Lord a little bit, because it's possible. It's absolutely possible, and we're going to be talking more about that, and we would love to invite you to our next episode of Revelation Within On the go. We'll see you next time. Thanks for joining us. Bye.