Speaker 1: 0:01

Hi and welcome to our podcast Revelation Within On the Go. I'm Heidi Bilesma-Epperson, one of your hosts and the owner and lead coach of the RevelationWithinorg ministry.

Speaker 2: 0:14

And I'm Christina Motley, your other host, also a Revelation Within coach and Heidi's partner in all things Revelation Within. We are so happy to invite you to join us for this episode of Revelation Within on the go.

Speaker 1: 0:36

Come on in, Sit right down. Well, today we are beginning a three-part series. That well, we've got a couple names for it, but the short one because, you know me, I like the whole name. I guess the short name is the Real Thing. Oh, I love that, the Real Thing. What is the Real Thing? We're going?

Speaker 2: 0:56

to find out.

Speaker 1: 0:57

We're going to find out. We're going to unpack it over the next three episodes and in this first episode we're going to look at a quiet lie so many of us have believed. Ooh, let's dig in, right?

Speaker 2: 1:11

away. Let's get straight to it.

Speaker 1: 1:22

Goodness, a quiet lie, okay, okay, let's another way we put it. Yes, manage our sin, manage our cravings, manage our life, manage our marriage, manage our kids, manage our schedule. Manage, yes, that's the best we can do.

Speaker 2: 1:41

Kind of like fake it till you, make it.

Speaker 1: 1:43

Yes, Exactly Moon, though.

Speaker 2: 1:47

Kind of like survival mode. I hear people say that sometimes I'm in survival mode. You've never said that. I've said it, have I said that About a million times? Okay, okay, so we'll wrap our brains around that. But what God is inviting us into is something so much better. I mean, what if he is? What if that's really true? What if the abundant life that he talks about in his word is not just managing? What if freedom isn't about control but about connection?

Speaker 1: 2:29

isn't about control, but about connection.

Speaker 2: 2:30

I'm going to just take a minute to pray for our time together.

Speaker 1: 2:32

Okay, jesus, you already know the places where we've settled for small stories. God, those are the places where we clench our fists and call it obedience. Oh, how I've been guilty of that so many times. Lord, would you help us see what you're really inviting us into today? Help us unclench, help us to trust and help us to open in Jesus' name, amen.

Speaker 2: 2:59

Amen. Okay. So Heidi, you and I have both lived in seasons where life with God has felt like a list, an exhausting attempt to just keep ourselves in check, to do better, to pull ourselves up, to get with the program, to manage the mess. We have both experienced that many, many times. You could even call us experts, I think.

Speaker 1: 3:29

Oh yes, I've had multiple binders going at once. This is the one for my quiet time, which tells me how to have a good quiet time, and then there's the one that what are all the chores I have to do today? What are the things on my schedule? And another note oh my gosh. I used to believe and live as though if I could just find the right plan, the right program for my prayers, my quiet times, whatever, I could live in freedom.

Speaker 1: 3:56

Oh, my goodness but obviously I was just really managing myself like a problem to fix, not a person God loves. My perspective on life and on the life God had given me was that I was too big of a mess to do it right.

Speaker 2: 4:15

So I better go into fix it mode. Yes, well, and did those boxes ever all get checked in one?

Speaker 1: 4:22

day. I think I know somebody who makes her boxes at the end of the day.

Speaker 2: 4:27

Yes, well, that's kind of a shift that I had over the years, for sure, but we do, we get stuck. We get stuck in trying to check off all the boxes, trying to figure it all out, trying to make it happen in a way that's better. I hear people, and myself saying things like well, this week was bananas, but next week is going to be so much better, and it's like is it though? Oh, I hope you don't say that. No, just in terms of, are we kind of creating a mindset that says if life isn't crazy, we're not doing enough?

Speaker 1: 5:07

Oh I know, Isn't that the truth? And then, what kind of adds insult to injury is? We have set up our own form of righteousness, sort of. It's like a form of godliness, but devoid of the power, like it says in the scriptures. And I'm thinking all my charts and lists and graphs and checkboxes and all of that. That is not what God had in mind for me, and he probably doesn't have it in mind. I mean, there's nothing wrong with being organized, don't misunderstand me, but it was for me.

Speaker 1: 5:34

I had had a God honoring day if I had checked my boxes off Right, A productive day right. I had a friend that at the end of each day his question was well, heidi, did you have a productive day?

Speaker 2: 5:52

I know. But I mean, how many of us get together with our girlfriends or you know, and say, well, how was your day? Well, my day, oh my gosh, you wouldn't believe how crazy my day was. And then you go down the list and then the other person says, yeah, but you don't have this going on. I've got this and this and this and you should hear about my day. Yeah, but my, and we get into a comparison game and it's like you know, it's like I said if we're not feeling crazy, stressed, chaotic said if we're not feeling crazy, stressed, chaotic, it's almost like we feel like we're doing something wrong, right, right.

Speaker 2: 6:29

Managing actually feels in the moment kind of like control. It feels like we're in control because we have all the books and the binders and the checklists and the to-do lists and the plans and the accountability partners all of that right and the plans and the accountability partners, all of that right. But control feels safer than surrender. Wait, say that again. Okay, control often feels well, it just does it feels safer in the moment than surrender.

Speaker 1: 7:00

Yeah, that's an intense phrase. It is, it is.

Speaker 2: 7:04

It really is. It's like, oh wow, that makes me intense phrase.

Speaker 1: 7:07

It is, it is, it really is. It's like, oh wow, that makes me want to just stop, because I can cling to it and then I am in control of it. Surrender is something else entirely, and it's scary.

Speaker 2: 7:17

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 7:18

Yes, john 10.10 says that this is Jesus, of course speaking, the thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I have come that they may have life and have it to the full. When I think of life to the full, I do not think of lists and binders and check boxes at all. And yet that's yeah, that's the direction I tend to go. Even recently, I pulled out a binder and said I will use this for my blah blah blah Binders, but not for blah blah blah. Anyway, jesus didn't say I have come, that they may manage their impulses, reject their cravings or whatever else. He said I have come and of course that implies he's come to earth. He's come to die on the cross and be raised from the grave so that we could have life to the full. That is not just making it or just managing. That's not the real thing. That is not just making it or just managing. That's not the real thing.

Speaker 1: 8:29

And I want to do a little Greek geeking out here for a moment. The word translated full or abundant in many translations is the Greek word perissos or perissos, the root meaning. You might need to know that someday, the root meaning you might need to know that someday, the root meaning is exceeding beyond the expected, more than enough. That is the kind of life he came to give us, and so what it means in this context that Greek word perisos is an intensifier. It means something superior in quality and excessive in quantity. Wow.

Speaker 1: 9:10

Yes, it doesn't just imply plenty in a material sense, but overflow in every sense, overflow of joy, of peace, overflow of love, of purpose, of connection, flow of love of purpose, of connection.

Speaker 2: 9:26

Wow, wow, yeah, wow. What about running faster? What about doing more? What about that long, long list? What about striving, working harder? That's not why Jesus came. Well, I just love what you just said, heidi. I love that you're bringing up this amazing question. It's like why did Jesus come and what does he long for us? So let's get deeper into it. I'm loving this, oh good, good, good.

Speaker 1: 9:57

Well, when he says he came to give us life to the full, he's not talking about busy, successful or believe it or not and I know somebody needs to hear this, maybe even me as well Pain-free life. He didn't come to give us those things. He came to give us life to the full. And and the thing is, some of us may have our own little definitions about what life to the full would look like, but he's talking about abundant presence, his abundant presence, his vision, his promises, his everything that we need in him. And he's talking about deep soul satisfaction, eternal richness. And it starts now, not once we die.

Speaker 2: 10:45

That sounds really, really good. Maybe somebody is running right now while they're listening to this, or they're in their car and they're rushing, rushing and racing and striving, and whatever it is. I need to hear this. Maybe somebody out there needs this too. I know they do?

Speaker 1: 11:05

Yeah, definitely. Well, this kind of abundance that Jesus has promised to give us doesn't depend on circumstances. The children can still be sick, or somebody can be late to my appointment or whatever it doesn't require performance and it absolutely can't be measured by the world's standards.

Speaker 1: 11:29

I mean, and that's just it is. We get swept up in what this world says is successful life, but that is that the abundant life Jesus came to give us. No, jesus has come to give us the abundant life, and it's not a just enough life. It's not getting by, it's not making it. It's instead overflowing, surprising, soul-quenching, deep-rooted shalom life.

Speaker 2: 11:59

Yes, yes, oh, that sounds so good. So I mean, life is busy and crazy for many of us in different seasons, right? So this isn't dependent on that. It's not like, well, next month is going to be, you know, much slower for me. It's not about that, it's about something deep down inside and in our relationship with Christ. I love that yeah me too.

Speaker 1: 12:25

Okay.

Speaker 2: 12:26

Let's go to Romans eight, one and two. Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Speaker 1: 12:35

Pause for a moment. Hallelujah, lord.

Speaker 2: 12:37

Thank you, yes, oh my gosh, this is true for all of us. There is no condemnation for those of us who are in Christ Jesus, for the law of the spirit of life has set you free, in Christ Jesus, from the law of sin, and death. Good news we have been set free. I mean, how many of us actually feel free? It's tricky, right. It's like what is?

Speaker 2: 13:05

freedom. So let's dig in a little deeper. That phrase set you free comes from the Greek word elutherou, which means not just released from bondage, but released into something new. That is so amazing. I mean, really, this isn't sin management that we're talking about, it's life with God, life in the spirit, right? So maybe the real question is what am I living from right now? From, not, for what am I living from? Am I living from fear, no, from pressure, or am I living from the spirit of God? Big question there.

Speaker 1: 13:54

Oh, my goodness, I have another true confession, and this goes way back in time to the late 1990s and my quest to be free of baby fat after I had my kids I'm sorry I'm bringing it up, I know had my kids I'm sorry I'm bringing it up, I know, but anyway I decided after and this was before I had any exposure to thin within at all or what we do today in revelation within, of course I committed to weight watchers.

Speaker 1: 14:25

Yes, you did, you sure did, I did, and I was really good at it too, cause it had the boxes and the check marks and the stars and the balloons and the celebration of the meeting. I loved it. I clung so tightly to my food boundaries I was afraid to mess up and besides that, I was convinced that this was my way to honor God with my eating. I was very successful from the world's perspective, but underneath that was a huge lack of peace, because the fear drove me. I was like hugging that scale and the number that was on it and I didn't want to let go or ever look again because I was afraid it would change.

Speaker 1: 15:12

I had lost a ton of weight, whatever, but I was managing my behavior and I would have told you I was praying about it and talking about it to the Lord and to others, but I don't think I ever really brought my heart to Jesus over it. Instead, that death grip that I had on the bathroom scale caused just such fear in me. I had an accountability partner, of course, who said you've got to hand me the scale because it's going on right now. Yeah, and again, if you had asked me, I would have told you I was honoring the Lord with my eating and fitness endeavors. It's interesting to me because I know so many people feel that way, and then we look back later and we go oh wow.

Speaker 2: 16:00

That's so true, that's so real. Yes.

Speaker 1: 16:03

The Lord convicted me, though, of this, and so clearly it's like he said to me I'm not asking you to manage yourself, I'm asking you to walk with me. Let go of the death grip, girl. Keep your eyes on me and follow me. Let me love you as you are and as I love you into who you will be and who you are becoming and who you are becoming.

Speaker 2: 16:30

Oh my gosh, heidi, that is such an amazing story and it's not. It's not even that there's something so wrong with what you were trying to do. I mean it wasn't. You thought you were doing the right thing. You thought this is what I'm called to to strive and run faster and work harder and become this amazing quote, unquote you know which the world would say amazing. So that makes sense. I mean, I can totally relate to that, although while you were getting all the balloons and accolades, I was like throwing the brochure back in the trash and giving up again. Okay, so a story for me that I would love to share. That was just, oh my gosh, so so tough A time when I was trying to do it myself.

Speaker 2: 17:21

You know, some of you know that my mom had Alzheimer's disease and we had a 10 year journey with her and my dad and she is in heaven now with a brand new brain and doing great.

Speaker 2: 17:34

But there was a time in the story with my mom and dad where my mom did not know who I was anymore and I was crushed. I was just completely crushed and I had to grieve that she would see me coming and she would know that I was special and important to her in some way and she would smile and say hello, like I was visiting a visiting friend. But I knew that she could not, in her brain, figure out how I came into her story. You know, with Alzheimer's disease you go backward in memories, and so she had gone backward to the point where she didn't remember having children and she was dating my dad, which was actually really sweet and fun. But it wasn't fun when she couldn't figure out who I was. And so I remember feeling like this is a problem to fix. What am I going to do? I'm going to show her photo albums, I'm going to bring this, I'm going to plan this, I'm going to figure out a way to help her remember who I am.

Speaker 2: 18:42

Oh, that sounds so hard, I mean talk about striving, talk about running fast, running fast. Talk about working against a disease that was taking my mom's brain away and I was getting nowhere fast. I mean, I would bring things I would share stories, talk about. When I was young I tried so hard.

Speaker 2: 19:07

Yeah, you did and every time I showed up again at the Alzheimer's center, I had to start over every single time. You know, like Groundhog Day, that movie, that old movie. I could not move forward. I was stuck in the same place, visit after visit, and then I took it to God, talked with him about it and I had no idea what he was going to do. And he did the most amazing thing, just something so creative and God-like, something that I would never have figured out on my own.

Speaker 2: 19:43

Several visits later, even maybe a month later, I don't remember my mom. In her mind, in her brain, she gave me a role that she could understand in her life and she turned me into her best friend in high school. And it was a real person, and I didn't even know if she was alive. It was, you know, from her experience in Germany. And she gave me a name, and my name was Erica, and she told me all about who I was, what I did well, all the fun that they had, and I became her best friend for the last two years of her life, that's so sweet.

Speaker 2: 20:22

It's just amazing, isn't that so amazing? How God did that? And at first, yes, I grieved, not really being her daughter anymore. I mean, certainly I was. But you know, I would walk in and the nurse would say oh, silke, your daughter's here and I would say you know, I'm Erica, I'm here to visit you. And I took on the role and it was wonderful because she was so sad that she couldn't remember. If somebody said to her don't you remember? Oh yeah.

Speaker 2: 20:53

Oh it would just tear her up. It made her feel so sad. And so to be able to replace my role with a best friend, that was almost better, because my mom and I had not really been friends not really. I had not really been friends, not really. We had a tough relationship, and so it was just an amazing gift. God said, christina, you don't have to do this alone, I'm not worried, I already have a plan. And he did, and then I was able to let go and really enjoy having a best friend and my mom for two years before she passed years, you could stop driving.

Speaker 1: 21:32

Oh my gosh, that would make those visits filled with so much pressure. Yes, what magic concoction can I come up with between photo albums and stories and items from her you know, home or past or whatever? Yeah, that would be just really tough.

Speaker 2: 21:50

Thank, you for sharing. I'm so thankful that God took over and I I let him, yeah. So one of the things that Heidi and I both love to do to help us with the letting go, to help us with resting in him in these, these moments, is breath prayers. So we have a breath prayer that we'd love to introduce to you and, of course, breath prayers are so simple. It's just breathing in and out and adding in truth, from the word of God, whether it's a scripture or truth, that lines up with the word, and that's all it is. It's so simple and beautiful and it calms us down physically while feeding our souls and our minds. Basically, so go ahead and breathe in with me, let's take a deep breath and let's say together I was made for more. Breathe out then managing. So I was made for more than managing. Let's do it again Breathe in, I was made for more. Breathe out, then managing. One more time Breathe in, I was made for more.

Speaker 2: 23:20

Breathe out Than managing. And then we have one more for you. This one is also very beautiful. Breathe in and say you offer me life.

Speaker 1: 23:37

You offer me life.

Speaker 2: 23:39

Breathe out to the full, to the full, breathe in. You are from life to the full. Yay, thank you for doing that. That was awesome.

Speaker 1: 24:10

Well, when we're managing perhaps you could see this by Christina's story or my story we're often holding really tight really tight white knuckling our way through.

Speaker 2: 24:24

Yes, but you know, living with Jesus, that is open hands, it's being interruptible. It's being interruptible. I know allowing the interruptions that are somehow ordained by God. Welcoming them, welcoming. Welcoming them welcoming interruptions, being teachable, being open, reachable, resting in the truth that he is the shepherd and we're not.

Speaker 1: 24:53

That's kind of a relief when you think about it.

Speaker 2: 24:55

I don't have to, you don't have to figure out your mom.

Speaker 1: 24:58

He had it figured out he had it.

Speaker 1: 25:01

Galatians 5.1 says it is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. And really that's the thing managing. On the outside we may feel like it looks really good and like I've got this thing figured out, I've got it wired, I've got my act together, but really, inside, so very often managing can feel like bondage, like we are chains, and then Jesus, of course, says let me carry that, let me carry this, bring it to me.

Speaker 2: 25:37

Yeah, managing for me. It brings me to a place of overwhelm which sometimes just stops me completely. Like I'm paralyzed by it.

Speaker 1: 25:46

Me too.

Speaker 2: 25:47

So Psalm 32, eight is a beautiful gentle promise. A beautiful gentle promise I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go. I will counsel you with my loving eye on you. Oh, my goodness, he's not handing us a spreadsheet and saying get it together. He's saying walk with me, I've already got it, I've got you, I've got everything. Just walk with me, just walk with me.

Speaker 1: 26:20

Maybe somebody is listening to this, saying but how do I do that? What does it actually look like? And you know the way I have to think of it is. It's not about a quiet time, it's not about more quiet times. It's not about opening the Bible more. It's about recognizing that each moment I can touch the hem of Jesus's garment, he is there. I can experience his power flowing into me. Like the woman who had the issue of blood, she reached for him in that moment and he is with us constantly.

Speaker 1: 26:54

And really I'd say, jesus, where are you right now? You're with me, but where are we going? What do you want me to do right now? Is this what you're calling me to right now? And if we don't think we hear anything, you know what? That's okay. He takes that load and that responsibility and as long as we're asking the question, jesus, please lead me. He will do it. He will do it one way or the other and sometimes, if we don't think we hear him, it often means I'm right here with you. Just keep doing what you're doing, right?

Speaker 2: 27:30

Yes, oh, I love that I do too.

Speaker 1: 27:32

I am so glad you know. It's funny. It just popped into my head just now and I don't know if I've mentioned in a long time, so I'm going to mention it now that my great grandfather wrote the words to he leadeth me, which is a hymn that has been known in the Christian church for ages.

Speaker 2: 27:50

It is.

Speaker 1: 27:52

He leadetheth me. O blessed thought. I don't know the rest of the word, but I mean he does. He is right there. Anyway, friend, where have you been trying to manage your life, your way to freedom? Is it with food, eating and weight, like it was for me in that story I shared, and that's not the only realm where I do that. Maybe it's with shopping less, like having a budget and there's nothing wrong with having a budget, but we want to walk with Jesus. We want to recognize he's God, not the budget. Is it what you read or watch? Is there like the struggle to pursue things that aren't as holy as you might want them to be? Maybe it's time spent on social media. I tell you what. That's where the comparison game goes.

Speaker 2: 28:40

Yes, many of us.

Speaker 1: 28:42

Where are your fists? Clenched, like I'm going to do this, I'm going to do it well and nobody's going to ever be able to find fault with me. Maybe you don't have that last part, but what would it look like to open your hands today? You know, clenched. That's, exhausting, that's exhausting. Yes, open hands Freedom.

Speaker 2: 29:09

And that takes us back to that surrender that we talked about at the very, very beginning opening our hands, surrendering. So we have a few gentle ways here that you can respond to this episode, something practical that you can take with you. The first one is just to ask the Lord. Invite God in and just ask him. Lord, where am I managing instead of trusting? Where is it in my life? Show me where it is, open my eyes to it. That's the first one. The second one is a pause. Place your hands palm up in your lap, breathe deeply and whisper. I open to you. I open to you. Just spend that time in stillness with him. And then the third one is maybe, maybe you want to do some journaling, or maybe this would be a conversation that you have with the Lord. What would life to the full look like for me this summer, coming right up in these next few months? What would life to the full look like?

Speaker 1: 30:25

Good stuff, good stuff. You know, you and I and Christina, we were never asked to manage our way to peace. You know, we were never asked to manage our way to peace. We were invited by the God of the universe to step into relationship with him, and that relationship is what brings real freedom, real joy, real rest, real peace, real goodness. We can go on and on, and that is what we want to offer ourselves to, and it is a big act of surrender.

Speaker 2: 30:56

And it does. It feels like to me that the whole world is exhausted right now. Does it feel like that to you? Yes, the whole world, it feels like.

Speaker 1: 31:04

So if something in this episode stirred your heart, if you felt a nudge or a longing for more, we would love to invite you to join us in our private online community it's a space where we kind of practice all of this together, not perfectly of course, but honestly, with grace, scripture and a lot of jesus, and you can try it for free for a month, if your heart said yes, even a little bit.

Speaker 2: 31:30

Maybe that's the spirit's invitation just come and be with us for a while. You can get the details by visiting wwwrevelationwithinorg.

Speaker 1: 31:41

Yay, jesus, we are so done with white knuckling our way through life. You never asked us to be our own savior. Thank you, lord, thank you that you did not ask me to do that. Thank you, lord, for being our shepherd, for offering us more than managing abundant life. We want to say yes to that, yes to life with you, full, free and real. Thank you, lord, amen.

Speaker 2: 32:12

Amen. So we'll be back soon with episode two. The danger of almost a conversation about why the things we reach for don't actually satisfy and how Jesus offers us the real thing.

Speaker 1: 32:28

Until then, unclench your fists, open your hands and remember you were made for more than managing.

Speaker 2: 32:39

Join us for our next episode of Revelation Within on the show.

Speaker 1: 32:50

We'll see you then. Bye, for now Bye.