Speaker 1: 0:01

Hi and welcome to our podcast Revelation Within On the Go. I'm Heidi Biles-Mapperson, your host and the owner and lead coach of the Revelation Withinorg ministry.

Speaker 2: 0:15

Hello hello, and I'm Christina Motley, and I am your other host and also a Revelation Within coach and Heidi's partner in all things Revelation Within, and we are so happy to invite you to join us for this episode of Revelation Within. We are happy to be here, so happy to be here with you, heidi. Yeah, I'm happy to be here. So happy to be here with you, heidi. Yeah, I'm happy to be here with you and with all of you out there.

Speaker 1: 0:52

Well, today, christine and I are diving into our second episode of four in our Shame to Shalom series. In this episode, we're talking about some of the shame soaked labels that we carry. That sounds awful, I know, right, those whispers of too much or she's not enough, and how to gently replace them, but decisively I want to say that decisively replaced with what God actually says. And we're also going to learn what it means to respond ourselves with curiosity instead of criticism.

Speaker 2: 1:32

That sounds good to me. That sounds good I love that idea.

Speaker 1: 1:37

Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and pray real quick right now. Okay, jesus, thank you that you don't look away from our shame. You sit with us in it. Speak to us now. We pray. We give you every label, every lie, every harsh word that we've internalized. Let your truth rewrite our hearts In your name, jesus, amen.

Speaker 2: 2:01

That's beautiful, heidi. Yay, okay, well, let's go ahead and jump in. You ready to jump in, Jumping in One, two, three, okay. So have you ever been told or maybe you've told yourself that you're too much? You're just too much? Oh, my gosh, you're too much. I'm too much, too emotional, too needy, too loud I've been told I'm too loud, I don't get it.

Speaker 2: 2:35

Or maybe you've been told that you're not enough, or maybe you've told yourself that, or maybe you've told yourself that Not spiritual enough, not thin enough, not lovable oh, my goodness, that's so sad. That just like breaks my heart to think about that. But these are not neutral phrases. Obviously. They are shame-based labels and lies. And you know what? They did not come from God. None of them, not anything like that. He would never, ever say anything like that about his beloved. So, and that's what we are. We're his beloved.

Speaker 1: 3:16

Right, and you know what? Last week we talked about the beginning of time, when shame entered the world, in Genesis 3.8 and 3.10, where Adam was hiding from God. Adam and Eve were hiding from God, and so we pick up there in this episode as well. God has a great question that he asks Adam and Eve. Christina, why don't you tell us what Genesis 3.11 tells us? Yes, Okay.

Speaker 2: 3:42

So in Genesis 3.11, god asks Adam and Eve who told you that you were naked? Who told you? Who told you? You didn't know before, it didn't bother you before, what happened? Where did the shame come from? Basically, it's one of the most tender and powerful questions in scripture, don't you think?

Speaker 1: 4:09

I do definitely yeah.

Speaker 2: 4:11

So he's still asking who told you that you're too much? Who told you that you're not enough? Who told me I was too loud, it was too loud. Who told you who was that? Where did it come from? Where did that shame begin? Because it wasn't from God. It wasn't from God. It wasn't God that told you that.

Speaker 1: 4:38

No, in fact he has a lot of other things to say. Ephesians 2.10, one of my favorite verses in all of scripture. It tells us we are his workmanship, and that word workmanship is actually poema, and it means poem.

Speaker 2: 4:55

You are.

Speaker 1: 4:56

God's poem. You are not a mistake to be corrected. You are a masterpiece in process. A masterpiece is defined by the fact that it was made by a master, not how good you are at anything or how good you look or whatever. It's the master that determines whether something is a masterpiece. So God's not asking us to fix ourselves to earn his love or anybody else's love. No, he's asking us get this. He's asking us to receive the truth. Not to fix ourselves, but to receive the truth that we are already loved Wow.

Speaker 2: 5:36

That is amazing, amazing, it is it is let's take a deep breath now.

Speaker 1: 5:41

We're going to go a little deeper here and bring it home a little bit. So if you can have something you can write on and write with, and we're going to I'm going to take another deep breath here because I need to do this too. Even the too loud thing. It's so funny I'm joking about it. Now, you know who told me I was too loud? I can tell you a list of people who told me I was too loud and there's shame that comes up with that. Yeah, of course I mean. It's so interesting, I know, and it's strong, it is. So I want you to think for a moment.

Speaker 1: 6:20

Write down or speak aloud if you want. I don't know about that, but anyway, write down or speak aloud if you want. I don't know about that, but anyway, so we can do that. But write down one or two shame labels that you have believed about yourself. Just do that real quick. And, lord, I'm going to just ask you what are the shame labels you want me to refer to for this exercise, cause I know what I might come up with, but you might come up with ones that are much more deep. I mean, you're telling me they're lies, I know that. But what are some of those labels, those shame labels that I've believed, that that the listeners have believed, okay. So now, lord, we want to know what do you have to say about those labels? What do you say about that, lord?

Speaker 1: 7:10

Yeah, so for let's, just by way of example and these all come as we ask the Lord, his thoughts too emotional. That's not his thought, his thought is Psalm 56, verse 8, says he collects my tears. He makes me tender hearted. I cry a lot. I'm not too emotional, I'm tender hearted. Another one example might be I'm not attractive enough, and yet in Genesis 127, I'm told I'm made in God's image. That's beautiful, because God is beautiful, yes, he is. Another one that I might say about myself that brings about shame and it's a lie is I'm not disciplined enough. But he says that his grace is sufficient. His strength is made perfect in my weakness. That's from 2 Corinthians 12, 9. These are beautiful truths that God says in response to the lies I tend to gravitate towards.

Speaker 2: 8:15

That really just heap shame on me, yeah definitely, and we all struggle with this, we all struggle with this. Let's go ahead and try a breath prayer, something you can take with you into your day, into your week and kind of breathe through this truth.

Speaker 2: 8:33

So we're going to inhale and we're going to say I am your workmanship. And then we're going to exhale and say and I am fully loved. Going to exhale and say, and I am fully loved Again breath. Prayers are just a way to renew our minds and also put it together with breathing so it calms our bodies and reminds us what is true in our minds and our hearts. It's a beautiful, powerful way to really anchor into what is true, especially if you're anxious or having some of these thoughts that Heidi just mentioned. So let's do it together. Let's go ahead and breathe in I am your workmanship. I am your workmanship. Breathe out, and I am fully loved.

Speaker 1: 9:24

And I am fully loved.

Speaker 2: 9:28

Again. Breathe in. I am your workmanship. I am your workmanship. Breathe out, and I am fully loved.

Speaker 1: 9:40

And I am fully loved and I am fully loved.

Speaker 2: 9:43

Yay, wow. Imagine just just doing that once a day, you know even, or twice a day, or when you pass by the mirror and your thoughts are going all sideways and backwards into old lies. Imagine just stopping for a minute and breathing through these truths. Here's another breath prayer. We're going to breathe in and say I am not too much, and we're going to breathe out and say, and I'm not not enough. Okay, let's go ahead and do that one together. Breathe in, I am not too much, breathe out and.

Speaker 2: 10:28

I am not not enough, and one more time Breathe in, I am not too much. Breathe out and I'm not, not not.

Speaker 2: 10:51

Okay, going on. Now let's talk about what we do after we mess up. We often go into self-judgment. We say, oh my gosh, I'm such a mess, what's wrong with me, why can't I get it together? I've done this a million times. What is it? Oh, I'll never get it. But those aren't Jesus's questions. Jesus definitely asks a lot of questions in his word. He's like a question guy. He loves asking. He likes to respond to questions with questions. But those are not his questions. Jesus shows us another way in John 8. A woman caught in sin is thrown at his feet. Maybe you know this story or maybe you want to look it up later. The crowd wants condemnation, but Jesus actually kneels. He gets down on his knees in the dirt and then he draws or writes something in the dirt. We don't know what it is. He silences her accusers and he says so. This is such an amazing example of who God is. This is such a beautiful example of truth without shame, and correction, without contempt.

Speaker 1: 12:19

Beautiful Romans 8.1 says there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, and this word, condemnation, katakrima, means a judicial sentence. Paul says there's no verdict of guilt over you anymore. You're no longer on trial. Wow, wow. So we want to take this and run with it, because this is a, this is such a gift that our God has sent Jesus into the world not to condemn the world, but that the world would be saved through him. And that's us. We too are saved through him. There is no condemnation for us. Wow, there's no verdict of guilt, we're no longer on trial.

Speaker 1: 13:06

So what do I do with failures, with mess ups, with stumbles, with my sin even? And we just looked at the woman caught in sin and we saw how Jesus handled that. Think of a moment this week. How about when you feel like you blew it? It might be that you blew it with your words towards somebody, maybe towards yourself, maybe condemnation towards yourself, when you looked in the mirror, since we've talked about that. Or maybe something you said to somebody else you wish you hadn't said it. Or maybe you overate or spent too much money, or whatever it may be. Maybe you didn't use your time in a way that you feel like you should have Get whatever it is real solid in your mind. You do that and then Christina is going to share an example with us as we go along, I am.

Speaker 1: 14:02

Do you have an instance in your mind, Christina, while the listeners are thinking of an example for themselves?

Speaker 2: 14:08

Well, I actually have many, but I'll just choose one. Okay, so you know I've talked about for you know, all of our podcast episodes how food and eating has been a stronghold for me my whole life, especially very much, especially when big emotions come up. This has just been something an old pattern for me since I was, you know, a young teenager. Big emotions of any kind. They can be celebratory, they can be oh, christmas is coming, I'm so excited. It can be that, but most of the time it's something difficult. Maybe it's fear, anxiety and, just to be honest, the last three weeks I've dealt with quite a bit of fear and anxiety with some health things that are going on. So there have been. I mean, by and large, I am a peaceful eater and I love saying that out loud to renew my mind, but I still struggle. Everybody will struggle until we step into heaven. That's just the way it is. This is a tough world to live in and we struggle. So I still struggle and there are times.

Speaker 2: 15:22

So the other day I was, you know, off doing medical tests and it was a difficult time and I was definitely stressed and I was struggling and I turned to the go-to that's been in my purse actually, for quite a few weeks, I didn't need fuel for my body at all. I was not hungry at all. I had had a really great whole body pleaser meal just before, but I felt a very strong pull toward food that I did not need. And that's not something that's you know, I mean in my past. That's something that happened many, many times a day. Every day, whatever challenging emotion came up, my go-to was let's get something to eat. So that's my mess up, that's my mistake, that's my tripping, my stumbling, and has been for a long time. So you're telling us you gave in. Yes, I gave in.

Speaker 1: 16:23

Okay, Cause I was thinking.

Speaker 2: 16:25

I ate the entire package and I totally gave in, and afterwards, you know, I didn't feel any better. In fact, I felt worse.

Speaker 1: 16:34

So since the Lord tells us in Jeremiah 33, three called on me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know. The best thing to do after a mess up is to ask God just to ask God so do you want to do that number one? What happened, lord? What? What was behind what?

Speaker 2: 16:54

happened, okay. So, lord, I invite you into this. What happened, you know? Help me, lord, I invite you into this. What happened, you know? Help me to see the way you see, not with eyes of condemnation, but with eyes of compassion and curiosity and Love. Okay, so what happened? What was behind it? So, what was behind it, I know I was feeling fear about the test results and anxiety. I was having a whole lot of anxious thoughts go through my mind and I kind of let my mind go there. I wasn't making the choice to fill it with life-giving thoughts which I know that I do, and I do that a lot, but I didn't do it in this time and so another question then you can follow that with is what did I feel in that moment?

Speaker 1: 17:44

How was I feeling? What was going through my mind and heart, so like physically I was feeling a little bit shaky.

Speaker 2: 17:52

I was feeling my heart was beating fast. I was feeling like you know, like kind of fear. You mentioned fear. I was feeling fear, um, emotionally very much, and feeling anxious thoughts, um, and some sadness too. Just, I think that you know, grieving what was happening with my body, grieving what was lost.

Speaker 1: 18:19

All right, the third question. Then we can again inviting God to show us. What did I believe, about myself or about you, lord?

Speaker 2: 18:30

Yeah, so in that moment I believed that I was in a dire situation. I was believing that I was in an emergency. I was believing that things were impossible. That's what I was believing just in that moment not all day, you know, not not all afternoon, nothing like that but but in that moment, when I reached for that food that I didn't physically need, I was believing this is impossible and I'm just going to grab for this thing that's going to make me feel better yeah, it's like an upgrade.

Speaker 1: 19:02

If I have to go through this, I'm going to make sure I go through it and have fun along the way as best as I can. And what was I?

Speaker 2: 19:08

believing about God. I mean you. You know I don't. I know God was with me, but there were thoughts going through my mind like have you forgotten? Where are you? What are you doing? This can't be happening. So thoughts like that.

Speaker 1: 19:28

Then the next question you can ask, inviting god to show you. What truth do I want to bring in now?

Speaker 2: 19:38

yes, good, good, good. And this is definitely where I want to go. I want to go to god's truth when my thoughts are taking me in a destructive direction, so I usually will go to our mind renewal tool. What is true in a situation like this? So what is true? God is right here. God is 100% engaged, god is not worried, god is not surprised, god is not anxious, god knows everything. God loves me with an everlasting love. I am God's girl, I am his beloved and I am held by him in the palm of his hand. I am safe with him.

Speaker 2: 20:24

And you can see those came out so quickly because I have practiced those many, many, many times, but again in that moment those were not coming up. You know I have to be intentional about going there.

Speaker 1: 20:39

All right. And then the fifth question, again asking God Lord, what might I do differently next time so that I have a different response? Instead of turning to whatever it might be, I turn to you or I turn to the solutions you have for me.

Speaker 2: 20:57

Yeah, and this is why we call it look and learn. We're taking a look, we're figuring it out with the Lord and then we're learning so that next time can be different. So I can use this today. I have another medical test in about an hour. I can use this today. I can prepare by renewing my mind ahead of time about what is true about God and me and the whole situation, just like I just did. I can practice those thoughts. I can say them again and again. I can also ask someone to pray for me, because I know that I'm going into a situation where my old thoughts might come up and I might be anxious or upset in some way. So I can get support that way. Another thing I could do is grab a few of my favorite scriptures and personalize them and use those to renew my mind.

Speaker 2: 21:53

I could take them with me into the waiting room. That's another idea.

Speaker 1: 21:58

I love those ideas. I'll be eager to hear how it goes. I'm not going to be praying for me, heidi. We do the look and learn, like we've just described it, not to be punished, to put ourselves through the paces or something, or to insist on perfection. No, no, no, it's a practice, living in the truth with Jesus. What would he have us do differently? And he promises us that he will give us everything we need for life and godliness. So we know that what he calls us to, he also equips us for. So I'm just going to go through those questions one more time, because somebody probably has in mind an incident. I hope they all do, but anyway.

Speaker 1: 22:42

Number one, lord, what happened? What was behind? What happened? Number two, happened? Number two what was I feeling in that moment? Number three what did I believe about myself or you, lord? Number four what truth do you want me to bring to this right now? What do you want me to refute it with? And number five what can I do differently next time, lord? And that's what we call look and learn. It's a beautiful way of thinking differently about failure, because we come to see that failure is actually an opportunity to learn what might work better the next time.

Speaker 2: 23:23

Yeah, and it's actually a mind renewal tool, because you can see that the renewing of the mind was right. In the mix of that, getting rid of the old lies and replacing them with truth, and then the bonus is intimacy with the Lord increases every time you do it. That is amazing. It is so. We've got another breath prayer for you and we just love these. Another way to just tell yourself the truth while you're breathing deeply. So we're going to inhale and say there is no condemnation.

Speaker 2: 24:03

And we're going to exhale and say only grace and truth in you Only grace and truth in you.

Speaker 1: 24:18

This is a perfect breath, prayer to pray, to say to kind of soak in when you are feeling a lot of shame.

Speaker 2: 24:22

So let's do this one together. Take a deep breath and say there is no condemnation, condemnation. And say there is no condemnation, condemnation. Breathe out and say only grace and truth and true let's do that one again breathe in. There is no condemnation, read out only grace and truth in you and truth in you. Beautiful, so, so beautiful. This week we're asking ourselves what's the tone of my inner voice? If it sounds like a critic or a bully, it's not Jesus, it's not.

Speaker 1: 25:18

This is sure striking me. I am a big one about the tone of voice. Yes, yes, it's like you, can you really you can say a lot just with a tone. Yes, you know, like if you were to ask me how are you today, I could say fine. What does that say? Yeah, there's something very different than fine, right right, oh my, there's so many different ways.

Speaker 2: 25:46

Tone makes a huge difference.

Speaker 1: 25:48

So what is the tone of my voice towards myself? Oh, Ooh.

Speaker 2: 25:55

Yeah, that's a good question, isn't it?

Speaker 1: 25:58

Yeah, so if it sounds like curiosity, like kindness, that might indicate that healing is beginning there. Yeah, it's just a hopeful thought, isn't it? You can write this on your mirror, or maybe in your journal or your phone background you know how you can put your own like wallpaper or whatever they call it on there, and and it can say there is no condemnation, I can respond with truth and grace.

Speaker 1: 26:30

I love the idea of writing that on my mirror you know, or sticky note or whatever on my mirror to remind me okay, don't spend time here shaming yourself or saying mean things to yourself. You know the mean girl needs to go, even if she lives inside of me, absolutely, absolutely.

Speaker 2: 26:48

We're so used to those old messages and so many of them just come from our own head.

Speaker 1: 26:55

Right, there is no condemnation. I can respond with truth and grace.

Speaker 2: 27:00

Yes, okay, so let's close our time today by speaking truth back to God. So, really, this is a praise fest. This is who he is, this is what he does and we are praising. We're using those words to praise him, which is just awesome. So let's do this together. You are not a God of condemnation.

Speaker 1: 27:23

You are not a God of condemnation.

Speaker 2: 27:25

You whisper truth instead of shouting shame.

Speaker 1: 27:30

You whisper truth instead of shouting shame. You whisper truth instead of shouting shame.

Speaker 2: 27:33

You are kind, even when I fall.

Speaker 1: 27:38

You are kind, even when I fall.

Speaker 2: 27:41

You sit with me in the dust and write love letters to me.

Speaker 1: 27:47

You sit with me in the dust and write love letters to me you sit with me in the dust and write love letters to me.

Speaker 2: 27:56

Okay, I brought that last part in myself, but I don't know that's who he is right, I think that's what he was doing when he was kneeling down in the dust with that. The woman in that story in john 8 right? John 8, right, yep. So in our next episode we're going to be talking about letting go of all or nothing thinking and learning how to walk with God in grace. One small yes at a time.

Speaker 1: 28:21

That sounds good. All right, until next time. You are not too much, you are not not enough, but you are God's workmanship. His masterpiece is poetry in motion, and you're not alone.

Speaker 2: 28:40

No, You're not alone, not ever, ever, ever. You are not alone. We are so glad you've been here today, yes, and we would love to invite you to come back next time for our next episode of Revelation Within. Bye, bye, bye, bye.

Speaker 1: 29:04

I did the voice, I noticed, I love it. I love it. Anyway, we'll see you next time. Bye for now, bye for now, bye for now.