Speaker 1: 0:02

Hi and welcome to our podcast Revelation Within On the Go. I'm Heidi Biles-Mutt-Epperson, one of your hosts and the owner and lead coach of the RevelationWithinorg ministry.

Speaker 2: 0:14

And I'm Christina Motley, your other host, also a Revelation Within coach and Heidi's partner in all things Revelation Within, and we are so happy to invite you to join us for this episode of Revelation Within On the go. We're so glad you're here today. Come on in.

Speaker 1: 0:42

Yeah, come on in, sit right down, sit right down. Welcome, in fact, to this final episode in our From Shame to Shalom series. Over the past few weeks, we've been trying to gently move, move, hopefully, from shame's grip toward the healing wholeness and peace. That true shalom that God offers. In fact, he wired us for shalom. He wired us to operate best when we're at peace, and today we're going to celebrate how far we've come, not by measuring progress, but by noticing the fruit of grace.

Speaker 2: 1:20

Oh, I love that, heidi, and I was just thinking oh no, this is our last one of this series because I don't want it to end. I have loved, loved, talking and sharing and just kind of soaking in this subject.

Speaker 1: 1:34

Well, it doesn't have to end for you or me or anybody, because we've got an eight-week class, nine Zoom sessions starting September 8th, and I really hope that you will be there.

Speaker 2: 1:46

Christina, yes, I'm going to be there, of course. I'm going to be there with bells on, and any of you who are out there listening, we would love for you to join us.

Speaker 1: 1:56

Yeah, just visit revelationwithinorg forward slash shalom. Yeah, yes, yeah, I'm going to go ahead and pray for our time because I think that's helpful, of course, and I just love recognizing his presence Absolutely. Father God, thank you for walking with us in every quiet moment, every breath line, every effort, every release of shame. We are not finished, but we are held. We are not perfect, but we are loved. Lead us in your peace today.

Speaker 2: 2:37

Amen.

Speaker 1: 2:38

Amen, all right. Well, we're going to start right here. You are not a project.

Speaker 2: 2:44

I'm not a project. You're not a project, I'm not a project.

Speaker 1: 2:46

You're not.

Speaker 2: 2:47

No, you're not a project, heidi, yay.

Speaker 1: 2:51

You're not something to fix, to manage or improve. You are a person deeply loved and gradually transformed by the king of the universe, who is also the lover of your soul, boy.

Speaker 2: 3:06

I was just thinking what if? What if, every time one of those really negative, condemning thoughts comes into my mind about my body, my, my, whatever my personality, my shortcomings? What if I just said that to myself? That truth, how would that change things? Just that one truth, you know.

Speaker 2: 3:28

So many of us live in what we call project thinking. You know, that's really what it is. It's like project thinking. If I could just fix this part of me, if I could finally get it right after a million bazillion tries, if I could just be more disciplined. But here's the truth and here's where I want to sit and stay and soak. God isn't our project manager. That's not who he is. God is our redeemer, our shepherd, our father. I'm just going to say that with the word I in there. Maybe you want to say it too. God isn't my project manager, he's my redeemer, he is my shepherd, he is my father. Oh, I love that. I think that that's a place where I've gotten stuck many, many times over the years. So let's go to Philippians 1, 6, which many of us know, one of our favorite verses he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion.

Speaker 1: 4:43

And the Greek word for completion in this verse is epitaleo, and it means to finish fully. Yes To bring, to get this to maturity. To bring to maturity with care. He's not rushing, but he is nurturing. Oh. So let's start off with a breath prayer together.

Speaker 2: 5:08

Yes, great idea.

Speaker 1: 5:10

Let's just take a few deep breaths first together. Okay, like, try this Try to inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth and exhale through your mouth. I've noticed that a lot of us will go.

Speaker 2: 5:39

Well, I never do that, I know, and so a good way of thinking of it is a count of four on the inhale and a count of four on the exhale.

Speaker 1: 5:42

And that's just to get us ready and started. So let's go ahead and inhale through our nose on with a count of four and exhale count of four. The inhale we're going to incorporate the truth of Philippians 1.6 and think those thoughts, but we're going to speak them out loud, if you can. On the inhale, we'll say you are completing the good work, and on the exhale, and I don't have to strive.

Speaker 1: 6:30

So are you ready, let's, let's get all the air out of our lungs before we start and now inhale and say you are completing the good work and exhale and I don't have to strive.

Speaker 2: 6:49

I don't have to strive.

Speaker 1: 6:52

And again inhale. You are completing the good work and on the exhale and I don't have to strive, I don't have to strive. Oh, I like that.

Speaker 2: 7:06

Yeah, I like that too. The first phrase. You're completing the good work. There's this part of me that's like oh, work, work, I have to work, and then we get to that second part, but I don't have to strive.

Speaker 1: 7:19

And it's so freeing. It is that's true and it's the truth.

Speaker 2: 7:23

It's the truth striving, striving. You know. You know what striving is. I'm sure you have ideas in your mind about that word. What you're thinking, striving, pushing, pushing. I'm thinking of pushing, pushing through, pushing as hard as you can in your own strength is. It's exhausting, it is and it's shame's whisper do more, be more, get it together already. But here's what surrender says, and again, this is where I want to live. Surrender says I am loved right here, just as I am. I'm loved right here. You know all my imperfections and messes and problems and shortcomings. I'm loved right here. And then I trust your timing, god. Right, your timing is perfect. I don't get it, I don't understand it, but your timing is perfect. I trust you. And then you are enough for me. I don't have to be enough, I don't have to be amazing. God is enough for me. Let's do a quick exercise together.

Speaker 1: 8:44

Yeah. So when you hear either from somebody else or from yourself, or a voice in your head, I should be further along, try replacing it with God is completing his good work on his timeline, so let's say that again. When you hear I should be further along, so let's say that again when you hear I should be further along. Replace it with God is completing his good work in his good time.

Speaker 2: 9:11

Yes.

Speaker 1: 9:12

And then when shame says you failed again or I failed again, let truth replace that. This is part of the process, and I'm still held.

Speaker 2: 9:24

Yes.

Speaker 1: 9:25

What's one phrase that shame often says to you Christina.

Speaker 2: 9:30

Probably the biggest one is you can't do this.

Speaker 1: 9:36

And how could God rewrite that? How could God?

Speaker 2: 9:39

rewrite it. I love that. It's a great question. So I'm going to submit that lie to the Lord and ask him how would you rewrite this, Lord? And he would say you don't have to be enough, you don't have to do this without me.

Speaker 1: 9:56

I am enough, and.

Speaker 2: 9:57

I will do it in you, I'm not worried.

Speaker 1: 10:02

Yay, that's great. Wouldn't it be awesome if we could live there where anytime we had those thoughts that really don't stand in alignment with god, every time we had like a holy spirit alarm go off yes and we were sensitive enough to hear it that we would capture those runaway thoughts, take them captive and replace them with what God has to say.

Speaker 1: 10:29

That would just be well. That's what we desire to do. That's why we push mind renewal so much, because I'm not going to think God's thoughts left to my own devices. I have to be super intentional.

Speaker 2: 10:40

Well, I actually I was working with one of my one-on-ones last week and she actually did what you just said the timer. So she created reminders in her phone where, where it says what do you want to be reminded of? She put in God's truth what we were just saying specific to her need, and it was pretty much the same thing all day long, so that when she heard that voice in her mind saying that, lie again, whether it was her voice, you know the enemy's voice or the world's voice all she had to do was look at that reminder and say it out loud.

Speaker 1: 11:18

And it was powerful for her.

Speaker 2: 11:20

Yeah, she went through the whole day and then she did two more days and it has made such an impact in her thinking. And, of course, we know that thoughts lead to beliefs and the beliefs lead to your actions. And so now her actions are starting to change and it's been awesome to see.

Speaker 1: 11:41

Yay, so you know, that kind of just reminds me of this underlying truth that we want to. We can't overstate it, and that is why do we push in steps to a fitter body, or 10 ways to convince yourself not to eat when you want to, or whatever. Renewing our minds causes us to be transformed, to think God's thoughts, to believe what is in alignment with God, and then we act on it.

Speaker 2: 12:22

It's a beautiful truth. It is. It's amazing the way God designed this this way for us to have a new mindset. And it's not like you said, it's not just going on Instagram. And here's your new mindset. Read these three, these three sentences. I saw one the other day which said things that I think about, that trick me into not eating, oh yes.

Speaker 2: 12:47

I saw that the other day on Instagram and I thought, wow, that is so fleeting, it's going to be gone in a second. There's no depth to it, there's nothing that connects to the heart with those little tricks. There's no meaning there. But with mind renewal, it's God's work in us, and so the sky is the limit, and it goes deeper than anything on this earth could ever go. It goes deep, spiritually deep, deep into our heart and soul, and that is where the transformation happens.

Speaker 1: 13:24

I love that.

Speaker 2: 13:25

Yeah, okay. So let's talk about this word that we've been using a lot lately Shalom. It's a beautiful word. I love the way it even rolls off my tongue Shalom. Shalom isn't just no conflict, that's kind of just the very tip of the iceberg there. It is the presence of wholeness spiritually, emotionally and physically, and so shalom really means nothing missing, nothing broken.

Speaker 1: 14:01

Even our bodies know when we're living in shame or we're living in peace and chronic shame kind of puts us in that fight, flight or freeze state.

Speaker 2: 14:13

Yes.

Speaker 1: 14:14

Of course God invites us to safety, to rest, to peace, to shalom. He really does.

Speaker 2: 14:21

He does. Okay. So here I get to share one of my very favorite verses, zephaniah 3, 17. He will take great delight in you. He will rejoice over you with singing. That's the sound of Shalom God's singing over you, not shaming you. One of the things I just wanted to say really quick. I love, heidi, that you mentioned something called chronic shame, because some of us do live in chronic shame, like it's become who we are, it's become what inundates our thoughts all day long. But this scripture tells us that God delights in us, he rejoices over us, and some versions say loud singing, which just cracks me up.

Speaker 1: 15:11

Yeah, raucous, I think the translation is actually rowdy, singing Rowdy.

Speaker 2: 15:19

I love that. I'm imagining the Lord with all his angels being rowdy up there and singing over us. That's great, but that's really what the sound of shalom is God singing over us, not shaming us. There's no shame from God. No shame from God. We are redeemed.

Speaker 1: 15:41

Okay, so let's do a visualization together. Just, it's a shalom visualization. Close your eyes, if you can, and if you can't, that's okay. Okay so let's do a visualization together. It's a shalom visualization. Close your eyes, if you can, and if you can't, that's okay. But close your eyes, if you can, for a moment and just picture God near to you. He's near, he's coming closer and he's not impatient with you. What does his face look like? If it helps, it can be Jesus that you're picturing. He's not impatient. He's not tapping his foot and looking at you cross-eyed like you're not doing something right, but instead he's singing. He's singing, wow. Can you feel the soft edges of his love as it wraps you up like a blanket? What would change in your life if you moved through your day as someone delighted in by the king of the universe and if you could move through your day as one who is sunk over?

Speaker 2: 16:53

Okay, that made me cry. I'm sorry about that. No, it's a good, they're good tears. I imagined Jesus coming up behind me and kind of surprising me by wrapping his arms around me from behind me, and that teared me up and still is. So let's go ahead and jump into another breath prayer. At this point. We're going to breathe in and say you rejoice over me with singing. We're going to breathe in and say you rejoice over me with singing. And we're going to breathe out and say and I rest in your delight. You know what I just have to share really quick.

Speaker 2: 17:34

Yesterday, heidi and I were having an exchange over text and we had a little bit of a difference of opinion and Heidi was right and I was kind of going my own way and doing things not doing things, but thinking about something in a way that was pretty stubborn and she called me out and it was so good and it was so loving and isn't that what best friends are for?

Speaker 2: 18:01

And so I kind of went away from the phone for a few minutes and I turned it into a breath prayer and I just let myself quiet down because I needed to do that. I was all wrapped up in myself. I was wrapped up in my own stuff, my own issues, and so I pulled away just for a second, turned it into a breath prayer and right away, right away, I was so aware of God's presence and right away he was speaking truth into my mind and my heart. Right away, because I was open to it, I was inviting him in instead of, well, I want this, well, I need this, well, this feels right, well, what about this? And I thought, you know, when my best friend speaks up like that, I need to be listening, because it's God speaking through her. Not that you're perfect, heidi, and not that everything you say is perfect, but it was such a sweet moment because God, it was like I just he was ushered in and he surprised me with so much peace.

Speaker 2: 19:08

And then I was able to think so much more clearly and it was good and it felt like relief. It was good. Thank you, Heidi, for allowing God to do that in you. It was super special, super special. Thanks for telling me.

Speaker 2: 19:27

Yeah, okay. So here comes the breath prayer. Let's take one deep breath without saying anything, breathe in through through your nose, breathe out through your mouth, and now let's inhale again. And now let's inhale again and say you rejoice over me with singing exhale and I rest in your delight. Let's do it again inhale, you rejoice over me with singing exhale and I rest in your delight oh thank you Lord, thank you Lord, thank you, lord.

Speaker 2: 21:31

And you know you can take anything that you're going through and turn it into a breath prayer, as long as it lines up with scripture. You are reminding yourself what's true. You're telling your own soul what is true, what's true. You're telling your own soul what is true. So you're still going to have moments when shame tries to speak up. No matter how much your mind is renewed, no matter how many times you do it in a day, no matter how many years you've been working on this or maybe you just started today, you know, walking through this world, we will always have moments when shame tries to speak up. The mirror might still feel loud, like you can really hear what those thoughts are from the mirror. Old patterns might still knock. In fact, they will. They definitely will. But now, now you have tools, you pause, you breathe and you ask God what do you say about me here? What are your thoughts? What is your perspective? I want to live and breathe and believe and think and act according to what you say about me.

Speaker 2: 22:44

And again, one of my favorite verses. This has been kind of my verse for what I'm going through right now with breast cancer. I've used this one every single day since I started. Isaiah 26,. Three you will keep in perfect peace, shalom, shalom those whose minds are steadfast. So I get to choose that. You get to choose perfect peace, which is shalom said twice, which is so much fun to say twice.

Speaker 2: 23:17

When your mind is fixed on Christ, when your mind is fixed on his truth, when your mind is steadfast on his faithfulness, you get to choose that perfect peace, and so do I. Perfect peace, double shalom, not shallow, not on the surface. Deep and lasting. It doesn't get any deeper deep and lasting.

Speaker 1: 23:47

It doesn't get any deeper. I'm experiencing shalom, shalom right now Me too. It feels so good. Well, we want to take a moment later today perhaps, if now's not a good time to pause the podcast and do it now. But take a moment later today to ask Lord, where are you inviting me to walk in greater shalom next? I'll ask that again God, where are you inviting me to walk in greater shalom next? Oh, I love that question. Do you have something that comes to mind?

Speaker 2: 24:27

Well, yeah, just now, just right now, just this journey that I'm on right now. You know, every day looks different every day. I'm not sure what to expect. You know how I'm going to feel, what I'm going to be able to do, what? What I'm asked to do, what I'm not asked to do. I love this question. I'm going to take it into my weekend.

Speaker 1: 24:48

Hmm, you know we haven't shared with our podcasts folks about your news. This is the first mention of it we've made, and so why don't you just give a little nutshell right now before we wrap things up?

Speaker 2: 25:05

Yeah, okay. So I've mentioned before many times that I struggle with chronic Lyme disease.

Speaker 2: 25:12

So, that's ongoing and it's still there, although I'm really in a good place with that right now. I'm very grateful that God has given me a lot of peace with that physically right now, but it's been about six weeks, I think maybe seven. I went for a routine mammogram. I didn't think it would be any different than any others. I've never been called back after a mammogram I know a lot of people are, you know, routinely but I was called back and then I was called back again. So biopsies, ultrasounds, scans, all the tests and it did come back positive for cancer in my breast. It's a bad cancer I mean, all cancer is bad but it's definitely one of the harder ones to fight and takes longer and it's a more intensive fight, but it is curable, thank God. I'm so very grateful for that. And it is not um genetic, which I'm also very grateful for. I'm grateful for a lot of things, um, actually, even though it was such a totally shocking, totally shocking discovery. So as soon as we heard the news, they had me going through tests for really an entire week, got all the information they needed and then we went on a trip that was a trip of a lifetime with our family to Europe and my husband and I celebrated our 30th anniversary and we picked up our daughter, who had been in Europe for 10 months, and we got to see my family in Germany and it was an amazing trip. When we got back, hit the ground running and started treatment. So I will be in some kind of treatment for about a year and it's going to be a lot.

Speaker 2: 27:04

Many of you are going through something similar right now or have a loved one who are. Cancer is everywhere. It's very common and prevalent these days. I don't want to minimize how difficult it is. It is. So I'm going to say it's going to be a hard road and God is going to be there with me every step of the way. I'm already seeing incredible blessings and changes and sweetness in my kids, my husband, friends, family. It's been amazing to see and I've been working hard on intentionally choosing my thoughts and putting boundaries around my thoughts when I start going down roads of fear which you know that's really easy to do is to go down a road of fear Well, I can go into the negative. What ifs very, very quickly and we don't know what God has planned and we don't know why he's allowing this or timing it the way that he is and I trust him.

Speaker 1: 28:14

Yeah, it makes sense that that would be what comes to mind when you ask God. Comes to mind when you ask God where are you?

Speaker 2: 28:25

inviting me to walk in greater shalom? Yes, exactly. That's just a perfect question for anyone who's going through any kind of chronic illness or suffering. Or maybe it's an emotionally chronic thing, maybe it's chronic shame I mean, it can be anything like that. That is ongoing. What an amazing question to ask Lord. Where are you inviting me to walk in greater Shalom next? Could be in the very next minute.

Speaker 1: 28:56

Yes.

Speaker 2: 28:57

And Heidi has already prayed me through every single day of this and I know that she will continue, and I just couldn't be more grateful.

Speaker 1: 29:08

Another question that you can ask the Lord is to show you what he would want you to remember when shame tries to creep back in.

Speaker 1: 29:20

Remember we are moving from shame out of shame. We're not letting shame define us any longer, we're not giving it even one ounce of room in our lives and we're moving towards shalom, to embrace shalom, to let shalom, which is brought to us by God, have its way with us. What can we remember? Lord? Show us. What can we remember when shame tries to creep back in? You know what? One of the things that I want to remember when shame tries to creep back in is that, yes, I'm in process. Yes, he's going to finish his good work in me, but he is delighting over me with singing right now.

Speaker 2: 30:05

Yes, Loud, rowdy singing. Yes, I can't wait to be a part of that. That'll be really fun to be a part of that rowdy bunch Singing over people when we're in heaven. Won't that be fun? Yeah.

Speaker 1: 30:21

I love that idea.

Speaker 2: 30:22

Okay, let's close with some praise. You ready for some praise? Let's close. Let's do this. Lord God, you never shamed me into change. Lord God, you rejoiced over me when I was weary. Lord God, you rewrote my story with grace and, lord God, you led me to rest. You lead me to rest.

Speaker 1: 30:58

Lord, you give me hope for the future. Yes, lord, lord, you also help me to see the wonders and mystery and joy of this moment. Yes, yes, god, you are right here right now, and I can touch eternity just by changing my thoughts in a Godward direction oh I, I love that one.

Speaker 2: 31:20

I can touch eternity.

Speaker 1: 31:27

Lord God, you are my way maker where there seems to be no way. Thank you, God, for all that you are.

Speaker 2: 31:32

Yes, thank you, god. We love you.

Speaker 1: 31:35

So we're going to urge you we're going to commission you, listener, to go forward, not as a project, but as a poem. You are God's poetry in motion. You are his masterpiece. You're not going to chase perfection, but you're going to practice peace. You're not going to need to prove yourself. You could just receive what he has for you.

Speaker 2: 31:55

Doesn't that sound better? That sounds so good, that sounds so so so good, so good.

Speaker 1: 32:06

That sounds so so, so good. So, from Romans 15, verse 13, I'm going to just speak this blessing and then Christina will close us. So here's a blessing straight out of Romans 15, 13. May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace. As you trust in him, walk in shalom. As you trust in him, walk in shalom. Respond with curiosity rather than to criticism. Live like someone who is deeply, joyfully loved, because you are.

Speaker 2: 32:30

Oh, I love that, heidi. Thank you, okay. So live, loved. Live as a person who is loved, live, light. Live as a person who has light all around them, because you do live free, as one who can choose and live whole in shalom, shalom. We are so glad that you've been here today I just don't even want this podcast to end.

Speaker 2: 33:01

It has just touched my heart so deeply and we're so glad we want to invite you to our next podcast, revelation Within On the go. Okay, thanks for joining us. Come on back next time. See you then. Bye-bye.