Speaker 1: 0:02

Hi and welcome to our podcast Revelation Within On the Go. I'm Heidi Wiles-Maepperson, one of your hosts and the owner and lead coach of the RevelationWithinorg ministry.

Speaker 2: 0:13

And I'm Christina Motley, your other host, also a Revelation Within coach and Heidi's partner in all of Revelation Within on the Go. Yay, oh wonderful. Today we're walking slowly and tenderly through a story that shows us what repentance really looks like Not ashamed, not as self-loathing, but as a return to love, is that? A good place to start. Yeah, it is.

Speaker 1: 0:57

This is a story today of Peter and it's going to be totally familiar to you. I'm going to ask you, invite God to help you see it with fresh ears, fresh eyes and a heart that is ready to be refreshed with the truth. Remember Peter he was the one who boldly said he would never leave Jesus. Yes, but he did. But Jesus didn't write him off. He restored Peter and he still restores us today, you and me. He restores, yay.

Speaker 2: 1:31

Thank you, Lord. That is such good news, isn't it?

Speaker 1: 1:35

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 1:36

I'll go ahead and open us in prayer. All right, father, we thank you that your kindness leads us to repentance. We thank you that your kindness leads us to repentance. You are not the accuser, you are the restorer. Thank you, lord. Speak to our hearts today, especially the parts still wrapped in shame. Lord Jesus, will you meet us in the breaking and lead us into freedom? Thank you, god. I pray in Jesus name, amen.

Speaker 1: 2:08

Amen. So let's set the scene. We need to do that. Yes, it's the night that Jesus was arrested. Peter had, of course, shot off his mouth, like he was prone to do. I've done that. Have you done that? Shot off your mouth? Oh yeah, peter had promised to stay faithful to Jesus even unto death, but remember, jesus had predicted that Peter would deny him three times. That would be disheartening, wouldn't it? Anyway, and this is the way that Peter did it, he said I don't know him, I don't know Jesus. They'd been best friends, they had been so close. And he said I am not one of them. What, wow? And then the third one was man, I don't know what you're talking about. And so, following that, just as he was speaking, the rooster crowed. It says in Luke 22, the Lord turned. Oh, this just makes my heart weep.

Speaker 1: 3:16

The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. Then Peter remembered and he went outside and wept bitterly.

Speaker 2: 3:24

Oh, wow, and that's from Luke 22, 61 and 62. So yeah, there's really something crushing about that line. You know, the Lord turned and looked at Peter. If you just kind of imagine this situation, wow, I mean, just think about that. All he did, he didn't say a word.

Speaker 1: 3:49

He turned and looked at peter. But you know, I think it's important for us to capture this moment accurately it wasn't in condemnation it's not like jesus was looking at him saying well. Well, how could you, how could you? Peter? It was more, because Jesus's heart broke. Yes, it was because he wanted Peter to remember who he is and whose he is.

Speaker 1: 4:13

Peter's response to this look from Jesus. He weeps bitterly, and that's the beginning, in this case, of a heart that's repenting. Not the tears, but what motivated the tears was oh, that's right. So let's do a little bit of a word study. We love to do word studies on the phrase wept bitterly, because that's what Peter did in response to Jesus's gaze, and the Greek word here for bitterly is pikros, meaning violently, painfully, deeply distressed. Whoa, talk about superlatives. Peter wasn't just sad, his heart was broken.

Speaker 2: 5:02

Yes, well, and really isn't that where repentance begins, you know? Not with being caught. That's not where it begins. Not with fear of punishment, that's not where it begins. Repentance begins when we feel that ache, you know that ache I'm talking about, heidi. That ache of separation from the one we love most. We know something's not right between us and there's an ache.

Speaker 1: 5:31

So we have a breath prayer for you. Let's go ahead and give this one a try. But before we do that, we're just going to breathe deeply together for a minute and just let your body slow down, let your mind slow down, let your heart slow down. Your pulse rate will return to a. If you're like many people, you kind of go a million miles an hour in any given day and you need a moment of pausing. Yes, we do, we all do.

Speaker 1: 5:58

Yeah, so just take a moment and breathe in deep for the count of four. Just take a moment and breathe in deep for the count of four. Hold it for the count of four and exhale for the count of four. And do it again Inhale for the count of four, hold it for the count of four and exhale for the count of four and exhale for the count of four. Now, when you inhale, you're going to say I have denied you, lord. And on the exhale, you're going to say but you have not denied me. That's a really important truth to care with the fact that we do deny the Lord every time we make a choice to go our own way. We do deny him, but he restores us. He does not deny us. Okay, so let's go ahead and start. With our lungs all empty, go ahead and breathe out, exhale all the air in your lungs and now inhale.

Speaker 2: 7:05

I have denied you, lord.

Speaker 1: 7:06

I have denied you, lord, I have denied you, Lord and exhale, but you have not denied me.

Speaker 2: 7:12

You have not denied me.

Speaker 1: 7:16

And inhale. I have denied you, Lord, I have denied you Lord. Exhale. You have not denied me. You have not denied me. Oh, my goodness, it's so wonderful to be reminded that God does not deny us. He doesn't, no matter what.

Speaker 2: 7:35

No, he never, ever does. Okay, so let's go to John 21, verses 15 through 19. Let's fast forward. Jesus has been crucified, buried and raised to life, and now we find Peter out fishing again, mainly hoping to go back to the life that he had before.

Speaker 1: 8:00

Yeah, you know, it's so interesting, I think, of this whole experience that you know, Jesus suffered, was beaten, hung on a cross, and I'm picturing Peter might not have been there, but knowing about it, I mean, cause there's no doubt he knew what was going on if he wasn't peeking from somewhere. And then you know, you think about, before the resurrection, what did the disciples do? I mean Jesus had died, and can you imagine what Saturday would have been like? It would have been a bummer. It would have been a big bummer, awful, so yeah, so disappointing, a sense of no hope. What happened? We thought we were going to be conquering the world together. Okay, so Peter's gone back to fishing and then Jesus shows up. What? There he is, yep, he's on the shore. And what's he doing? What's he doing? Is he preparing to preach a sermon? No, no, he's making a fire, just like the one near where Peter denied him.

Speaker 1: 9:13

And he's kind of recreating that moment, not to shame Peter, no, but to heal him and restore him. He says, simon, son of John, do you love me?

Speaker 2: 9:27

Wow, and not only once, but he asks it three times One for each of the denials that happened with Peter. And not only once, but he asks it three times One for each of the denials that happened with Peter. And Peter, though grieved, he keeps saying Lord, you know, I love you.

Speaker 1: 9:49

And what does Jesus say in response?

Speaker 2: 9:50

Jesus says feed my sheep, follow me. And that's from. John 21, 15 through 19.

Speaker 1: 10:25

Yeah. Jesus doesn't say well, explain yourself, peter, right. He doesn't say I can't believe you did that. He doesn't do any of that. No, instead, he gives Peter a calling, a high calling on his life. I mean, look, if we could let God down, if we could let God down so much that many of us think we can do. We really think that in this instance, where Peter had denied Jesus at the time, that Jesus was being handed over to evil men to be hung on a cross, I mean, he restored Peter during a moment like that. He's certainly going to restore us Right. Repentance in Peter's case led to restoration and mission. He was called by God Woo.

Speaker 2: 11:17

Okay, so now let's go to Acts 3, verse 19, where Peter would later preach these words repent and turn to God so that your sins may be wiped away. That times of refreshing may come from the Lord Wow, I mean, I love that. Times that refreshing will come from repentance and your sins will be wiped away. Beautiful, I love that.

Speaker 1: 11:48

So the word repent, metanoia is a total change of mind and heart, not just a I'm sorry or boo hoo hoo. That makes me sad that I did that. I'm going to change my ways. No, I mean, it's so much more than that it's. I want to live differently. I'm going to turn, I'm going to think differently. I'm going to let my thinking affect my actions too.

Speaker 2: 12:15

Peter's story shows us that repentance is not just about remorse. That's not what it's about. It's about relationship. Jesus made the fire, jesus asked the questions, jesus did the restoring.

Speaker 1: 12:31

He also made breakfast.

Speaker 2: 12:32

Yeah, he made breakfast. I love that. I love that. Isn't that such a beautiful picture of repentance and relationship and restoring? It's beautiful.

Speaker 1: 12:44

And he does the same for us. He doesn't just hand us a clipboard with check boxes and say these are the rules you've broken and now these are the rules you need to keep. He makes us breakfast, he looks into our eyes and he says follow me, Follow me her eyes and he says follow me, follow me.

Speaker 2: 13:00

Yeah, he knew, peter was hungry.

Speaker 1: 13:12

Yeah, I mean, I think it's so awesome. You have to think. Going back to the way that Jesus gazed at Peter when Peter denied him the third time. You know, we read that earlier. Jesus's heart was broken by Peter's betrayal, and now he's rather than get cut into the chase right away, he's making breakfast and he's having a conversation with his dear friend.

Speaker 2: 13:31

He's taking care of everything. Basically, I know it's like he's providing for Peter's every need by doing that. He's inviting him to be with him.

Speaker 1: 13:42

He put focus onto Peter and what Peter needed. Peter needed connection, peter needed somebody to. I mean, here's my thought was Peter went back to fishing. Yeah, and that's not at all what the plan had been.

Speaker 2: 13:55

Right.

Speaker 1: 13:56

And I'm thinking Jesus didn't say now what do you think you're doing out here? You know there's work for you to do. He didn't do that. He didn't do that, he fixed him breakfast. I love that. I love it too.

Speaker 2: 14:08

That's one of my favorite stories.

Speaker 1: 14:10

Oh, I know Well, they're all our favorites, aren't they? They?

Speaker 2: 14:13

are they really are?

Speaker 1: 14:15

So here's some reflection questions for you. Where in my life am I hiding behind shame rather than running toward grace that God extends to me? Where in my life am I hiding behind shame rather than running toward grace?

Speaker 2: 14:39

Here's another question for you to reflect on, for us to reflect on, maybe, journal about how do I picture Jesus looking at me after I have failed. Can I see his compassion? Hmm, you might want to just spend some time with the Lord thinking about that, talking to him about that, because that's how he greets us every time, no matter what, with compassion.

Speaker 1: 15:11

Hmm, I love that. I love that. Oh, if we could only respond to our own failures the way the Lord responds to our failures, it would flip everything on on its head in a good way, in a beautiful way in a freeing way Right. So Jesus had kind of recreated a charcoal fire moment for Peter that might have reminded Peter of his denials.

Speaker 1: 15:38

Of course I have to think Peter sees Jesus, and of course he jumps out of the boat where he's fishing and swims to shore so eager to see Jesus. But yet I wonder if there wasn't some. Oh boy, I'm in trouble now. Yeah, what there?

Speaker 2: 15:54

he is Right. I mean just imagine oh man, I can't't even. Yeah, it's amazing, I can't either.

Speaker 1: 16:02

So what charcoal fire moment might Jesus be using to restore me? Not punish me or not disapprove of me or not condemn me in any way, but to restore me.

Speaker 2: 16:17

Yeah, that's a good question, isn't it?

Speaker 1: 16:20

Yeah, they all are good, okay.

Speaker 2: 16:24

So we have another breath prayer for you. We're going to inhale and say you restore what I break. And we're going to exhale and say your love welcomes me home. Hmm, all right. So let's go ahead and give this one a try. Breathe in and say you restore what I break. Exhale and say your love welcomes me home, your love welcomes me home, beautiful.

Speaker 2: 17:03

Let's do that one one more time. Inhale and say you restore what I break. Exhale, your love welcomes me home. Peter didn't just return to neutrality, he returned to mission. He went on to be a pillar of the church, filled with the Holy Spirit and preaching what Repentance with boldness, probably because he knew so much about it. Imagine him even telling that story to people about Jesus on the beach. I mean, he just talked about his own experience.

Speaker 1: 17:48

Oh, and that's the fruit of true repentance. It's not shame, it's not self-loathing, it's not beating myself down into a hole that I can't get out of, but the results of repentance. True repentance is going to be refreshment, restoration, a sense of purpose. Oh, I love that. Psalm 23, three says he restores my soul. Of course I love that.

Speaker 2: 18:15

I love it too.

Speaker 1: 18:16

So if you want some tools for walking out repentance. Of course, at the top of my list would be the look and learn tool.

Speaker 1: 18:24

So, let's talk about that just for a moment, christina. Okay, yeah, I mean you can do, and this is something I think is so cool about the look and learn tool, which really is just our way of talking about confession, agreeing with God about what his desires were and that I went a different way, and then learn. That's the repentance part, that's changing directions, and we can do this about something that happened a year ago, about something that happened a minute ago, about something that happened five hours ago, whatever we can look and learn or confess and repent anything anytime anywhere. So, talking about the look and learn tool, to me one of the most important things is to just invite God in, because this is about his thoughts about whatever it was that happened.

Speaker 1: 19:18

If I had a fight with my husband, or if I said, oh, I said some terrible things to Daniel, my son, so it was almost like I told you, so I told you. So I was like, oh, daniel, I'm sorry, but I want to talk to God about you know how did I approach my son when he had been sick and all of that. Yes, you need to go see that particular kind of doctor for this. And the ER finally told him that, and I'm like. I told you so, lord. What do I need to know or do or be or remind myself of or hear from you about, so that I think differently in situations? Really, I agree with you, lord. I said things I wish I hadn't and I apologized for them later, but I don't want to ever do that again. I want to be in a different place. I want to have a different frame of reference than the I told you so reference.

Speaker 2: 20:14

Well, and what's so amazing about look and learn? I mean, you know that it's not going the way that it should. If you're feeling any kind of shame or if you're feeling self-condemnation, Look and learn is so good. It will make you feel free. It will make you feel close to God. It will make you feel refreshed and renewed. That's what it will do. We go to him with Lord. This totally went sideways. And then he says I know, and with conviction, you know like I was there and saw every bit of it.

Speaker 2: 20:53

I was there and I actually knew that would happen. And let's talk about it, and let's talk about what will work better next time. I mean, I always think of it as the Lord and I, in my convertible bug. We're driving together and he's with me. I've got my hands on the wheel, though, because I have free will, and so he's not grabbing the wheel. You know, like we did when we tried to teach our teenagers how to drive and they were getting ready to crash into a light post or something, he doesn't grab the wheel, he lets me go left. When he's lovingly said it's time to go right, he lets me go, but he doesn't condemn me. We talk about it, then we talk about it, and that's. It's a beautiful rhythm with the Lord. A daily rhythm Look and learn is something we can look forward to, and we know we're going to leave that time refreshed and restored rather than depleted or exhausted. It's going to be really good.

Speaker 1: 21:59

Yeah, and so imagine thinking of repentance that way because that's really what it is.

Speaker 2: 22:04

That's really what it is.

Speaker 1: 22:05

I want to go the direction God has for me in those moments. And so talking to him about it, asking him he's not the one who's going to wag his finger at my face and say you've got to get rid of all the cookies in your house. That's not, that's not his voice. I mean, he may say something to me about the cookies, but, or whatever. If that's what I'm feeling like I need to repent of is eating cookies or whatever he wants. He wants to have a chance to be heard. And so, sitting in quiet and listening to him and agreeing with him as it's good and agreeing with him as it's good. So, if you want, you can review the story in Luke 22 and John 21, and just invite God to show you, um, the answers to some questions that we have for you.

Speaker 1: 22:59

And for instance, you can create a God list based on who you see Jesus as in these stories. Yes, and who is he to you in this story? I mean, that's a really good question. And then take a moment to praise him with the attributes you've pulled out of the story.

Speaker 2: 23:12

And then another idea would be to do a little bit of journaling. What do you hear him saying what fire has he built for you? Write some things down. Maybe scripture comes to mind or you're in the word. Or maybe, while you were doing your praise fest, you were hearing him respond to you, rebuilding you. What do you hear him saying? Write it down. That's going to be a book of treasures for you, that journal who God is, who he says he is, praising him. And then what do you hear him saying to you?

Speaker 2: 23:46

personally, I love the idea of going to these specific passages in the word and focusing there on who God is, because, boy, he shows himself in a beautiful way to Peter.

Speaker 1: 24:00

Yeah, he shows himself in a beautiful way to Peter. Yeah, he does. I love that. Peter is such a wonderful example of somebody who, just like he's just out there and he, because he's so out there, he messes up often enough and Jesus restores him and commissions him, and what an amazing truth that is. And you know, that's what he does with us too, and what an amazing truth that is, and you know that's what he does with us too. It is. I love it. Yay, that's been fun to look at.

Speaker 2: 24:26

Okay, I'll go ahead and close this in prayer. Lord Jesus, thank you, thank you. Thank you that you came back for us, thank you that even in our denials, even in our broken places which we have plenty of you meet us with grace every single time. Lord Jesus, restore our hearts, like you did Peter's. Let repentance be our return to love, not our retreat into shame. We are looking forward to our time with you, lord.

Speaker 1: 25:00

I pray in jesus name, amen amen, and if you're in a place where you feel like peter, broken, distant, maybe unsure, if jesus still wants you remember that fire on the beach the breakfast the questions he's inviting you back and, until next time, keep practicing presence, gratitude, spirit-led repentance, and know this you are deeply loved and never too far gone. Nope, never, absolutely. Thanks for joining us.

Speaker 2: 25:37

We're so glad you've been here today. Thanks for joining us.

Speaker 1: 25:42

We're so glad you've been here today and we hope that you will join us for our next episode of Revelation Within on the go, go, go, go, go, go go. Come on back next time. Bye-bye.