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Hi, and welcome to our podcast, Revelation Within on the Go. I'm Heidi Bilesma Everson, one of your hosts, and the owner and the coach of the RevelationWithin.org ministry.

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And I'm Christina Molly, your other host, also a Revelation Within coach, and Heidi's partner in all things Revelation Within. And we are so happy to invite you to join us for this very special episode of Revelation Within.

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Go, go, go, go.

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Come join us. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Today we're diving into a question that we've heard a lot of times over the years, but especially over the last two and a half years since we rebranded from Sin Within to Revelation Within. Uh-huh. Maybe you've asked it too. Have you asked this question? Is it a sin or wrong to want to lose weight? Tricky, tricky, tricky. Yeah, what do you think of that?

SPEAKER_02: 1:15

That is a tricky question. And maybe right next to that is another question that we don't always say out loud. How about this one? Am I wrong to care this much? Or am I wrong to judge someone else because of their size?

SPEAKER_00: 1:36

You know, that's something that I've noticed that goes with those of us who have over the years, you know, have a feeling that we need to be a certain size and shape, is we also tend to evaluate others through that same lens. Yep. I know that there was a time where this is hard for me. Oh, this is a hard one for me to talk about, but yeah, talk about it anyway.

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Okay, go, go.

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Years and years and years ago, when I struggled with my weight, I still can struggle with it, but this happened years ago. I if I was on the upswing, I would step down from the worship team. Or I would step down from really I didn't know that. Yes, I felt like I was a poor reflection of somebody who loved the Lord. Now, this is not what we teach. No, no, no, no, no, absolutely not. But I I remember not that long ago, it was probably within the last couple of years. Somebody in one of our classes said how she struggles with seeing overweight pastors or overweight worship leaders because she thinks they shouldn't be that way. And I get it, I get it, but you know, we want to talk about this a little bit. And yeah, again, it's another bull to take by the horns.

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There's a lot of bulls running around, and we're riding this is a topic that takes courage.

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Oh, and I don't know if I have it or not, but um it's and it's really not so black and white. No, there's so much underneath it, but it's really worth swallowing and getting up the courage to dig into it with honesty and yes, gentleness, of course. Yeah, like our Lord does, and scripture.

SPEAKER_02: 3:28

Yep, let's do that. You know, my mom was somebody who really struggled with her weight her whole life, and she was very, very judgmental toward others, you know, secretly behind the scenes. She would have never said anything. And I I always wondered about that. And I always thought, what is this about? You know, why wouldn't she have compassion toward others who are struggling? And I think it was just this sense of of fear, and just like, you know, she couldn't, she felt out of control with her own situation. She felt condemned with her own situation. And I think this happens with a lot of us, and so we look at someone else and say, oh, well, oh, well, this. And it's just our hearts are broken, is what it is. Our hearts are broken.

SPEAKER_00: 4:22

That's a nice way of looking at it. Um it really is. And I think we're gonna be talking this episode about some of the truth behind what might be going on when somebody is struggling with their size, and it's not because they're overeating. Um, I think it's important to recognize that there are yes, there's true situations in this world.

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Absolutely.

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Absolutely. No matter what I eat, I may not look like I eat that much or that little or whatever might be.

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But anyway, so let's begin here. Wanting to lose weight in and of itself isn't sinful. What? Yeah, what? But like so many things in our walk with God, it comes down to motivation. What's going on behind it? What's going on inside? What's going on in our hearts and minds? Why do I want to lose weight? What am I hoping weight loss will do for me? What does it say about what I believe about God and about myself? Ooh. Big questions. I mean, these are questions that take courage to ask. And actually, for many of us, they run really deep.

SPEAKER_00: 5:38

Really deep. So don't go away. Don't go away. More for you. And of course, let's mention Romans 12.2 because what episode would be complete without it? Not a one. Yeah, Romans 12.2 says, do not conform to the pattern of this world, but to be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Well, the pattern of this world is obsession with appearance for sure, with numbers, with size, with programs, with ways of six days to a perfect body or whatever. This world trains us to measure our worth by what we look like, not who we are in Christ. We are taught from an early age, early, early, early, that thin equals beautiful, lovable, acceptable, even godly. Oh, is that true? God, what do you have to say about that?

SPEAKER_02: 6:35

Oh my goodness. Well, and we want to ask questions like where did we learn this? Who told us that we're only worthy if we weighed a certain number of pounds? Oh my gosh, where did that begin? Was that from God's word? No. No, no, no, no, that came from the culture that we live in. That came from the voices that are all around us. Years ago, it came from magazines, but now it comes from social media and the internet and even our families.

SPEAKER_00: 7:13

Oh, yeah, and church, church too. And this is really where it gets super tricky. Yeah. When our desire to lose weight turns into a need to weigh a certain number so that we can finally feel like we've done it, we've arrived, we feel accepted, we feel approved, we feel confident, we feel loved. We have perhaps crossed over into idolatry. The number becomes our savior. Yes, we want to bow before it. I remember this so well when I lived in this place all the time, and it fed that behavior getting on the scale 25 times a day. Okay, maybe not 25, but at least five, okay, for sure. And it was like, okay, I've got to eat so little that I can hit this particular number that I had in my head. And I remember, I remember I wanted to lose 100 pounds, not 96, not 98, but 100 pounds. But the trick was, what was it gonna take me to get to that place? And what would happen after that? Yeah, yikes, it was an idol in my life. That one zero zero was a big idol in my life. Wow, and the number on the scale was, and it was like I looked to it to provide my salvation on this planet. I don't mean salvation from hell, I mean I will be liked, people will treat me but and they do. I hate to say this, people do treat me differently depending upon my size. I have been all sizes and shapes, and I was treated best when I was thin. Wow. Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_02: 8:55

Yep. Whew. This is um, yeah, this is a hard topic. I mean, boy, I think of all the times that I stood on that scale and celebrated, but all the other times where I stood on that scale, and I I just thought, I'm not enough, I'm not enough, I'm not enough, I'm not enough. And who is God in all this? How does he see us? That's the focus, that's where we need to go. So, and then when we project that standard onto others, whoa, that's judgment, that's pride, that's not the mind of Christ. That's the mean church lady.

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Yeah, I remember it.

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Maybe you've never said one of those judgments out loud, but they have been in your mind. And in my mind, we're we're all guilty of this. We've all done this. There's not a single person that hasn't judged someone else. We've all done it.

SPEAKER_00: 9:56

But there was a mean church lady at my church a long time ago who didn't keep them in her mind. She let those words out of her mouth. I was on the worship team at the time, even though I had been gaining weight at that time in my life. And she had the audacity. Oh my gosh. This is kind of when it became clearer to me that there is a moral issue here, but it's not about my size. Right. She told me that my extra weight was actually keeping the glory of God from being recognizable in me. Oh my gosh. I know that mean church. I'm so sorry. She told another woman she needed a breast reduction. I'm like, what? Does that have to do? Yeah, exactly. I don't get it. Oh my gosh. Oh, so it just proves 1 Samuel 16, 7 is true. People look at the outward appearance. They do, they do, but the Lord looks at the heart. Right, right. Thank you, Lord, for looking at my heart. And God has never, no, not ever, ever, ever asked us to fix our bodies to earn his love. Never. And he never will. He already proved his love while we were still sinners. That's from Romans 5:8.

SPEAKER_02: 11:23

Yeah. Wow. When I think with the mind of Christ, I begin to see what really matters. I mean, how do I know? The world is screaming at me every day, all the time. How do I know what really matters to God? I have to go to his word and I have to ask his spirit inside of me. That's the mind of Christ. His kingdom isn't built on six-pack abs or dress sizes. It's not. Go to the word and see if it is. You will not find it. You will not find it. It's built on surrender, humility, and love. That's what it's built on.

SPEAKER_00: 12:03

That makes me think of another verse in Romans chapter 14. I forget which verse it is exactly, but it says the kingdom of God is not about eating and drinking. It's about righteousness, peace, and love, I think, or maybe joy in the Holy Spirit. Wow. I mean, that is not what the world teaches us at all.

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No, it's kind of a whole, it's really the opposite of the world, of what the world teaches us. The very opposite.

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All right. So we've got to address the whole stewardship conversation too, because that's if we've been hanging out in Christian churches for very long, or circles, or some of those are homeschooling things for me. This comes up, we need to be godly stewards of our bodies. A lot of us were taught in church circles that we have to take care of our bodies as an act of worship. And certainly that's true. There's no question that it's true. Right. But let's be honest. Sometimes what's actually being promoted in the name of health and godly stewardship is actually a Christianized version of the world's standards that we are called to not be conform to. That's intense. Oh my goodness. It's like we have hidden the truth beneath Christianity and Christian terms and all of this, but the truth is it's still the world's gospel. It's their gospel. And it's not God's gospel. Things like you've got to be fit to honor the Lord. Um, you've got to lose weight to honor God. Your body is the temple, so make it look amazing. Oh, and the tricky thing is, some of these might even sound like they've got a modicum of truth to them. Yeah, but they've been twisted just a bit to be lies, really. Yeah. Lose weight to honor God. Oh, yeah. You know, he tells us that whether you eat or drink, do all to the glory of God. He doesn't say whether you lose weight or not, do all to the glory of God. I don't know, maybe that's a little off the topic, but anyway.

SPEAKER_02: 14:15

Well, so here's the thing: God does care about our bodies. Yeah. I mean, he made our bodies, he made us fearfully and wonderfully. He calls us his masterpiece. He loves our bodies, and our bodies are amazing. You know, when we really think about our ears and our eyes and and our muscles and the blood flowing through our bodies, that's just incredible. And then you think of, wait a minute, God dwells in us, his Holy Spirit is in us. He wants us to care for our bodies as vessels of his spirit. Absolutely. That is absolutely true. Yeah. But never once does he say, make sure you're a size six so you can glorify me. I mean, where did we get that? You know, where do we get that? From the world. It's so easy for us to be distracted. It's so easy for us to try to take the world's message and meld it in with God's truth. We have to be so careful, all of us. I mean, I know I do, but God's truth is clear. God loves what he made in us. We're actually made in his very image.

SPEAKER_00: 15:30

Thanks for sharing that. First Corinthians 6, 19, and 20 is a verse that is quoted oftentimes in Christian programs to help people get fit, stay fit, lose weight, whatever. But we're gonna put it in its context here. Yeah. So it says, you are not your own, you were bought with a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies. It's about ownership, it's not about appearance. Our bodies aren't our project, they're his, his in every way, shape, and form. Definitely.

SPEAKER_02: 16:08

Yes. So if someone feels led to pursue weight loss for a medical reason or to increase strength and stamina to serve others, that's not a sin. That's not shameful. It comes down to the posture of the heart.

SPEAKER_00: 16:25

And of course, so very often we let the scale define us. And um, so let's ask some hard questions related to this. Do I measure my lovability by how I look or what I weigh? Think about that for a moment. Do I measure my lovability by how I look or what I weigh? Do I see others that way? Have I elevated thinness to a virtue? This is really hitting the issue about why we felt one reason anyway, why we felt we needed to rebrand from thin within to revelation within. We didn't want anybody to think that we are elevating thin above all of the other things that God esteems. Yes. And you know, he esteems those whose hearts belong to him. And not that you have to pick one or the other, but so very often we do. We sacrifice pursuing the Lord and his heart for the sake of what our bodies will look like. Oh, and it's tricky, but I'm just gonna ask those questions again in case you need to hear them again. Do I measure my lovability by how I look or what I weigh? Do I see others that way? Have I elevated thinness to a virtue?

SPEAKER_02: 17:54

Well, these are tender questions. But you know what? If we're honest, many of us have carried this belief that we will be more if we weigh less. But God has already declared that we are his masterpiece in Ephesians 2.10. He has already told us what our worth is and where it comes from. The question has been answered by God himself.

SPEAKER_00: 18:22

And you know what? The fact is, sometimes our bodies do change through illness, medication, trauma. There's a million reasons our bodies might change. Not all weight gain is from overeating. So let's extend grace both to ourselves and to others. It doesn't mean that we're condoning sin. It may not be sin. I mean, and I just have to say right now that when I had quite an extensive medical issue, a definite challenge in my life in 2014, I had to then go on antibiotics for the rest of my life. And I haven't told all of the details of this story ever before, but I'm gonna say it now. Since I was released from the hospital during that time, and after a back surgery and all kinds of rehab to learn how to walk again and so on and so forth, I've been on antibiotics since that time, since 2014. And my weight has escalated and escalated and escalated. And you know what? It hasn't always been in response to what I've eaten. In fact, I can say that probably, oh, the last 50 pounds or so have not been. I don't know. I don't know how much of this weight that I'm carrying. I carry a lot of extra weight. And I don't want to because I know it's a strain for my heart. I know that it's a strain for my joints, but I also know that it is not reflective of my eating right now. I know that. I know that. And it's an extreme situation. It's not everybody's struggle, but not all weight gain is from overeating. So when we judge others or ourselves, it's wrong. It's flat out. That's where the sin is.

SPEAKER_02: 20:10

Yeah, right. Yeah, and I'm finding myself in this really strange position for the first time in my life where I am being treated for breast cancer, and I'm actually concerned about losing too much weight over time. I've got seven months of chemo, which is so hard on the body, and it's difficult to keep your weight where it is during something like that. And I've never thought thoughts like that before. Never. I've always thought the other way. And so, you know, I'm at a healthy size right now, but I'm concerned because I've still got months and months to go. And I want to be sure that my body is as strong as it can be to fight. My body is fighting so hard right now. And like I said, for the first time, I'm thinking, am I going to lose too much weight because I see this all around me in the infusion center where I get my treatment and things like that. And I'm like, Lord, you have brought me full circle. Like, I am at this whole other place now that I never even imagined I would be. And it's giving me a whole different view of what other people might be going through. Really, either way, overweight or underweight, it's kind of the same thing in many ways. It's not always gonna be how you're eating. There are other factors, so many other factors. And we don't know what they are, you know, unless we ask or have a conversation with somebody after we've loved them well.

SPEAKER_00: 21:54

Yeah, they'll say if somebody gave me, why are you so fat?

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Oh, like no.

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No, no, no, no, no, I'm talking about glory of God limited as it emerges from your body. Oh, I can't believe that woman said that.

SPEAKER_02: 22:08

Oh, God.

SPEAKER_00: 22:10

I was in this a similar position in that because of the sickness that I had and what was going on with my body, I lost a dangerous amount of weight. And so the doctors were trying to give me things to add weight to my body. You can't tell somebody who was so disordered with their eating years before that they need to gain weight, gain weight, gain weight.

SPEAKER_02: 22:33

Somebody told me once, and I I love this if you find yourself for any reason pointing your finger at someone else, even if it's not like you know, your actual finger, you're doing it in your mind or in, you know, that kind of thing, before you think another thought, turn that finger to yourself and figure out what is going on. Why am I in this position? Uh, why am I judging this other person? Something is going on with myself, something is not right with my soul. That is not the mind of Christ. No. So 1 Corinthians 2.16 tells us that we've been given the mind of Christ. We want to think with his mind. Philippians 2.5 says, Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus. And 2 Corinthians 10.5 tells us, take every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ. When I think with the mind of Christ, these are some of the questions that come up. What does God say about me? Am I following his lead or am I following the world's pattern? Is my desire to lose weight coming from insecurity or stewardship?

SPEAKER_00: 23:57

Good questions.

SPEAKER_02: 23:58

Yeah, those are good questions.

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Run through them again in case somebody needs to hear them again.

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What does he say about me? He being God. Am I following his lead or am I following the world's pattern? Is my desire to lose weight coming from insecurity or from stewardship?

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And then we want to listen because if we ask him that, yes, and the answer is insecurity, that's not the time for shame, which is often where we go. Right. But it is the time for truth. Truth that says you are fearfully and wonderful made. Psalm 139.14. You are chosen, holy, and dearly loved. Colossians 3:12. You are not your body, you are his. Romans 14.

SPEAKER_02: 24:50

Does it really say that, Heidi? Yeah. I love that verse. That's amazing, amazing. And you know what? If you want more of those, we have a resource for you. We have a whole list that we call our Who Am I in Christ list. And it is one of my favorite go-tos when I get confused or start believing lies about this subject.

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You'll find that at teamlife is good.com forward slash identity. TeamLifisgood.com forward slash identity. And you will be able to download that list of who I am in Christ.

SPEAKER_02: 25:26

Thank you, Heidi. Awesome. Okay, so we have some reflection questions that we want to close with. And these are questions that we've asked ourselves. I mean, we are in this boat with you. And we ask God too. Because He's the one that knows me better than I know myself. Yeah, exactly, exactly. So these are questions that you might want to take to God in a quiet moment and just have a conversation, as if you're talking with your best friend, because you are. You are okay. The first one, why do I want to lose weight?

SPEAKER_00: 26:02

Yeah, and that one, you know, if you come up with an answer too quick, maybe slow down and ask the Lord to speak very clearly to you about it. Because He knows. Another question you can ask him is where did I learn that I needed to look a certain way to be worthy? Here's here's something kind of related to that second question, too, is in our From Shame to Shalom class that we have, we are looking at uh what the Lord said. His his question to Adam and Eve after they had um you know done something they shouldn't have, they had eaten the fruit. He's he asked them, who told you that you were naked? Who told you? Yeah. And in our case, maybe who told you you aren't lovable the way that you are? Right. Who told you that you have to be, I don't know, whatever weight is stuck in your head that you need to get to? I mean, I am floored. How many different people among us have a number in their heads? And it's a really good question. Who told you that that's the number that's perfect for you? Who told you that? Where did we learn that we need to look a certain way to be worthy?

SPEAKER_02: 27:16

Yeah. Another question Am I using the same standard to judge others?

SPEAKER_00: 27:22

Oh, you don't want to be a mean church lady. No, no, no, because that's what we end up being when we, you know, use those standards to judge others. Yeah. I mean, we have not walked in anybody else's shoes for sure. And Romans 14 also addresses this. It's like God tells us in that chapter not to judge another man's servant. All right. So here's another question to think on and pray through. What would it look like to think about this, weight loss or not, with the mind of Christ? Yeah. Really big question. It is, it is. And for years, I've felt so obsessed with all of this stuff, weight loss and maintaining and muscle building, and uh on and on and on. It went. Am I getting more definition or am I getting more bulk? And all these crazy questions about my body. What would it look like to think about this with the mind of Christ? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 28:22

We have whole classes about this in Revelation within, and they are fantastic. Yeah. Okay. And am I willing to let God lead even in this? Good question, right? I mean, how many years did I say, nope? Lord, you stay over there. I'll work on this, and then we'll come together when I've figured it out. Not even close. You know, there's no freedom there, there's no peace there.

SPEAKER_00: 28:55

Well, friend, it's okay to ask these questions. It's more than okay, really. It's okay to bring them to God. Again, it's more than okay. Bringing these questions to God is a great idea. He's not afraid of them. He's not waiting for you to fix your body. Would you get it right, please? No, he doesn't say that to you. He is longing for your heart, for your heart to belong to him completely, for your heart to be his, yeah, for your heart to be free. How much of our heart burden is because we put these things on ourselves? I have to be this size, I have to be this shape, this fitness level, I have to eat this way, I have to do this before that reunion, I have to do this before we go on that cruise, or whatever it might be, or before the holiday season. Which is where we are right now. Yes, we are on the cusp of well, even now you walk through Costco and you see holidays, have a ride.

SPEAKER_02: 29:52

God is longing for our hearts. Yeah. So this might have really stirred something up in you. If you want to walk this out in community with others who really get it, we would love to invite you into our Revelation Within community. Oh my gosh, we have an amazing, amazing group of people there. They are amazing. Oh, I love them so much. You will find grace, truth, lots and lots of practical tools, and a whole lot of freedom in our community.

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We will be back with another episode, but until then, renew your mind because that's what God wants us to do in order to experience transformation. Surrender your body and your heart. Be at peace in the one who made you.

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We are so glad that you have been here with us today, and we hope that you will join us for our next episode of Revelation Within.

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We both have arms in the air.