Welcome And Recap

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Hi, and welcome to our podcast, Revelation Within on the Go. I'm Heidi Bielsma Epherson, one of your hosts, and the owner and lead coach of the Revelation Within Ministry.

SPEAKER_00 0:15

And I'm Christina Motley, your other host, also a Revelation Within coach, and Heidi Carter in all things Revelation Within. We are so happy to invite you to join us for this episode of Revelation Within.

SPEAKER_01 0:37

We're so glad you're here. In our last episode, we talked honestly about the ways we've learned to live what we called disembodied. Disembodied. That's kind of creepy sounding like it. It does sound creepy. Yeah. We're not talking about Halloween or anything like that. But um, yeah, just if you haven't heard those episodes yet, we named patterns like pushing through instead of noticing what's going on inside of us. We spoke about numbing instead of engaging. Yeah. We spoke of overriding instead of listening. We spoke of disconnecting instead of being present. Hopefully that helps give some idea of what we're talking about when we say disembodied. We also said something else that we think we we don't want anybody to miss, that these patterns that we just shared again, um, they don't come from a place of failure. No, no, no, no, they come from learning how to survive. Many of us have had all kinds of challenging experiences in our in our lives, you know. What we some of us have been alive a long time. Some of us all experience challenges. So as we learn to survive, we come up with coping mechanisms, and that's what some of those are. But we also saw this that what helped us survive does not lead us into life, right?

SPEAKER_00 2:20

Right. So, so true. So, and we want to bring us back for just a moment to what we saw in episode one. So we walked through scripture and we saw again and again and again that God created us as embodied beings. Our bodies are part of our worship, actually. And I think we said this last time without our bodies, we wouldn't be here. We wouldn't have a life, we wouldn't be here on this planet, right? Jesus Himself lived fully present in his body, and even in eternity, the body is not discarded but redeemed.

unknown 3:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:04

So this really, really matters. This is not like kind of a side conversation, you know, that we'll come back to next fall.

unknown 3:13

No.

SPEAKER_00 3:14

Um, this is about living in alignment with how God made us.

SPEAKER_01 3:21

And and the truth is because when we live disembodied, kind of like disconnected, or many people know the word disassociated. Right, right. Yeah. Um, that's kind of a more familiar term. When we live that way, we don't stop having needs. Right. We just lose connection to them. Wow. And when we lose connection to what's actually happening inside of us, that's when we begin to reach for things that were never meant to satisfy us. So it's kind of true. So true.

SPEAKER_00 3:56

It's really, really important, actually.

SPEAKER_01 3:58

It's super duper important. And that's where so many of the struggles that we talk about in this ministry begin to make sense. When we're disconnected, we often turn to food or scrolling, distraction, control, thriving, numbing, right, etc. etc. etc. etc. Right. And it's not because we're out of control necessarily, but because we're trying to meet a need we don't fully understand. We don't fully understand it because we've disconnected from our own needs and our own self.

Desire And Disconnection In Scripture

SPEAKER_00 4:32

Yeah, right, right. You know, we're coming at this from a place of understanding in our own lives and compassion because, like we said before, this is a need. This is what we need. We we're trying to survive. Um, it's not like, oh, I'm so out of control, you know, what am I doing? Oh, you know, we're not condemning, we're in a place of understanding. That's where we're coming at this uh from. So let's go to James 1, 14 and 15. Each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Oh, that word lured makes me think of fishing. But you know, there it is. So there's something happening inside of us. That's what's going on. Something is happening inside of us, but if we are not aware of it, we can't bring it to God. Not if we're not aware of it. I mean, we'll just keep going in the same way. I know I've experienced that before. And it's like something is off and I don't know what it is. So instead, because you know we're not aware of it, we act on it.

SPEAKER_01 5:45

Isaiah 55, verse 2 says, Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread and your labor for that which does not satisfy? This is a really clear picture of reaching for things that don't cut it, they don't satisfy. And the reason we do that is because we're disconnected from what actually would satisfy.

SPEAKER_00 6:08

Yeah, that makes sense. So living embodied is not about becoming more self-focused. Let's be self-focused. It's all about me. I'm gonna figure this out. Me, me, me. This is I'm gonna make a plan. No, no, it's not. No, it's and maybe maybe you will feel relieved when you hear us say, that's not what it's about. That feels like relief to me, actually. Me too. It's about becoming more truth aware, more aware of truth. It's about recognizing what's actually happening inside so that we can bring it into the presence of God instead of automatically trying to fix it ourselves.

SPEAKER_01 6:56

Oh, I like that idea. I don't need to do so well when I'm trying to fix things myself. I definitely need one who is much wiser, much better, much gooder, much gooder. Um, you know, I mean, yeah, definitely need somebody else to do this.

SPEAKER_00 7:16

Well, it takes takes that burden off of us. It's like, oh, it's so heavy. I gotta figure this out. I don't know what to do. I'm overwhelmed. I think I'll just distract, disassociate, disembody.

SPEAKER_01 7:31

Yeah, all those disorders.

SPEAKER_00 7:33

Exactly. Oh my goodness. And and we get that.

Jesus As A Model Of Embodiment

SPEAKER_01 7:37

Yeah, definitely. Uh, let's get a glimpse of how Jesus lived in John chapter four, verses six and seven. It says, it tells us that Jesus, wearied as he was from his journey, was sitting beside the well. Now, I mean, this is an interesting ver part of a verse to look at because it's like, well, where's the power-packed truth in this? No, what we're trying to look at is Jesus was connected with his body's needs, right? He was weary from his journey, so he sat down.

unknown 8:14

Right, exactly. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:21

He noticed his own physical state, he didn't ignore it, he didn't override it. He lived in awareness of it and made choices accordingly. And some of us have stopped doing that, uh, or we don't do it very often. We just kind of push on through. I mean, many of us when we're tired, we don't go to bed until we finish this or that task. Many of us, when we know we've had plenty of time to do X, Y, or Z, push through to just waste more time. I mean, it's like, oh, or we eat more than we know we need, and we're feeling miserable, or we don't eat when we need to eat. All kinds of things are examples of not listening to our bodies. Jesus gives us a wonderful example of one who perfectly embodied.

SPEAKER_00 9:08

Matthew 26, 38. My soul is very sorrowful, even to death. Jesus named again here what was happening inside of him. He didn't disconnect from it. He didn't say, Oh, you know what? I'm good, I'm fine.

unknown 9:25

He didn't do that.

SPEAKER_00 9:27

I'm okay. He didn't do that. Instead, he brought it into relationship with the father. This is embodied living. This is what it is.

SPEAKER_01 9:40

Well, if you can identify with what we're talking about as one who might be living a little bit disembodied, um, how do we begin to return to ourselves, so to speak? Uh, where God wants us to connect with our own bodies with what's going on with us. It may not happen all at once and it may not happen perfectly, but there are several practices that we want to share with you that can help with this. I know a lot about this practice of disembodied, that's for sure. Um, and to be honest with you, I think a lot of it was triggered in 2014 by the medical crisis I had with my body. My body had been used for all kinds of wonderful activities all my life. I'd been very athletic and very active. And then in 2014, when I had this medical crisis, um, everything came to a screeching halt. I lost the use of my legs, I couldn't walk. And since that time, my life has changed drastically. And it's almost like I hold it against my body. You know, the truth is my body kept me alive through a very severe staph infection that was inside my body and my bone, my backbone. And so I I tend not to celebrate that. And I I am grateful that I'm still alive, certainly, because it could have taken my life. Yeah. But it's like, what happened to you, body? You stopped doing what I told you to do. But really, it had some, it had a lot of new needs and has a lot of new needs. Even now, I struggle a lot with it. And so I am in the process of practicing these steps as well. Um, so maybe you could join me. Practice one is notice without judgment. And and basically it's just starting with simple awareness, like that's interesting. My uh my right leg is doing something I'm not asking it to do. Oh dear. Well, that's true too. It's called pro-preoception, where you you don't know where you are in space. And some of us are like that for a variety of reasons, but it you know, just being aware and and several times kind of foster this awareness by asking, okay, what is happening in my body right now? Am I tense? Am I tired? Am I overwhelmed? And sitting with those questions and letting it be okay, that there's no rescue that comes instantly. It's just fostering awareness. Awareness is where it has to begin. And and just, you know, sitting with the Lord in that moment, letting it last a few minutes, even. Yes, yes. I do not like that. I tell you what, it's hard for so here's a scripture. Um, Psalm 139, verses 23 and 24. This is perfect for those moments when you're going to connect with yourself and figure out how I am doing, what is going on? Search me, oh God, and know my heart and see if there be any grievous way in me. This is really this verse is an example of and an invitation into awareness with God.

SPEAKER_00 13:06

I love that. It is, it is. Practice number two is naming what is true. Um, not what you think should be happening, but what actually is happening. So sometimes it helps us so much just to name it. I'm actually feeling really anxious right now. What's going on? Like I'm naming it. That that's that first step really helps. Well, I guess the first step is to be aware. Second step is to name it. I'm feeling pressure right now, or I feel disconnected, or whatever it is, to be able to name it is actually a really big deal. It really, really helps. Without being able to name it, we don't know how to bring it to the Lord, we don't know how to pray about it, or tell someone who's around us, I'm feeling like this. I need to talk about it for a minute. So Psalm 32, verses three through five. When I kept silent, my bones wasted away. Then I acknowledged my sin to you. So there it is. Acknowledgement brings movement, but silence and avoidance, that's that's what keeps us stuck.

Pause Before Comfort Then Pray

SPEAKER_01 14:23

Yeah. Just a counterfeit. Yeah, before reaching for a coping behavior, before reaching for the phone. Pause and ask, what is actually going on right now? Invite the Lord to show you what do I actually need. Is texting my best friend really the answer? Well, that's one of my go-to's for sure. Proverbs 19, too says, desire without knowledge is not good. Think about that one for a minute. Desire without knowledge is not good without real awareness, especially awareness that God gives us, desire can lead us in the wrong direction. We don't want to go there. We don't want to have this uh disembodiment experience lead us flat out into walking into a gutter or off a cliff.

SPEAKER_00 15:34

No, yeah, walking into a gutter off a cliff. Oh man. Well, um, and Heidi just mentioned in her own experience kind of what she's dealing with uh now with disembodiment. And for me, it kind of looks like you know, what I mentioned earlier when I said, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm okay, everything's fine. It's like I'm trying to convince myself. And I've also mentioned before, you know, in in another podcast, probably that my go-tos for years and years have been food first and then the phone, which you just said, Heidi, call a friend, you know, and so this next practice, number four, is bring it to God first, which is is something that still does not come naturally to me. I have to be really intentional about it. Uh, I've come a long way, but yeah, you know, I used to call call friends until somebody was home. I mean, it was like I was desperate. Instead of immediately turning to something else, I want to turn to him. We want to turn to him, even just briefly. We want to invite God into what's happening. He's with us, he loves us, he's our best friend, he calls us his own, he calls us by name. He's our first number one go-to. Psalm 34, 17 and 18 says, When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted. So he meets us in what is real, not what we pretend. Which, yeah, that's something that I've become really good at over the years is pretending I can do it, I'm okay, I can push through, I'm gonna make it, you can count on me. And then by the time I get home in the evening, I'm like flattened emotionally, physically, you know, in every way and looking for comfort. It turns me into a person that needs so much more comfort than if I had been dealing with things as they came and bringing them to the Lord, even for just a few minutes.

When Overwhelm Triggers Numbing

Baby Steps With Gratitude Titration

SPEAKER_01 17:46

Yeah. I just want to share for a moment uh an example that some people might be able to relate to. This happened to me this week. You know, I've been going through a season of a lot of rapid fire need to attend to other people in my family who I love. And um, you know, deep concerns about, I mean, because Christina and I don't even live in the same state, but as she's been navigating the cancer and uh experienced a lot of victories along the way, I have you know been concerned for her. My husband has had prostate cancer, he's been navigating at the same time, and um my son has had some difficulties that's that that have taken him into the hospital. Um it's just has felt overwhelming. And so a couple of nights ago, and I got an email from my sister, who's you know, she's uh she's in her mid-70s and I've always been feisty as I'll get out, but she's also been battling a very aggressive kind of cancer that has a hold of her, but has kind of come and gone in intensity. I got a letter from her saying that it was back with a vengeance. And I I just the way I responded was I just totally shut down. It was it, I didn't I didn't say I I responded to the email. I well, I probably asked Chat GPT to help me with that, to be honest, but there was nothing. I had nothing, I had nothing, nothing left. And so I responded to her email, and then I just shut down. I shut down for the rest of the day, turned on I actually played a game and turned on a show at the same time. Um food and drink weren't a part of that for me, which I'm grateful that I found other ways to numb out. But the point is, is what and when I was talking to a real helpful friend this week, she said, What were you hoping to experience instead of what was there? And I said, I just wanted everything to go away. I wanted life to go away. Yeah, I want every I want everybody's needs to go away, and I want my own needs to go away. And I that's just it's like no, I don't want to feel, I don't want to feel, and yet God gave us our feelings to be a very important indicator of a lot of things, including our need of him. And it's not that I've shut him out, I haven't shut him out, but it's like if I numb out, I'm numbing to everything beautiful too, not challenges. I mean, think about when you when you go to the dentist and then he numbs the he or she numbs that part of your mouth that that they're gonna be working on, you your your whole mouth is numbed to anything. Yes, and that's kind of the way our hearts are and our minds, too, to be honest with you. We can't just numb to the challenges, we end up numbing to even the beautiful things, and the artist's present for them as well, and that just makes me so sad. But anyway, I am thankful that at this point in the week I'm able to identify that that this has been a pattern that I've developed over the course of probably since 2014, you know, that I mentioned the health crisis. I think that and you know, that was followed by a lot of big trials that came my way. And so I I didn't want to, I wanted to go to Disneyland instead. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, so I just I I love that the Lord is uh present for us, He understands the challenges. Yes, and what we're trying to encourage you with those four practices that we've given you. I'm gonna go over them really quickly again, just say what they are. The first one was notice without judgment, the second one is name what is true, invite God in to show you um the third. The third practice is pause before comfort, before a coping behavior. And then the fourth one is bring it to the Lord, inviting him in. And what is so wonderful about this, it's not behavior management. It's really not it's relational living. It's living by walking with the Lord. It's not stop doing that.

SPEAKER_00 22:25

Right.

SPEAKER_01 22:26

Which can sound so negative and punitive, and then I want comfort because you're hurting my feelings and I'm doing it to myself. And so it's right. But instead, it's Jesus' own voice saying, Come back and bring come to me, come to yourself too. Because in a very real way, I have disconnected from what is real in my life. And I want to come back with the Lord and bring what is real.

SPEAKER_00 22:56

Heidi, thank you for sharing that so vulnerably today. Took a lot of courage. Well, it's hard. It's hard, it's hard, it's hard. But like you said, it brings life when we come back. It it brings life, it's life-giving when we turn back to the Lord. And we can just turn back in in little bits. It doesn't have to be all at once or some big overwhelming mountain. Returning to the Lord again and again. And I don't know if this is true for you. I think it is though, Heidi. But for me, I feel like when I return to him, there's the sweetness. And then I want a little more. And then I return again and I want more. And I return again. And I realize that his comfort and his wisdom and his strength and peace and grace and all the things that he has for us is so much better than for me, pretending that I'm okay and pretending that my feelings don't really exist. Well, I'm not sad. I'm fine. Well, I'm not overwhelmed. I'm fine. You know, for me, that's been the challenge really ever since I was a teenager. And, you know, living in a home where my mom was very much emotionally a wild card. Um, so I started holding my feelings back, plastered on a smile, and did everything on my own, in my own strength. And it works for a while when you're trying to survive. And then after a while, you realize I'm drained. Like I actually, I actually hate this. I'm more tired than I was before. Because pretending is exhausting. And that's kind of how it shows up in my life with pretending. Yeah. Well, so this week we want to encourage you to just practice just a little tiny, tiny bit. It can be baby steps. Practice noticing, practice naming, practice pausing, and then practice bringing it to God, even for just a minute, not perfectly, but honestly. And you know, one of my favorite things to do, I'm just gonna share this because some of you might be thinking, bringing it to God is way too much right now. You don't know what I'm dealing with, and you don't know how hard this is, you know. Bringing it to God feels like I'm gonna open this huge box of emotions and I'll never be able to close it again. It's it's like it's just gonna overwhelm me. So, one of my favorite things to do with this when I'm feeling overwhelmed is just to go to gratitude. And I'm talking lighthearted gratitude, you know, little things like my my fluffy, cozy, silly dog, you know, going to gratitude about her. She's laying right here next to me, snoring. We both have a fluffy, yeah, silly. I know, and it's so good.

SPEAKER_01 25:58

And so everybody needs a fluffy, silly got dog, you know.

SPEAKER_00 26:01

Well, yeah. And the thing is, I could practice gratitude for like five, 10 minutes just about my dog.

SPEAKER_02 26:09

Yeah.

Ancient Path Rest And Closing

SPEAKER_00 26:11

I get it, right? Just about Ella, and for you it's blue. And so you could pick something that's so light and so easy to bring to God and do that first, and then, you know, tell him a little bit about your emotions, what you're dealing with, and then go right back to the big fluffy dog or whatever it is in your life. And that's that is called titrating, but it really helps because it's not so overwhelming, it's just a baby step. You know, Lord, I was really feeling anxious yesterday when XYZ happened. Back to the fluffy dog. Um, and it's it's it's beautiful. And I I feel like, well, gratitude is mentioned so much in the word of God. It's like he's saying, Look, when you thank me, it makes you feel better. When you appreciate those little things, it helps you. Let's just start there. You know, God is so loving, He's not in a rush, He's not gonna push us, He's not waiting for perfection, but just honesty, just honesty.

SPEAKER_01 27:21

Jeremiah 6, 16 says, Stand by the roads and look and ask for the ancient paths and walk and find rest for your souls. Oh, really embodied living is not some new age thing, ancient path. It's an ancient path. I love that. Yeah, it's one that God originated, he built us that way, and it leads to rest for your soul.

SPEAKER_00 27:53

It does. So, in the next episode, we're gonna talk about what this looks like when life is full, when emotions are strong, when habits feel automatic, and how to walk this out in real time. So, for now, you don't have to force anything, you don't have to fix anything. Just begin to come back into the life that God has already given you. Yes, you'll meet you there. We'll meet you there, we'll meet you there, and we're we're gonna feel better when we get there. It's gonna feel good. Um, so we are so glad you've been here today. We're so glad. And we would love to invite you to join us for our next episode of Revelation Within. Thanks for being here.