Revelation Within On the Go!

Loud Longings: Part 1 – What Are You Really Thirsting For?

Heidi Bylsma-Epperson and Christina Motley Season 3 Episode 22

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In this first episode of our Loud Longings series, we explore a different way of looking at longing. Instead of treating it as a problem to fix, we ask what if that ache is actually pointing us toward something deeper. We share a simple breath prayer—“Lord Jesus” on the inhale, “meet me in my longing” on the exhale—and reflect on Psalm 42, where the psalmist openly acknowledges a deep thirst for God. Together, we consider how spiritual longing is not something to fear, but a part of how we were created.

We also talk about the connection between longing, emotional eating, compulsive behaviors, and other ways we try to numb discomfort. Rather than asking, “What’s wrong with me?” we invite a more honest question: “What am I truly longing for right now?” Looking at Jesus’ encounter with the Samaritan woman in John 4, we see how He meets thirsty people with compassion and offers Himself as the source of lasting satisfaction. We discuss common substitutes such as food, scrolling, busyness, achievement, control, and even ministry activity, and offer a simple practice for when cravings get loud: pause, notice, and pray, “Jesus, meet me here.”

If you want a Christian podcast approach to cravings, shame resilience, and deeper intimacy with God, press play. Subscribe, share with a friend who feels stuck, and leave a review so more thirsty hearts can find this conversation.

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Welcome And New Series Preview

SPEAKER_01

Hi, and welcome to our podcast, Revelation Within on the Go. I'm Heidi Bilesman Epherson, one of your hosts, and the owner and lead coach of the Revelation Within Ministry.

SPEAKER_00

And I'm Christina Motley, your other host, also a Revelation Within coach, and Heidi's partner in all things Revelation Within. We are so happy to invite you to join us for this episode of Revelation Within. Yay! Come on in, come join us. We're so glad you're here.

SPEAKER_01

We are glad you're here. Definitely. We are beginning a new series this week. We're gonna do our first episode in it this week. And it's based kind of in a new, well, not kind of, it is based in a new curriculum we've created for um our Escape from Secrets and Strongholds class and also our community.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, and it's so fabulous. It's so fabulous. I absolutely love it. It's one of my favorite things you've ever done, you and the Lord, Heidi. And I'm coming alongside and helping you with it.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I'm glad you are. It wouldn't be the same without you. Wouldn't have that extra pizzazz, that extra kick, that extra seasoning.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, some sparkle, sparkle.

SPEAKER_01

Sparkle, spark, silly me. So we just want to welcome you to loud longings, holy god.

SPEAKER_00

Yes.

SPEAKER_01

And this is where we bring our loud longings honestly before Jesus.

SPEAKER_00

Yes.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, I'm so glad we're doing this.

SPEAKER_00

Me too. Me too. It's really, you've done a great job, Heidi, with this one. You really have. Yeah, it's so good. It's really hit my heart. It's really hit my heart.

SPEAKER_01

It's been a journey for me as well and continues to be. Every time we reiterate it, you know, it's like, okay, for this coaching group or for this class or for these podcasts, yeah. It's like, wow, Lord, you just keep speaking to me.

SPEAKER_00

Yes.

SPEAKER_01

So what it is for those of you who have no idea, which is most everybody, yeah, this is a contemplative journey into longing, into comfort, craving, yeah, into surrender. And the God who meets us beneath it all.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, love that.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, he meets us there. And so wherever you're listening from today, whether you feel weary, hungry, overwhelmed, restless, hopeful, numb, you are welcome here. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yes.

SPEAKER_01

All

Breath Prayer For Honest Longing

SPEAKER_01

right. So before we begin, we're just gonna slow down a minute together just to recognize that we're standing in the presence of Holy God. Yes, and He receives us with all of our mess-ups, our foibles, our warts, our wrinkles, our spots, our blemishes, all the good stuff, all the not so good stuff. So let's take a slow breath in and exhale slowly. We're gonna do a breath prayer together now. And on our inhale, we're gonna simply say Lord Jesus, and on the exhale, we're gonna say, meet me in my longing. And we'll do that two or three times. So you ready? Yes.

SPEAKER_00

Yay! Ready.

SPEAKER_01

All right, let's go ahead and inhale and say Lord Jesus. Lord Jesus and exhale. Meet me in my longing. And inhale. Lord Jesus. Jesus. Exhale. Meet me in my longing. One more time. Inhale.

SPEAKER_00

Lord Jesus.

SPEAKER_01

Jesus. Exhale. Meet me in my longing. Lord, thank you that you do. You meet us in our longing. And I pray that you'd open our hearts wide to hear from you today. In Jesus' name. Amen.

SPEAKER_00

Amen. Amen.

Psalm 42 And Thirst Without Shame

SPEAKER_00

Okay, so let's go to Psalm 42. Why not? I love this Psalm. Let's go to Psalm 42, verses one and two. As the deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, oh God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. Oh my gosh. I love this passage. And you know what I love? One of the things I love about it is that the psalm does not apologize for thirst. Right. The psalmist doesn't say, I shouldn't need, or I shouldn't long, or I shouldn't ache. No, he says, my soul thirsts. I just, I love that. It brings it right out in the open. We thirst, we do.

SPEAKER_01

We do. There's no doubt about it. And I think for many years, especially in conversations about struggling with overeating or food struggles of any kind or compulsive behaviors, I don't know about you all, but we've treated longing itself like it's an enemy.

SPEAKER_00

Yes. Yes, we have.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, as though the goal was to become someone who no longer wants anything.

SPEAKER_00

That's true, you know. That is the way so many of us.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, I know I have looked at the as though the goal is to be someone who no longer aches, who no longer feels hunger. But here's the thing: scripture paints a completely different picture. Human beings, you and I, all of us, were created with a capacity for longing. Yes. We were made to thirst. The question is not, will I long? The question is, where will I take my longing? Where will I go with it? Yeah. Where will I let it take me? Yes.

SPEAKER_00

Well, and that shift feels so important, doesn't it? Because many, many people listening today probably carry shame about wanting things so deeply. You know, that pull, that really, really strong pull in the moment. We feel shame about that, whether it's food, comfort, relief, control, rest, affection, escape, soothing, any of those things. And the list can go on and on.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, it can.

SPEAKER_00

What if longing itself is not evidence that you are failing? What if longing is actually revealing something sacred? Wow.

SPEAKER_01

I love that. Say that again because that's a really important question to go forward with.

SPEAKER_00

What if longing is actually revealing something sacred?

SPEAKER_01

Hmm.

Jesus As Living Water

SPEAKER_01

One of the things I love about Jesus, about the scriptures, yes, is that Jesus never shamed thirsty people. No. In fact, he consistently moved toward them. And one of the most beautiful examples, I'm smiling ear to ear because I I just love this story. It's found in John 4 with the Samaritan woman at the well. So here's a woman with deep thirst, relational thirst, emotional thirst, spiritual thirst. And she probably had physical thirst going on too. Well, it's good. And Jesus says to her, Whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. Not because she would never experience desire again, but because he himself, Jesus, would become the source beneath her long.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I just love what he says about himself and how he offers such beautiful gifts.

SPEAKER_00

Well, and that's such an important distinction. Jesus doesn't merely offer better coping strategies. He's like, okay, here's a flyer. You can come, you know, sign up for my class. 10 steps to not feeling thirsty, you know. No, not at all, not at all. Instead, he offers himself, which is what he always does. If you look throughout scripture and you kind of look at those interactions that he had between himself and other people, this is always what he does. He offers himself, his own heart, everything that he has, he offers it. And he is the living water. He talks about himself as living water, which goes along perfectly with the whole thirst thing, of course. Um, not temporary relief, not numbing, not distraction. We're talking about relationship here, communion, presence. Oh my goodness. Yes.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, yes. And I think so many of us have spent years trying to get our deeper needs met. We just have this big empty pit in our heart. It's but but it's like it's a round hole, and we keep trying to fit a square peg in there through things that were never designed to fit in our heart and satisfy. We look for things that were never intended to carry that kind of responsibility, whether it's food or scrolling, um, being busy, busy, busy, busy. You know, it's so funny in our society. We hear all the time about how um, you know, the the people are too busy and we stay our adrenaline is like just going constantly, cortisol is rushing through our systems, and we need to chill. But you know, truly it's also celebrated. Oh, she's such a busy person, and that's such a good thing. Ah, we use busyness sometimes to satisfy an ache in us, to numb that ache, really is what it is. Some of us use achievement, some control, and even dare I say it, church activities and ministry and things like that. We often use those things to try to meet longings that we have, those deeper needs. Not because we're terrible people or don't love Jesus enough, but because we are thirsty people and thirsty people search for relief.

SPEAKER_00

Of course, of course

The Gentle Question Behind Cravings

SPEAKER_00

they do.

SPEAKER_01

I think one of the most life-changing questions that I can ask myself, and that I have recently really begun to ask myself, is what am I truly longing for right now? You know, it's not like what's wrong with me. Why can't I get it together? That's not it. It's a gentle question. What am I truly longing for right now? Dare I say it again? It's with curious compassion. Not what's wrong with me, not what why can't I get it together, but what is happening underneath this urge, this urge, this longing. Maybe beneath a craving is exhaustion or loneliness. There's a list of things that goes on and on. It might even be fear, it might be comfort, it might be rest, it might be tenderness, reassurance, connection. Maybe I'm longing for somebody to really hear me, to really see me. And maybe Jesus is not standing at a distance condemning us for that longing. No, I don't think he is condemning us. But here's a thought many of us don't slow down long enough to think maybe he is inviting us to bring our longing, our craving, our urges to him.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, I love that. Well, that that's what that changes everything, what you just said. I mean, turning flipping this around into an invitation from the Lord, that changes everything because then the goal is not self-rejection, the goal becomes deeper honesty and deeper communion with Jesus. And we we long for that. We do, we really long for that. That's really where our longing is.

SPEAKER_01

So I don't know. Oh, I think Christine and I want to say something directly to the person listening who may feel ashamed of how needy they are. Yes, Jesus isn't repelled by your longing, no, he's not irritated by your weakness. Irritate, I can't picture an irritated Jesus. He called himself the bread of life, living water, a refuge, yes, rest for the weary. Again and again throughout the gospels, Jesus moved toward hungry people, toward thirsty people, toward desperate people, yes, toward people who cannot hold themselves together. Are you feeling encouraged by this fact? I am.

SPEAKER_00

I am too. I love that. I love that we can see that throughout scripture.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and maybe part of our healing, our really truly deep healing begins when we stop hiding our thirst or trying to hide our thirst from the very one who came to meet us inside of it.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, yes, thank you for saying that, Heidi. So important. Um, so this week, we simply want to invite you to notice, not fix anything, don't get in fix it mode, or not perform and definitely don't panic. Just notice. It's it's a little tiny baby step, really. When longing gets loud this week, and it probably will, it it does for all of us, I think. When that longing gets loud, pause for a moment and ask what am I truly thirsty for right now? And then gently pray, Jesus, meet me here.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, that feels so peaceful compared to what I normally do, which is like just read myself the right act.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, we're so good at that. It's so many of us, it's our default just to be so critical of ourselves.

SPEAKER_01

Which then, of course, causes me to need comfort, which then takes me to more behaviors that I end up feeling like I need to read myself the riot act over.

SPEAKER_00

It does.

SPEAKER_01

But what if all of that is intended to lead me closer to Jesus, to experience intimacy with him at a whole new level? Right at a whole new level.

SPEAKER_00

Yes.

Closing Prayer And Send Off

SPEAKER_01

Let's just pray for a minute, okay? Lord Jesus, thank you that you are not ashamed of our longing. Thank you that you created us with thirst for a reason. Teach us not to run from our ache or try to numb out to it, but to bring it honestly into your presence, Lord, where we have searched for relief and smaller things that were never intended to satisfy. Draw us gently back to yourself. Be our living water, be our true comfort, be our peace. Amen.

SPEAKER_00

Amen. And you know, wherever longing feels loud for you this week, may you discover, may we discover that Jesus is nearer than you imagined. He's right there, he's just right there, and maybe, just maybe, he's inviting you into deeper relationship. Something to explore, just a little tiny baby step. We are so glad that you've been here today. So glad. And we hope that you'll join us for our next episode of Revelation Within. See you next time.

SPEAKER_01

Bye bye. Bye bye.