Welcome And Series Focus

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Hi, and welcome to our podcast, Revelation Within on the Go. I am Heidi Wildma Emerson, one of your hosts, and the elderly coach of the Revelation Within Ministry.

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And I'm Christina Motley, your other host, also a Revelation Within coach, and Heidi's partner in all things Revelation Within. We are so happy to invite you to join us for this episode of Revelation Within. We're glad you're here.

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Come on in. Come on in and sit right down. Yes. Well, we're in the middle of a series that we're calling Loud Longings Holy God. And today we're going to gently explore something many of us have never really considered before. Are you intrigued?

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Leaning forward.

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Leaning in. Yeah, leaning in, leaning in. Well, what if in moments of craving or reaching for something? It's not all of you or all of me wanting that something. What if it's just a part of you or a part of me that's reaching? So we're gonna talk about

Breath Prayer To Settle

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that. Before we begin, let's settle for just a moment.

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Sounds good. Let's just take a slow breath in wherever you are, whatever you're doing. If you're driving, keep your eyes on the road. Slow breath in. And exhale slowly. Okay, and we have a breath prayer for you. We're gonna inhale and say, here I am. And we're gonna exhale and say with all of me. Inhale. Here I am. Exhale with all of me. Let's do that again. Inhale. Here I am. Exhale with all of me. One more time. Inhale. Here I am. Exhale with all of me. Awesome. Thank you for doing that with us. We

God Near The Brokenhearted

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we want to begin today with Psalm 34, 18. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. I think many of us assume that God draws near to the strong parts of us. You know, that that's where he's drawn. The polished parts, you know, the parts that are like spiritually mature. But this verse says something very different. He is near to the brokenhearted. Near. He uses the word near here. Not irritated, not ashamed, not distant.

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Hmm. I don't know. That sounds like pretty good news to me.

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Yeah, I love that. I just love thinking about that.

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There's not many parts of me that are polished or spiritually mature. Oh dear.

When Longing Feels All-Consuming

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Oh one of the things that I've realized over the years is that my cravings can feel incredibly consuming. Yes. Like overwhelming and strong. Like there is no fighting it. Just give in. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And it kind of comes in like waves, sort of, but like all of me wants this. All of me is out of control. All of me is desperate for relief. But what I'm realizing, and more now, as I'm giving it extra thought in the most recent months, if I slow down long enough to notice, often it is not all of me. Right. Yeah. And I imagine others could realize this too. Sometimes it's just a part of me. It's maybe it's a tired part of me. Definitely. Maybe it's a part that's feeling lonely. Or an anxious part of me. Maybe it's a younger part of me. Have you ever felt like you were caught in a time warp or something? And whatever age you ended up in that time warp, that's the part of you that has a longing for peanut butter cookies or whatever it might be. Yeah. Yeah. Um might be a discouraged part of you. Or it might be a protective part. And it might be a part that learns somewhere along the way that whatever it is I'm longing for, whatever it is I am leaning towards or reaching for, I have thought of it and learned that it could help me survive. It could comfort me. It softens things for a moment. And you know, this is what I'm thinking. I as a young person, I'll say person, because I was a kid, but I was also a teenager raised by a very dysfunctional family unit for sure. And that part of me just wanted to survive. That person that I was at that time just wanted to survive. And I learned a lot of things that they don't serve me as an adult now, as far as survival goes. And so they've turned into these uh counterfeit comforts or counterfeit coping mechanisms, really. And um sometimes I get caught there again, thinking this has always helped me to survive, it will now, or this has always comforted me and it will now. So that's kind of, I mean, is that true for you?

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Yes. Um, I mean, actually, this feels like a relief to me to even be thinking it's not really all of me. It's not like consuming me. And that also means that it's not impossible to choose a different way. You know, I think we tell ourselves things like that. I mean, I did for years, things like this is impossible. I cannot do this, I cannot make another choice. I'm stuck. This is how I am, this is how my mom was, whatever it is, right? And you just you say those things in your mind, maybe not out loud, right? But in your mind over and over and over, and we absolutely believe it after a while. It's like, yeah, I'm stuck. Okay, there's no way. This is impossible. Um, I cannot even take a step forward. I'm consumed by this craving or or whatever it is. So I love this idea of, you know what, it's just this part of me that is longing for this or reaching for this. And if I can kind of sit with the Lord and figure that out, even for just a few minutes, right? This is gonna change my decisions, what I do next. This is gonna change where I'm going, even just a tiny step.

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Yeah.

From Shame To Compassionate Curiosity

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And I think, you know, when we believe this is all of me, yeah, we tend to respond with heaps and heaps of shame. Yep. Because it's like, this is who I am, this owns me, this is how I've always been. There's no moving forward. And then we're just we're just swimming in this awful shame. And it's it's awful. It's just awful. It's a terrible place to be. But when we realize, you know what, a part of me is reaching, suddenly compassion becomes possible. And you know, honestly, I think Jesus is incredibly compassionate toward the parts of us that are struggling. He knows, he gets it more than anybody on this planet. He made me, he understands me, he knows every moment of my life, right? And so he's full of compassion, especially when I'm struggling. Not when I'm all like fixed up and ready to go, but when I'm struggling.

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Yeah, I uh I think you're exactly right. The the whole idea that I feel like it's all consuming, like it's all of me that wants this, whatever it might be. It might be um, you know, food, it might be some other counterfeit comfort to go online and spend and shop and all of that, whatever it might be. If I realize it's a part of me and and invite him into that and talk with him about it, it really does make a difference. Empathy, compassion, uh, and compassionate curiosity becomes possible as well. It it seems as though our tendency to be all or nothing creatures is kind of where we go in a moment when we're having a craving or a longing. It's like, oh my gosh, I either have to nip this in the bud or I have to give in. But really, when we stop and look and say, Lord, what part of me is longing for this, whatever it is? You know, that's that curiosity part. Yeah, he has a chance to meet with us there.

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We can be so hard on ourselves. So hard on ourselves. Um, and it gets us into some pretty rotten places, yeah.

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It kind of does.

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Yeah.

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One

Jesus Sees More Than Struggle

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of the things I love about Jesus is that he never ever reduced people to their struggle. He didn't identify them with their struggle. He didn't, I, you know, he he just didn't go there. He saw the whole person. For instance, when he encountered the woman at the well, that's an example of that. The bleeding woman, Peter, after his failure, Thomas stuck in doubt. He didn't shame the hurting places in them. He didn't say, you should know better by now, or what's wrong with you, or are you really gonna do this again? No, he moved toward them, he reached out his his heart to them and and tenderly and truthfully and relationally. I I feel like many of us, me, I will say that, fear that if Jesus really saw the needy parts of me, he would pull away. But he does see them, he does, he knows that I am but dust. He knows, he does. And scripture paints such a different picture than this attitude of, oh my gosh, I've got to keep this hidden. No, he wants me to come into the light where he is and receive his touch, his healing, his love. You know, when I'm feeling that sense of I've gotta go after this craving or whatever it might be, what if I were to say, Lord, what part of me is longing for this? How can I experience your sufficiency, your enoughness in this moment? Is there something you want to give to me right now? Is there a way that I can be satisfied in this? How do you want to love me right now, Lord? I mean, it just makes so many things possible when I'm willing to look and see. Oh, you know what? This isn't all of me. I have a part of me that wants this, but there's 99 parts of me that aren't thinking about it.

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Yeah, that's so beautiful. I love the way you just described the way Jesus meets us. And when you think about those stories in the Bible, and there's many, there's so many. I mean, it's consistent. It's not like one day he's in a bad mood and he's like, oh, great, here comes the one with all the guys. You know, I mean, he's not. It's every day, every interaction, he's consistent. He's consistently kind, consistently compassionate, loving, tender, all the things that you just said. And uh, I mean, we know for sure this is who he is. This is his character. He's consistent, he's solid. He doesn't have these like divine mood swings. Oh god, that would be horrible.

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It would.

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I'm so grateful that he's not like that. We can depend on his character and know who he is by reading about him in the word and by his holy spirit as well. So Hebrews 4 says, We do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses. I love that word, sympathize. Yeah, I mean Jesus is not, he's not cold toward human weakness, he understands. It's not like he's gonna say, Christina, you're so you're being so human right now. You're driving me nuts. You know, it's not, he is not that way. He understands suffering, he actually made me, and so he gets me. He understands temptation and exhaustion, he understands it all. Loneliness, grief. Yeah, and because of that, we don't have to hide those struggling parts, those desperate parts of ourselves from him. We don't have to hide anything from him, nothing at all.

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Oh, that's such good news, too.

Curiosity Instead Of Self-Criticism

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I think many of us probably learn to respond to our own weakness with criticism instead of curiosity. Yeah, and that's why I love the idea of being compassionately curious, um, because the option for me is to be critically critical. Yeah, right, me too. So, I mean, think about it for a minute. If a craving rises up inside of you, and immediately you start thinking, what is wrong with me? That's critical. Yeah, why am I like this? That's not loving either. No, you should be beyond this by now. Okay, raise your hand if you have thought these thoughts when you yeah, many times. I've got both hands up and feet up, feet up, yeah, yeah. I mean, that's we want to foster a sense of curiosity because really that's a humble posture, for one thing, and that humility is where we want to land if we want to experience what God has for us in that moment. What if instead we paused and asked, what part of me is reaching right now? Lord, would you show me? And it's such a good question. It is a good question, and it works too. I've tried it. I'm not just saying it. Yeah, maybe a part of you feels unseen, emotionally exhausted, maybe overwhelmed. That's one a lot of people feel a lot of the time. Yeah, maybe part of you feels afraid or deprived or lonely or pressured or emotionally unsafe, or any other descriptor, you name it. That's the part of you that that might be reaching, and maybe food or scrolling or busyness or spending or whatever become a quick form of relief for that part, that one part that is feeling that longing. That maybe it's that deprived part, maybe it's that pressured part. It's not because you are ridiculous. It's not a good idea.

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Oh, I'm so glad you said that. Because that's what I told myself the other day. I said, Christina, this is ridiculous.

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Oh dead. No, no. It well, see, that's it's so interesting. I I heard a story that you told in one of our groups, Christina, about um your dear friend Barb, and um when she was alive, and and I was thinking, you know, what if we could treat ourselves with the kindness and the compassion and the gentleness and love that we know we appreciate in others who treat us that way, like you described Barb. And like I have described um a dear friend of mine in the past as well. Um we're not ridiculous, we're not. Right, we're not human beings instinctively search for comfort. You know, we we we came out of the womb looking for comfort, and and think about this for a moment. We came out of the womb looking for comfort, crying our heads off, and somebody shoved something in our mouth, and we got comfort. So, of course, that's one of the things we look to for comfort. It's kind of wired in us, but anyway, we are learning a new way, a better way, a different approach, curiosity instead of condemnation. That sounds so good.

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That sounds so good, and and I think at this point it's important to say recognizing this is not excusing unhealthy patterns. That's not what we're doing here. What this is about is bringing honesty into them because Jesus heals in the light, not in hiding, not in shame. The healing comes in his light.

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Oh, yeah.

Picture Jesus Coming Near

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So let's imagine something for just a moment. Go with us to this place. Imagine the part of you that feels the most needy, the most ashamed, the most reactive. Just imagine that right now, wherever you are. Imagine that moment when there's a craving that pops up, and it is just a part of you. Which part is it? And now imagine Jesus approaching you, that very part of you that is needy, most ashamed, reactive, lonely, whatever it might be. Picture Jesus. I mean, just look at his face. What is his body doing? Is I mean, he's coming near you, he's coming near, and he's not annoyed, he's not disappointed, that's not truth. He's not even, he's not recoiling, he's not going, ew, do I have to? He's not doing no way, no way, but he's steady, he's present, he's gentle. I picture him in my mind as I'm imagining this scene. I'm seeing, of course, I'm seeing Jesus walking across a beach for some reason. All of those footprints memories I have. He's coming across a beach to me and he's reaching out his arms like he's looking forward to giving me a hug. And to me that like he's going to give me what I really need. I mean, maybe he'll then give me a good back scratch, and you know how I feel about a back scratch. Yeah, what if Jesus gave me a back scratch? That would just be awesome. He's present though, he's steady and he's gentle. He's not looking at me like, oh gosh, really? This again? No, no way. What if he isn't asking you to exile those hurting parts of yourself, but to bring them into his presence right here, right now. Yes, Jesus, I come here. I am all of me. Sounds like a breath prayer.

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So I have to ask, Heidi, is he making you breakfast on the beach? No, he is not.

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He's scratching my back. Okay, we have our priorities.

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Oh, I love it.

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In Matthew 11, this is such a familiar passage. But Jesus says, Come to me, and who is he calling to him? All who labor and are heavy laden, yeah, and I will give you rest, he says. And he says he's gonna give us rest for our souls. It's not come, but don't do it until you've fixed yourself. Don't bother me with all of the stuff. Just come after you fix yourself. No, that's not no, no, he says, Come weary, come burdened, come longing, just come to me.

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I'm imagining him saying, Um, have you read this this self-help book, this teddy stick plan? How about I I'm gonna give you a stack of books um with um, you know, plans and checkoff lists. Do that first, and then I'll meet you over here. No, no, thank God he's not like that. Well, he is God. Thank God that God is not like that. I'm so grateful. So I think many people listening, and myself included, need to hear this today. Jesus is not overwhelmed by your humanity. Oh, good. Ah, I know. He knows exactly how to care for fragile hearts. Oh, hallelujah.

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Somebody needed to hear that.

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Yeah, me. And maybe somebody else out there.

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Right.

Weekly Practice And Closing Prayer

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Well, we want to encourage you to try this reflection practice. So this week, when longing rises, instead of immediately condemning yourself, how about this? Pause and ask, Lord, show me what part of me is reaching right now. What part of me is reaching right now? And then ask Jesus, what do you want to say to this part of me? This part of me that's reaching for something else right now. Not uh not to force anything or to strive for anything, but just listening to him. Jesus, what do you want to say to this part of me?

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Oh, that is beautiful, powerful. I love it. I'm just gonna go ahead and pray real quick. Okay. Lord Jesus, thank you that you are gentle with the hurting places in us. Thank you that you are not afraid of our weakness, our need, our exhaustion, or our longing. Lord, teach us to stop hiding from ourselves and from you. And when parts of us reach for comfort, help us bring those places honestly into your presence. Lord Jesus, be near to the brokenhearted, be rest for the weary, be tenderness for the ashamed. We love you, Lord, so much. And I pray in Jesus' name. Amen. Well, thank you so much for joining us. We are so glad you've been here today. And we would love to invite you to join us for our next episode of Revelation within.