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Revelation Within On the Go!
Revelation Within equips people with life-giving, grace-infused mind renewal tools to deepen their intimacy with Jesus so that counterfeit comforts (like overeating) lose their allure, and the joy and hope of Jesus fills their lives, satisfying their souls.
In our podcast we talk about mind renewal, tips and tricks for getting and staying free from counterfeit comforts like overeating (over-scrolling, over-drinking, over-anythinging...)
We began as Thin Within in 1975, a pioneer in intuitive, mindful eating back when diets were in their hey day! Thin Within has taught people how to tune in to their body's natural signals of hunger and satisfaction, remaining present with their meals and delighting in tastes and textures--and the Lord!
In the 1980s, Thin Within became a Christian ministry, showing people that the emptiness that they have felt and often filled with food that their bodies don't require, was really placed in there to be filled full with God through Jesus. He wants to set us free from all strongholds!
We rebranded our ministry and our podcast in 2023 to Revelation Within.
Join us!
Visit us in the Rev Within Collective, our online community, as well! (https://revelationwithin.com/collective/)
Find our listing of classes at https://revelationwithin.com
Revelation Within On the Go!
Grief, Cravings, and Comfort
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We’re talking about something many of us have experienced but may not recognize: how grief can show up as cravings, grazing, or the urge to keep opening the pantry even when we aren’t physically hungry. Grief isn’t limited to the death of someone we love—it can come with a difficult relationship, changes in our bodies or health, a shift at home, or the ending of a season we weren’t ready to release. Instead of criticizing ourselves, we explore what it looks like to become curious and ask, “What happened today? What am I feeling? What am I hoping this food will do for me?” We also talk about why food shouldn’t be dismissed as a “counterfeit comfort.” Food is a good gift from God; it simply was never meant to carry the weight of our sorrow.
We share practical tools we use with ourselves and our clients, including exploring the memories connected to particular foods, pairing grief with gratitude, and gently “titrating” difficult emotions so they don’t become overwhelming. Most of all, we return to the comfort of knowing that the Lord is near to the brokenhearted—and we don’t need perfect words or a polished prayer to come to Him. If grief has been showing up at your pantry door, we hope this conversation helps you respond with compassion, curiosity, and hope.
Learn more about our Revelation Within Community: https://www.revelationwithin.org
Welcome And Today’s Topic
SPEAKER_01Hi, and welcome to our podcast, Revelation Within on the Go. I'm Heidi Filesma-Epperson, one of your hosts, and the owner and lead coach of the Revelation Within Ministry.
SPEAKER_00And I'm Christina Motley, your other host, also a Revelation Within coach, and Heidi's partner in all things Revelation Within. And we are so happy to invite you to join us for this episode of Revelation Within. Welcome, welcome. Welcome. We're so glad you're here. Yeah. Today we're going to talk about grief in the pantry. I know. I I brought my tissue box and I think we're brought some for you, Heidi. And whoever might be listening know. You know what? We're gonna, we're we are gonna talk about this, but we're also gonna bring a lot of hope and joy. And so hang in there, hang in there with us.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Well, and that title may feel unexpectedly familiar, which I think is an odd thing to say. Unexpectedly familiar. Anyway, whatever. Sometimes we're gonna find ourselves in places in our homes where there's food stockpiled.
SPEAKER_00It might not just be the kitchen. That's right.
SPEAKER_01Especially this time of year. If you're hearing this before Halloween and you went off to wherever and got candy for the trick-or-treaters at your door, then you may have a stockpile of candy someplace in your home.
SPEAKER_00What? I have never gone to the Halloween candy yet.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_00Right. Oh my gosh, I can't even tell you how much of that I used to eat. Anyway, and it just seemed like because they were so small that they just didn't count for anything, right?
Stockpiles And Searching For Relief
SPEAKER_00That's what it seemed like. Anyway, we might find ourselves standing in the kitchen, and many of you can relate, and Heidi and I can certainly certainly relate. Looking for something. Something. We don't even know what it is. We're looking, we're looking, we're like opening all the cupboard doors, and we've opened the fridge five times and the freezer three times, and now we're in the garage and we're looking at the freezer in the garage. It's only later that we realize that what we're carrying is sorrow.
SPEAKER_01You know, that made me think of an old advertisement. And back in the days of TV. Yes, back in the day. Andy Griffith was the featured actor, and he's like, What are you hungry for when you don't know what you're hungry for? He said that. Do you remember the ad? No? Okay. And the answer was something on a writ. And then he would end the ad by crunching down on the I I love Ritz crackers. They're yummy, but I don't use them very often. Did you catch that? I don't know. Yes, I did catch that. The buttery, and they're lightly crispy instead of crunchy. Anyway, and he would end the ad by saying, good cracker, good cracker.
SPEAKER_00I do not remember that particular ad, but yeah, it's kind of true in some ways. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Anyhow, that's what it sounded like you were talking about.
Naming Grief And Why We Eat
SPEAKER_01And really, grief takes so many different forms, doesn't it? We grieve people that we love, of course, and we can also grieve a change in our health, a relationship, maybe that isn't what we hoped. Goodness, of course. Or a season of life that has ended. Sometimes there isn't even a clear name for the loss just yet.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it's so true. Loss can be all over the place, and there's not one of us in this world that won't experience it.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_00We all have to go through seasons of loss. Also, eating can become one of the ways that we try to get through the moment. We want, we want relief. We don't want to feel that sadness. We want to like step out of it for a minute. We want to feel a little steadier. We want something pleasant, you know, like an upgrade when life hurts.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and if that's you, friend, really, I hope you hear that we know what it's like. There's gentleness here, there's acceptance here. We aren't here to inspect your life. No, or inspect your eating. We're curious about what your heart needs or needed in moments like that.
SPEAKER_00I love that, Heidi. What is what does your heart need in moments like that? Because that's where the need really is. If I notice myself reaching for food when I'm not hungry and that pull is strong, um, I can ask, whoa, what what's going on here? What happened today? What am I feeling? What am I hoping this will do for me? I don't have to ask those questions in a harsh way at all. I want to be gentle with myself. I want to be compassionate with myself when I'm feeling such deep heartache.
SPEAKER_01Right. I heard another coach today, it was on something I was listening to, say it's not necessarily that we need better feelings, better emotions to feel. It's that we need to get better at feeling the emotions we have. And I think there's really something to that. If I can look at it with the Lord and just ask him to give me strength to process it, I mean, it takes a lot of effort to try not to feel. And it does. Yeah, it's exhausting. It is exhausting. Um, and so anyway, I I want to be careful with the phrase that we often use to describe those things we turn to when we're trying not to turn to what's real. Um, and it's that phrase counterfeit comfort. You know, food is a real gift from God, it was intended by him to bring some comfort and to bring a sense of kindness. A meal shared with somebody can be deeply comforting. Yes, and the trouble comes though, at
Gentle Questions For The Heart
SPEAKER_01least it has for me, when I ask food to carry a sorrow that I know, I know that it can't carry for me. It can't take that sorrow and that burden off of my shoulders. Not at all.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I was just thinking real quick here. Um, I was just thinking about my mom. My the my mom's death was one of the biggest losses in my life. It was just huge. And I know it is for many of us. It's just one of those, I don't know, there's nothing quite like it, I think. Um, not that it's, you know, it's like in its, it's in its own category, I think. Um, and I was thinking about how after my mom passed, I felt like I was in this kind of like a fog, you know, like I was foggy. And that's not a normal thing for me at all. I felt very foggy and like I just kind of wanted to be left alone in my little fog. But then I was drawn to all the foods that she loved. Um, and one of those was cheese sandwiches. And I can't even tell you how many cheese sandwiches I ate in the fog of just feeling that loss and that grief. I think part of my part of why that loss was so hard on me was because our relationship was hard. My mom and I, it was so complicated. And when she died, it was like, oh, there's no more chances to have kind of what I hoped with her. Um, and that was hard, you know, that was hard. And I know I'm gonna see her again. I know she's in heaven, which is amazing. Um, and God has brought lots of healing, but that still comes up. I still feel grief years later about my mom. But boy, those cheese sandwiches, we could not keep keep enough cheese and bread in the house. So, anyway, that grieving it comes in waves sometimes. It comes in big waves, sometimes it's just a little bit. Even a few minutes of relief was worth it to me at the time. Um, those cheese sandwiches, you know, they really hit the spot. But my grief also needs somewhere to go. And again, I want to approach this with compassion, which is not my go-to so much normally. You know, my default in the past was to be very critical of myself.
SPEAKER_01Psalm 34 tells us that the Lord is near to the brokenhearted. I love that. He doesn't wait for us to get over ourselves or get cheerful or you know, composed
When Food Cannot Carry Sorrow
SPEAKER_01even before we come to him. He can he invites us to come just the way we are, and then we can tell him the truth. Lord, I miss her, or Lord, I'm frightened, or I'm angry this happened, or this shift in my life calling really, you know, I mean, that bothers me, Lord. Or even I don't know why I'm crying. I don't a lot of times I don't know why I'm crying. That happens a lot, doesn't it? But I know food isn't gonna stop it either.
SPEAKER_00You know, sometimes we think meeting God in grief means to ask him to fix it quickly. Like I used to think, okay, I'm gonna sit down with the Lord, it's gonna be this big, huge thing. I'm gonna go through three boxes of tissues, I'm gonna have to take a day off, you know, that kind of thing. But no, it doesn't have to be. It can be, that can be part of it. But perhaps today, the invitation is simply to let him be with you, to be with us. You know, maybe that's it. It can be very simple uh in moments as well.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and that may sound like a small thing, but really it can be really hard. Yeah, and I mean, we're used to looking for a way out of painful feelings, and in my opinion, that's kind of the way we've been made is find whatever's wrong, fix it, and then move on. It's like some things can't be fixed. Um, what might it look like instead to pause, maybe even put a hand over our heart and say, Jesus, this hurts. Yes. Will you please meet me here? Meet me here in a way that I can sense your presence and your power over me, please, Lord.
SPEAKER_00Well, and then we can kind of consider what does care look like in this moment? It can look a lot of different ways. Maybe it's a meal, maybe it's calling someone who is a safe person in your life, maybe it's stepping outside and putting your feet in the grass, you know, just kind of taking a break from the world. Maybe it's having a good cry, maybe it's resting. That's one that often gets overlooked, or remembering the person that we miss, you know, with gratitude. Maybe talking with someone about a memory and being thankful for that memory, we can receive food with gratitude and also bring our sorrow to God.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, one of the things that I found is often true for me, if there
A Mother’s Death And Comfort Foods
SPEAKER_01is a food that comes to mind, and it might come to mind when I'm clearly grieving something, or it might come to mind at other random times, ask God to show me why that food. When did that food first become a part of my life? Who was with me then? What are the memories that I associated with that food? I mean, you mentioned cheese sandwiches. If you don't usually want cheese sandwiches, that's a really good thing to ask God about what is this about? And and it sounds like that's what you did. But what is so awesome and a beautiful antidote to having uh kind of a this awkward grasping a hold of a food is to ask God to help us be mindful of and remind ourselves of all the things we loved about time with that person, you know, going through and just giving thanks for all the things. And if it's a memory with food, that's okay. You know, just thanking him for every little thing we can think of. Yes. Um, and I know in our Overcoming Cravings course, which um we haven't offered for a while, but anyway, we do still have it. But um, that is one of the things we would walk through is what are memories that I have attached to certain foods? Is there an emotion connected with that? And and grief, certainly, or transitions, or um, you know, just a relationship that has ebbed in some way.
SPEAKER_00Um, anyway, just a wonderful mind renewal tool for grieving that I have used for myself and also with some of the ladies that I coach is coupling grief together with gratitude. Um, and we think, you know what, I can't go down that road of memories of grieving. I can't do that. It's too hard, it's too heavy. I just can't even go there. Let's just not even talk about that loss. But when you couple gratitude with the grieving, it's kind of like it lightens it up. It softens our hearts, it turns our hearts toward the Lord, and it really makes a difference, at least for me. So, for example, I might make a statement like, I really miss playing music with my mom. We played so much music together, it was so much fun. She on the piano, me on the uh tenor recorder. We just had a blast and I felt so connected to her during those times. Okay, so if I stop there, well, that's you know, it's gonna be hard. I mean, I'm thinking about it. I've got memories going through my mind right now about playing music with her. But what if I couple gratitude with the grief and I say, Lord, that was really special. You gave us a lot of time to play music together in the last three, four years of her life. And that was wonderful. I'm so grateful. She had Alzheimer's disease, and music never left her, not even at the very end. And so that was a gift from you, Lord. You gave us those gifts. And I have recordings of us playing music together, and so I could listen to those in that moment as well. So it's like the gratitude, it helps take that sting out of the sorrow because I'm focused on Lord, how did you bless me in that? How did you bless my mom, you know, in those times? So wonderful. I love that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I love that too. And and it made me think of another tool that we have referred to before, and that's titrating. So if you are struggling and, you know, to be honest with you, God gave us emotions to feel them. If they feel like they're gonna overwhelm us, though, it's hard to even get started with uh um a kind of feeling of our emotions that's going to be positive in any way. So titrate. So I'm gonna go there and I'm gonna think of a memory I have of maybe it's a relationship that I miss or long for in some way. I'm gonna think very concretely, and maybe I'll throw in some gratitude too while I'm at it. Yes. And then I'm gonna swing away emotionally for a moment and maybe even distract myself with something else. Um, instead, not the fridge, not the pantry, or and then come back and go towards those memories again and giving gratitude for them. Um, and so when we do that, we kind of build our capacity a little bit. And um, I know I remember the first
The Lord Near The Brokenhearted
SPEAKER_01Christmas season that I um was single again after not planning on being single ever again in my life. And um I I just it started with me just grieving, grieving, grieving, tears, and I missed this and I missed that. And and then I was reminded that you know, there is so much there to be thankful for for those 33 years I am grateful for, and I was very specific. And and then I I let myself grieve um and then titrated away, and it was really um, it was sweet. It reminded me that you know God blessed me with that season of wonderful memories for 33 years. Most of them were wonderful, they really were. And and so every Christmas season when I head down that um, I don't want to say memory lane, but there there are thoughts that come into my head, like I wish that my family could be together again. And and God reminds me, we had a beautiful season of that, and to give, and it does hurt, and it's okay to admit that. Yes, we don't need to run from the feelings God has given us. So and that's one way we stay out of the pantry when we're feeling sad.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I just find if I can find that time with the Lord is so sweet. He said something to me this morning. Um, this morning, um, I felt such a pull toward food, and yesterday, all day yesterday as well, and I didn't really know what was going on, and I really didn't want to deal with it. And so this morning, um, I heard God say to me, Christina, you are gonna keep going to the food until we talk about this. Um, and it was so sweet and it was so loving, a gentle invitation. There was nothing harsh, no condemnation. I I wasn't even sure what was going on, but he was inviting me to come to him. But I thought to myself, hmm, how long do I want to go with this very strong pull to food? How long do I want to go? I get to choose. Um, and so I said, Okay, Lord, let's talk about it. And while we talked about it in the shower, um, lots of talking goes on in the shower. Anyway, um, he showed me some some really important things that I was dealing with. Some of it had to do with loss, and it's not like it was all fixed and done right there, but that pull to food starts coming down when I bring things to the Lord, even if I don't even know what they are.
SPEAKER_01That's beautiful. Thanks for sharing that. So here's a question you can take with you. Is there a now when we talk about loss? I don't know about y'all, but when Christina and I talk about loss, we could be talking about changes in our body, changes in our home life. In any way, a child moves out, a child moves back in. Um our husbands get a new job. Our husband, yeah, Michael isn't here anymore during the day. And I really liked having him available whenever I wanted him. And um it can be a change in what you're doing with your life, many of the hours of your day. It can be anything can be a grief. Yeah, there's so many things. And so ask the Lord to show you what loss have I been trying to carry without giving myself room to grieve, Lord. And and then wait on him. He says, My sheep hear my voice, they listen to me. Um, and and so we know he speaks. Um you may not hear it audibly, by the way. But anyhow, um, yeah, and then ask him, would you be with me here in it as I feel it, Lord? Yes. And oh, there's nothing sweeter than when he brings his beautiful presence to whatever it is that's going on in your life, and you can talk with him about it and you can cry on his shoulder, and it's safe.
SPEAKER_00You know, I found that for me, there's like a top five things that really draw me to food in a strong way. This is one of the only five. Well,
What Care Can Look Like
SPEAKER_00the five, these are like the top. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. These are like the, yeah, because you've heard them all. These are like the top five, you know. Definitely grief and loss is one of the top five. And fear is another one for me, a really big one. Um, another one is feeling vulnerable because of my health. You know, there's certain ones that I see come up again and again. And you will also notice that you'll have some of the same things come up again and again. Grief is one, grief and loss come up, comes up for all of us. It's a hard one for all of us. God is ready. You don't need a polished answer. You can begin with one honest sentence to the Lord, and you can actually stop there too and pick it up again later. It doesn't have to be this big long drawn-out thing. Um, but God is ready to receive us with his comfort and his love and his peace, and he's ready to minister to us in those times. He he's there for you. It's a a gentle invitation.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, definitely. I just want to pray for a minute. Lord, you know the losses each one of us are carrying, including the ones that we don't even want to speak out loud. I know there are times when when if somebody asks me how can I pray for you or what's going on in your life, a part of me kind of recoils at the idea of speaking out loud what it is that's on my heart heavily. And because somehow it's almost like it makes it more real if I speak it. I know that's not true, but Lord, uh sometimes then I just keep quiet about it instead of speaking it to anybody. Lord, thank you for drawing near to the brokenhearted. Give us courage to at the very least tell you the truth and give us the grace to receive the care we need today and to not go to another kind of comfort. We want you, and you have called yourself our comforter. Thank you, Lord. Amen.
SPEAKER_00Amen. So know that sorrow does not make you a failure. Please hear that today. Sorrow does not make you a failure. You are welcome to bring your whole heart to God. Yep. We are so glad that you've been here today. Yes, glad, glad, glad. So glad. And we would love to invite you to join us for our next episode of Revelation Within. See you next time. Bye bye.
