Welcome And Why Mind Renewal

SPEAKER_02 0:01

Hi, and welcome to our podcast, Revelation Within on the Go. I'm Heidi Bilesma Epperson, one of your hosts, and the owner and lead coach of Revelation Within.

SPEAKER_03 0:13

And I'm Christina Motley, your other host, also a Revelation Within coach, and Heidi's partner in all things Revelation Within. And we are so happy to invite you to join us for this episode of Revelation Within. Uh how many different ways can we say it? I don't know, but we sure are trying to find out. Yeah, that's for sure.

SPEAKER_02 0:42

Uh well, we have something, uh well, it's always fun, in my opinion, to talk about mind renewal. And we're gonna do that again this day! Love it, love it, love it. It's our favorite topic. Yeah, this time we're gonna talk about mind renewal and how it's connected to Holy Spirit-led eating, peaceful eating. Because, you know, the truth is so many people come to us who are hoping to get help with their eating challenges. And I get that totally. That's what we need for decades. Me too. Um, and then we focus them on renewing their minds, and they're like, wait, I asked for well.

unknown 1:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:24

So we thought it might be good to have an episode that where we again talk about the connection and why that's the case. So that sounds like a good idea. Let's talk about that.

SPEAKER_03 1:37

Yes, I love it. Great idea.

The Many Reasons We Overeat

SPEAKER_02 1:39

Well, in a nutshell, I can say it this way: In my history, I have overeaten about anything and everything. If I was agitated or irritable, I could eat over that. If I was uncertain and pensive, I could eat over that. Depressed and sad, of course I'll eat over that. Situations such as sickness, a health crisis, divorce, or the possibility of divorce or death, of course. Empty nest, that'll do it. Church split, etc., etc. etc. etc. I could go on and on and on. Christina, how about you? What are things you have eaten over?

SPEAKER_03 2:16

Well, I gotta go. That list was just too depressing. Wasn't it? It was, you know what? Anything and everything. Yeah. Um, somebody hurts my feelings. There's one right there. Um, I'm tired, I'm overwhelmed, I need to lay down. I'm gonna go have something to eat. I need to pick me up. Um, what about big things like, oh no, my my mom has Alzheimer's disease? What about health crises, like you said? Oh, I have Lyme disease. Wait, I have breast cancer. What is going on? I'm completely overwhelmed. How about an argument with my husband? How about when the kids are just doing their own thing and I'm like, what happened? I didn't raise them right. Oh my gosh, there's so many things. Disappointment is a huge one. Sorrow, grief goes on. We can go on for another. I got more too then.

SPEAKER_02 3:21

We are not in competition. No, the husband has cancer, the sister has cancer, the best friend has cancer, the daughter has a messed up neck, shoulder, and back. The son has some digestive weirdness going on. I haven't been able to get to a doctor in years for things I need to be seen for.

SPEAKER_03 3:42

Oh my god. It's it's we can just say that Heidi and I have had a pretty tough season for several years. Pretty tough. We've had we've been hit with a lot of stuff. And maybe you have to, you who are listening. Right. And so you get us, and and we get you.

SPEAKER_02 4:00

Absolutely. And the thing is, is if you are like us, you have connected all of these emotions and all of these challenging situations to the upgrade that is food.

unknown 4:13

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 4:14

And I'm not laughing at the sinful part of it. I'm laughing at the attitude that I have. It's like, oh my gosh, if I didn't laugh, I'd be crying 100% of the time. I have cried a lot over it. Have you? Yes.

SPEAKER_03 4:29

Oh, oh my gosh. Years and years of tears and guilt and shame. Okay, okay, okay. Journaling the guilt and shame and then journaling it again the next day. And just um, getting nowhere. Right. How do I get out? How do I get out? Right.

SPEAKER_02 4:51

Perfect question and perfect timing for that perfect question. Oh, yes. That's what we're talking about.

Looking For A Way Out

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So let me ask you this, Christina, before I just kind of launch into my whatever I'm gonna say, I want to ask you when you reached out to me to get coaching years ago in 2014, I think it was. Yes, March, March. What what were you looking for? What was it that you wanted?

SPEAKER_03 5:22

Okay, so I was at a point where more than anything, more than anything, I needed to get out. I needed to get out of the horrible, awful cycle that I was in of overeating and pain and shame and guilt, all of that. I was desperate to get out. And honestly, I wasn't sure there was a way out. And so when I came to you, Heidi, I think I was looking for a glimmer of hope. Uh, I was really in a tough place. And if you had known me at that time, you wouldn't have said that. You would have said, Oh, Christina, she loves her life, she's got three kids, she's teaching at the school, she's got a great marriage, this all these things are happening. But inside, deep down, I mean, yes, I loved my life, but deep down, I was in despair and I was hopeless, and I was stuck in a horrible stronghold, a horrible pattern, and it owned me. It owned me secretly, really was secret.

SPEAKER_02 6:30

So, what were you hoping to get out of the coaching experience? Were you, I mean, do you think do you think that you were aware of this mammoth-sized blackness? Or was it more, I want to lose weight, I want to get this figured out? I mean, what what what would you do?

SPEAKER_03 6:47

You know, I had gone up and down in my weight so many times by that point. I wasn't at my highest weight when I contacted you. Um, the number on the scale didn't matter anymore in terms of what I was desperate for. I had seen it go up, I had seen it go down, I had seen it go up, down, up, down. I mean, I just I knew that it would continue to do that. Uh, I knew how to lose weight because I knew how to go on a diet, and I knew how to gain weight because I hated diets and I couldn't sustain them. And so I didn't need answers to that. I needed answers to getting out of the cycle of guilt and shame. That I just couldn't, I I had no idea. I had tried everything, um, mostly crying out to God and and journaling the same thing day after day. But I was desperate and I thought, I thought you might have the answer to that, Heidi.

SPEAKER_02 7:47

Well, tell me this. What in a nutshell did you receive from the coaching relationship that made any kind of difference?

What Christina Wanted From Coaching

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What did I tell you stop eating, or only eat this food, or tie yourself to a chair?

SPEAKER_03 8:04

Put the fork down. No, no, no. You you know what? The first thing you did, Heidi, was you met me exactly where I was. That's the first thing you did. You didn't push me, you didn't say, Well, you should be here, you didn't say, well, you know, I don't even know where to begin with you. You the first thing you did was made me feel totally safe and completely encouraged. And this is a big one. Christina, you're not crazy. That's what I got from you. That I wasn't crazy and that there was hope. I didn't know those first few calls. I didn't know what we were really gonna do. I mean, I'm like, what are we gonna do here? I I have no idea. I thought I've kind of done everything. I had been to a nutritionist, um, I I'd had counseling, all the exercise plans, all the food plans, you know, at the time. I had done all of that, so I thought, what's what's she gonna do that's different? Um, but we focused very quickly on who is God and what does He do and who am I because of God and how do I basically wash my mind of all the lies that I have believed for so many years? Yeah, how do I do that? And how how do I invite God into this disaster that is my mind? And how do I learn how to renew my mind with God's thoughts so that He can transform me? And when you told me about that, even though I'd been a Christian since I was a little girl, Bible study, church every week, all small groups, you know, devotions, I had done it all, but somehow I didn't understand that that my mind could be renewed, yeah, and that by thinking God's thoughts after him, I could have a different life. Yeah, I didn't know that. And that was the way out.

SPEAKER_02 10:10

Yes, that's what I was looking for, yes, and the same ended up being true of me before I ever met you, probably by 10 years or so. Uh, you know, that I I was struggling so much. Like, how could I be involved in this ministry? I was working with Judy Halliday

Safety, Hope, And A New Focus

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on all the materials um for the Thin Within ministry, and it's like, oh my goodness, this why am I not getting it? I there's something I'm not getting.

SPEAKER_03 10:41

Yes, right.

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And God went to the heart of it

Washing The Mind Of Lies

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for me. Um, and and it was mind renewal. I didn't realize it at the time, but he started with me on forgiveness. Now, why is why do I say forgiveness is mind renewal? Because it's thinking God's thoughts about wrongs done to me or things that I think are wrongs done to me. Yes, and that was the most important place for me to start. And really, I would encourage anybody who hasn't gone there before, or even if you have, to go there with God again and ask him, what are your thoughts about this wound? What are your thoughts? And it's not to blame all kinds of people in your history, because what we do is we come out of it saying, I can own this, I can own this, Lord, I can forgive them for this. So it's not like I'm laying blame with somebody. I am I'm taking my responsibility and I'm bringing it to God saying, I need forgiveness too, uh, and and others that have wronged me. And that was huge. That was a like a hinge around which my whole journey shifted. Um because if I if I was so busy pointing at other people, well, they wronged me, and that person wronged me, and that I'm gonna stay bitter, I'm gonna stay irritable, I'm gonna stay just jaded, and that's gonna turn me towards food. That's one of my biggest triggers, is when I've been wounded or when I feel like I have been um mistreated in some way. It's to go to food over that sort of thing. But over time, I began to grow in seeing that mind renewal wasn't just thinking God's thoughts about wrongs done to me. It could be thinking God's thoughts about my schedule, it could be thinking God's thoughts about whatever stresses me out, about any emotion. And so I began to actively renew my mind about any kind of emotion that might pop up. And as I did that, my whole perspective on food and eating was transformed. God transformed my mind, my heart, my body, everything. Um, and so thinking God's thoughts about wrongs done me was where it started. I even resented God. I mean, that sounds crazy to say out loud, but and I know I have before, but yeah, um, I had to deal with feeling like God had expected too much of me. Yes. And that is a form of resentment. So, um, and then I just have to stick it in here because it made a huge difference in my life. Barb Raveling's book, I deserve a Donut and Other Lies That Make Me Eat.

SPEAKER_03 13:31

Yes.

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Using that has been and continues to be from time to time, not as much as it was in those early days. Um, life-changing. Basically, I just take that book and the questions. There's a ton of questions on all these different topics. And she has an app too that does the same thing, basically. And just pray it out loud. You know, what am I feeling? Why

Forgiveness As The First Hinge

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do I feel that I am being mistreated in this situation? What is it that I am looking for? What is it that um I need um uh holiday eating? That's another one that's in that book. Yeah, we could go on and on about that, but um by 2006, because I started this in like 2001 or something, but by 2006, mind renewal began to make such a big difference in me. God was transforming me. I thought of food differently. Mind renewal had given me the ability to process my emotions that I had struggled with previously, those emotions that took me to food. And instead of gritting my teeth, I will eat less, I will eat less, I will eat less. I dealt more effectively with those emotions by renewing my mind. So that was awesome.

SPEAKER_03 14:46

Well, and when I think back to when you and I started coaching, you were actually in a really tough spot in your life during time. Yes, you were. Um, I remember by our second call, there were a couple things that you shared with me, and we were just getting to know each other, and I thought, oh my gosh, like she's really dealing with something hard. And yeah, and I thought, you know how you think, oh, I don't know, if somebody has arrived, you know, it's like, oh, everything's good, everything's fine, and and that's maybe that's why she's doing so well. But I realized she had this, these difficult, very difficult things going on and was renewing her mind. And you know, I was just floored by that. That was one of the, I don't know, one of the aha's that I had early on was um she gets, she gets me, and she gets this, and I'm gonna do. I remember saying to the Lord, I'm gonna do whatever Heidi does, and I'm just gonna like do it exactly the way she does, and let's see what happens. And he showed up, boy, he showed up.

SPEAKER_02 16:10

What was it like for you as you began to renew your mind? What what were what did you notice, Christina? How was it connected to food eating and your perspective on your body and all of that? What

A Tool That Helps Renew Thoughts

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changed?

SPEAKER_03 16:27

Yeah, so at first I thought that all God wanted to do in me was figure out this food and eating thing and body image. I thought, if this gets figured out,

Truth Lists And Daily Practice

SPEAKER_03 16:39

my whole life is gonna fall into place. Um, I had some big big things going on at the time too. I had my mother-in-law was living with us, she was in hospice care, she was very close to passing away, and I had three kids, and I was teaching at the school close by, and my parents, and all a lot of things going on too. I remember it wasn't, yeah, it wasn't like, oh, I have this nice, easy lull in my life, and so I'm gonna learn about mind renewal. No, the best time to learn about mind renewal is when you're desperate and way too busy. That's the best time. Yeah. Because you can really see the difference even that much more. So, in the beginning, for me, it was all about food and eating. I thought this is my my one big stronghold. I gotta tackle this. Let's go. And so, my first experience with mind renewal was what are the lies that I am believing about food, about eating, and about my body. That's where I started. That's where we started, Heidi, because you started where I was, which is what an excellent coach does. And and I I've told you this before, but after that first phone call, I said to myself, that was the most encouraging person I've ever met. Oh I was so encouraged by you, Heidi. Where'd you go? No, no, and I felt so safe with you, I couldn't wait until our next call. Um, anyway, so I started there. I started with what do I believe about food? And what what do I do with my emotions around food? Why do I go to food so many times a day? What am I really longing for? What's happening in my heart, in my mind, all of that. And then about my body. Why? Why do I hate my body? Why have I hated it my whole life? You know, what how does God see me? How does God see my body? How does God see food? It there was a lot there, just that, just starting there, there was a lot. And I remember that I wrote my first truth list um at the beginning. Um, and it was like a whole page long, typewritten with little print. Like there was a lot on that page. I printed it out and I made copies, and I had that truth list in my car, I had it in my school bag, in my desk at school, I had it in the living room in that little drawer that always gets stuck. I had it in my purse. I I started to use that list of truths about food, eating, and body to renew my mind. I don't know, three, four, five times a day.

SPEAKER_02 19:39

Wow. Wow.

SPEAKER_03 19:41

Well, because I was gonna be all in or all out, I was not doing this halfway. I kind of thought this is it, this is it for me. If I don't, if if I don't move forward in this, if if nothing happens here, I I'm just gonna give up. And I don't even know what that would have looked like giving up, honestly. But um there's there was a lot of despair there. And so I jumped in with two feet, even though I was busier than all get out, and I started to notice actually very quickly things changing for me. I noticed that the more I renewed my mind with God's thoughts, the less the lies came up. And it was it wasn't a one and done, it wasn't a hurry up quick thing, it wasn't a quick fix, but it was working. I noticed it right away. I noticed it within a day, but then it would quickly fade, you know, like that new thought. Oh, I am a new creation in Christ, for example. I remember that was on my list. I remember it. And I would say it, I wasn't sure I believed it, I wasn't sure what it really meant, and then it would fade away. And then two hours later I would say it again. And it was on that long list. I probably had, I don't know, 25, 35 statements on that list of things that you and I had talked about, Heidi. Yeah. And that you had helped me to see I was believing all these lies. Um, and so within the first week I thought, you know what, I can do this. Um, a new diet plan, no, I can't do that, or a new exercise plan, or more restrictions. But this, I could do this. And it was actually fun and became hopeful. I was enjoying it. I was, it was bringing life to me. It wasn't draining me, it was bringing life and energy. It was helping me to connect with God in a whole new way. Um and then as the weeks went by, I realized what you knew all along, Heidi, this is not about food and eating in my body. Right. Right. This is about my relationship with God, who I am in Christ, who He is. This is about so much more than I thought it was. And I realized I can incorporate everything going on in my life with this mind renewal thing. I can make another list about my marriage. I can make another list about that difficult work situation. I can renew my mind about the truth about, you know, each one of my kids and the struggles and the joys there. I can renew my mind about celebrating uh I mean, just everything. I can renew my mind about anything and everything.

SPEAKER_02 22:43

Anything and everything, right?

SPEAKER_03 22:44

Um, and then yeah, things really changed after

Inviting God Into Eating

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that.

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So, how would you say that mind renewal has been connected for you with spirit-led eating, holy spirit-led eating, and peaceful eating? Has has that been impacted as well?

SPEAKER_03 23:02

Oh, yeah, completely and totally. But I'm just gonna say right now, in case you're thinking, oh well, she's arrived, because there is no place of arrival until we get to heaven. I am on this journey every day. So I'm just gonna say, yesterday I had uh some huge emotions came up and I ate. Um, I went back to some old habits and I ate some uh food in the afternoon. I wasn't hungry and I I knew what to do afterwards. I took it to the Lord. But I just want you to know that it's it's always there. Yeah, it's always not, yeah, if I'm not renewing my mind. But the idea of eating in a way that did not cause guilt and shame fascinated me. I was fascinated because I thought everybody must feel guilt and shame when they eat. There must not be a way to eat without guilt and shame. And so I loved that idea and I chased after it. I was very fascinated by it. Um so I started inviting God into my meals instead of saying, I'll see you after I eat because I know I'm gonna eat too much. So I'll check with you after and then we'll talk about guilt and shame again. No, I started inviting him into my meals and inviting him into all the um the ways that you can eat that are life-giving and full of joy and hope. Um, for example, choosing foods that my body enjoyed, that tasted good to me, like I was given the permission to do that. What? You know, I can choose foods that I enjoy. Oh that blew me away. That was that by itself was so monumental for me. And then choosing foods that my body loved, that made me feel good, that God had you know uh lovingly created for me. Um, and then the whole idea of listening to your body, that was completely foreign to me. Um, I had done some of that before with a different program that was very judgmental and very condemning. And so I had pretty much pushed that away for years. But this wasn't like that. This was um let's listen to your body and I have made your body fearfully and wonderfully, and let's do this together, let's discover, let's get to know your body together. That's what I felt like God was inviting me to. So while I was inviting him in, he was inviting me into this deeper relationship with him where food was there, food was involved, eating was involved, and that was very, very exciting to me. And I just couldn't get enough of it. I wanted more of that. I wanted to feel peace while I was eating and after I was eating and before I was eating. I wanted, I wanted to feel peace, and I started tasting that that was freedom. I started tasting freedom in those first few months, and I realized wow, there's this whole world with the Lord. There's this whole thing here that I didn't know existed.

SPEAKER_02 26:34

Well, what's so cool is both of us, both you and I, were struggling with being at peace with food, eating in our bodies, and we both wanted a solution for that. And God took both of us on a somewhat roundabout journey by renewing, you know, teaching us how to renew our minds, and through that, He would transform our thinking. I love that. And but really for both of us, it's brought us to a place where peace with food, eating, and our body image is possible. Yes. And it's not just possible that we tap it and run away, uh, you know, where we it we can live there. Um, but it requires that we think differently. So we have to continue to monitor our thoughts and where are they going? And um, I don't know about you, but I don't feel like I'm tiptoeing around my lies and things that I used to believe anymore.

Romans 12 And Real Hope

SPEAKER_02 27:30

I feel like um I know when there's a lie going on, pretty pretty significantly. It's obvious. Um, you know, the world says that we have a food eating and body problem. And so the solutions of our world are gonna focus on food eating and body problems being solved, like diet, exercise, self-discipline, yeah, deprivation, uh, whatever it might be. And I love that God is so different than the systems of the world. Yes, yes, Romans 12, 1 and 2. Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God. This is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of the mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is, his good, pleasing, and perfect will. They are connected. Mind renewal and spirit-led eating, peaceful eating. They are connected for sure. Absolutely no doubt about it.

SPEAKER_03 28:43

Yes. In case you're thinking, you guys don't know me, you guys don't know how far gone I am, you don't get it. Let me just tell you that we get it. And this, there, you are not too far gone. You are not. There is hope for you here, and this will change your heart as well. I mean, it's God's design, so it's the best of the best. There's nothing better for a stronghold than something that God has designed, right? Um, yeah, and Heidi and I are far from perfect. Uh, we are renewing our minds every day. God is um with us in this, we invite him in all the time. We have challenges and struggles every day, but we are living in freedom.

SPEAKER_02 29:36

Yay! If you're interested in learning more, visit revelationwithin.com. We have everything there. It's well, it's being moved there as we speak. But we have a brand new website, it's beautiful. Yay, come on by revelationwithin.com. Yes. Yay!

unknown 29:56

Yay.

SPEAKER_03 29:57

Well, we are so glad that you've been here today, and I'm really glad that we've been here too. I'm glad too. We would love to invite you to join us for our next episode of Revelation Within. See you next time. Bye bye.